Oh, the humanity.
The final score was 74-59, and it could have been much worse. Give the Johnnies credit, they came out in the second half and looked like the Showtime Lakers to our QVC Tribe. Our lads were overmatched, and it was an ugly twenty minutes of play, especially juxtaposed with the first half. While the jury remains a bit out as to how we'll do against our adversaries in the CAA, on this night God'sgift, Sir'Dominic, Nurideen, and the rest of the Tom, Dick, and Harrys on the Red Storm stole our lunch.
Teej was right, the SJU names are outstanding. But we have some terrible, awful nicknames that just might rival their God'sgiven names.
So how'd the Tribe really do? Well, Julian "Six Months in a Leaky" Boatner looked both sharp and tough early on, hitting shots and shaking off a busted lip without a second thought. Later, he looked like he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a...well, you know. Kendrix Brown "Haze" had a fairly solid game, only getting caught up in the Red House crosstown traffic a couple of times, and Quinn McDowell thanked the Medicine Woman and shook off his meniscus injury to appear to be in midseason form.
On the less pleasing side of the night, Brandon "She's a" Britt "and I'm Drowning Slowly" was a huge chucker, hurling ill-advised shots up a-plenty and turning the ball over four times. Freshman Marcus "Every Rose Has Its" Thornton looked thoroughly...freshman-like, with his sad, sad song of 1-5 shooting, a couple of momentum changing/worsening charges, and an eyebrow-raising 7 turnovers. Meanwhile, Matt "Red" Rum's game mirrored the team's: calm and smooth early on thanks to Tony, then the creepy twin dead girls showed up, it was a bloodbath, and the team went ice cold, baffled by the wintry maze of SJU defenders. Our big men seemed to miss their injured mates, as Andrew Pavloff left us hungry for more and Fred Heldring...Fred...Heldring...dammit...
Okay, recap's over, nickname contest for Fred Heldring in the comments! First prize is a bottle of you know what from you know whom.
NEEDS LABELS!!!
ReplyDelete/yelling at self, since I posted it
Pavloff left you drooling for more. C'mon Igor.
ReplyDeleteGODDAMIT IGOR...stop putting two spaces after periods.
ReplyDeleteIt's gotta be Fred "Van" Heldring, right?
ReplyDeleteHey Igor, I haven