Local knucklehead (but not according to his Mom) JaVale McGee encapsulated the Wizards' already-lost season in perfect soundbite-sized form, pulling off a #JaVanityDunk (as coined by the Doofus Overlord Tweet Machine) in the third quarter of the local cagers' 11th loss in 12 games. What's worse, his postgame comments reinforced the notion that he's a taller, ganglier version of Nuke LaLoosh - a million dollar talent with a five cent head.
Despite my political feelings, I gave President Gheorghe W. Bush his due propers when he hurled a seed from the mound in kicking off the Washington Nationals' inaugural season. I trust that my GOP friends will be similarly appreciative of President Obama's soulful - if abbreviated - tribute to the Reverend Al Green. In any case, our President is cooler than your chief executive.
I've been spending way too much time at Neatorama, because they always deliver the goods. To wit:
Who's doing the Polar Plunge with Dave on the Jersey Shore on 2/18?
We've been derelict in adopting a Premiership side, but it'll be hard to beat Fulham in the G:TB Darby. Mostly because of American star, accomplished rapper, and all-around badass Clint Dempsey. The U.S. international became Fulham's all-time leading goalscorer earlier this season, and topped that by tallying the first-ever hat trick by an American in EPL play yesterday to lead the Cottagers to a 5-2 win over Newcastle. Enjoy Deuce's song stylings below. As celebrity rappers go, Dempsey's flow is solid.
The third-ranked Duke women's tennis team defeated 43rd-ranked William & Mary 7-0 in its season opener Friday night in the Sheffield Indoor Tennis Center. The East Carolina swimming & diving teams swept Saturday's meet against William & Mary inside Minges Natatorium. The Pirate women topped the Tribe 150-136 while the men claimed a 165.5-122.5 triumph. The Archbishop Stepinac senior defensive end Austin Taps committed to William & Mary in mid-December, but had his heart set somewhere else. Being accepted and offered by the University of Pennsylvania, Taps needed to raise his SAT score and then be one of a possible three players from the lower band of applicants, based on a sliding scale system of GPA and SAT scores, to be selected. When Taps was asked to go on an official visit two weekends ago he believed the rest would fall into place. He got a lengthy acceptance letter Thursday, decommited from William & Mary and will be headed to UPenn next season. Taps said when William & Mary, where his brother Tim goes, offered it gave him a week to accept or it would be taken away. “I couldn’t have been happier with the University of Pennsylvania,” Taps said. “It’s really been my dream school.”
But we keep rotting. I mean rooting. I guess.
Finally, a G:TB staffer landed this monster. He's on the left, a bit obscured by the fish. Oddly, it doesn't look like him, but we'll chalk that up to the exertion of the moment. It'll keep him in meals for months.
And you thought you'd never see this recurring feature again.
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93 comments:
I will be in OK City and Dallas this week, working, drinking, eating BBQ and talking with lots of peole who don't like Obama. I hope to add to the thread of idiocy. I will be at the Thunder-Pistons game Monday night in the owners' seats. I will ask if they read the Sports Guy a lot.
Kurt Warner just observed that you have to outscore the patriots. Isn't that true of any team, i.e., the team that scores the most points wins? Those are the rules, right?
what's up with the horrendous formatting at the bottom of this post?
Look at TR bigtyming...
TR, if you get to meet GM Sam Presti at the Thunder game, I'm going to be jealous
indeed, teej. a mystery editor dropped some additional nuggetry into twigtb. the content is much appreciated. the mental patient formatting, not so much.
I'm a straight baller. At least that's what I'll tell folks from my middle seat on the back of the plane on my way from NYC to OKC, with a layover on the way there and back.
tr, make sure you bring your gtb business cards
As opposed to when I emailed the editorial staff last night and was wrong with this news, it's official now: Joe Paterno is dead.
Say what you want abOut Chris christie, he's kicking ass on meet the press. Very persuasive speaker.
you should have seen the one that got away.
how does van persie miss from there?
Formatting fixed.
Steve Buckhantz is calling his least homerific Wizards game of the past 5 years. Tune in to CSN if you don't believe me.
I wonder if they're starting to tell announcers to tone it down when they're being broadcast on NBA/NHL Network. Jack Edwards was slightly less homerific than usual for the Rangers-Bruins game yesterday.
Makes sense, for a broader audience. Steve-o was actually conceding that Wizards players commited a few fouls.
Something not tailored for a broader audience is Phil Simms' hair. I think it's time to buzz it.
Steven Tyler's braveheart look is past its prime. He can still energize an audience though.
for the record, the giants sure have a ream of destiny whiff about them. sorry, jerry.
interesting autocorrect/typo.
vince wilfork beastmode
COuld be a pivotal interception there. Patriots were in "We think we're unstoppable" mode.
Baltimore's play calling is frustrating. Send someone on a 7 yard slant and it'll go for 25.
Brady doesn't look right.
i think brady looks hot. especially when he wears uggs.
That draw play on third and 3 from the 30 was gutless.
If I become a rapper I will call myself wacca flacca flacco.
The little joy album from which Volkswagen drew the song for their passat ad is worth listening to.
kinda hope the patriots pay for the arrogance they displayed with that deep ball
I hope they play for the win, not the tie.
Lee Evans, you suck.
Wow - a little jittery there, Billy?
what the...?
That is an awful, awful way to lose. Authorities are feverishly working in the locker room to change Cundiff's identity.
Jesus, Twitter is a hot fucking mess today.
Dear Terrapin Brewery,
You Rye Pale Ale is delicious. Good job. I love you guys, even if you are from Athens, GA.
- Mark
Isn't it a journalistic conflict of interest for bruschi to sit in kraft's box?
Joe buck went with the extra high armhole on that blazer. Stupidly snug.
Who is Christine chemowitz?
My father just emailed me to tell me that Tom Brady was the 199th pick in the draft. Because this is news.
damn, vernon davis is fast
Frank gore is a fucking load. Brandon Jacobs is soft like a playtex applicator.
Chip Kelly to the Buccaneers? Say whaa?
are we reporting that, teej?
That douchenozzle Mike Florio is, so do with it what you will...
http://sbn.to/xZt17R
how long has mayim bialek been back on television? #whoa
That means you don't watch CBS...or the Big Bang Theory. That's a notch in your tiny, toddler belt, sir.
Does Jenna Van Oy do porn now?
this niners defense is stout
williams just made one of the dumber errors you ever want to see
my son cried like a baby when he had to go to bed tonight because he wanted to watch the end of the game. stupid west coast.
Lots of odd/bad jersey numbers on the sf offense.
I do not want a ne/ny rematch. So I'm relying on Alex smith?
These game have been shitty today, eh?
Roger Craig just shot his TV.
A 9-7 team winning the NFC championship would be as unlikely a story as a dishonored former speaker of the house with a penchant for Tiffany jewels and crooked lobbying winning the GOP nomination.
Who spent more at Tiffanys: Newt, or Kobe?
Not sure. But Kobe didn't spend dirty money.
dave, i'm with ian - how often do they get to see their squad in a conference title game. killjoy.
Why does coughlin have so many zippers? Looks like Michael Jackson's jacket.
Is that the right call?!
I cannot wait until Hochuli has to explain the new playoff OT rules.
ALL THE FAIL
Eli is standing in there and getting f'ing killed on this possession
Shades of tyree
American idol yo!
I was allowed to stay up late when my teams were in the playoffs when I was a kid. That really only applied to the Cardinals at that point because the Magic and Bucs were absolutely terrible. But still, come on Dave.
FOX WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???
Dave also does not allow wire hangers in the home.
Mcnabb should come ou and give the rules.
Willis is immense.
ian actually fell asleep on the couch. i was allowing alex to stay up but my wife put her foot down. we will have to lobby for the super bowl.
what is teejay yelling about?
Comcast kept cutting to commercial during the last minute of the game.
While the game was, you know, being played.
Bronko nagurski would approve of the seemingly sudden resurgence of polish football players. They're everywhere.
carlos rogers dropped a sure pick. never thought i'd see that.
on second thought, dave's kids really aren't missing anything
FUCK YOU COMCAST
get out of here-- this game is wonderful in its ability to produce a stomach-ache. both teams combined are 2 for 25 on third down.
peyton manning has taken a beating.
and by peyton i meant eli. this game is driving me crazy.
godsend. but i still doubt the giants will convert.
Kyle Williams, suicide watch.
shouldn't you kick the field goal? now?
hooray! and all you redskins fans can gloat as well . . .
ream of destiny
Jerry, Dave...congrats.
Comcast/Xfinity...go choke on a bag of dicks.
Pam Oliver...that's some deep shit. "What is it like when it's you..it's your foot..."
I don't get nearly as worked up as I used to, but I seriously felt like I was going to puke for the past 2 hours. That was grueling. Holy crap. That's fantastic.
The skins could use a guy like devin Thomas.
Jimmy Johnson just praised coughlin for his consistency. I guess they were consistent in their inconsistency?
Looks like I won't be going to work tomorrow. And yeah, I'll be a Dad. This is some crazy shit.
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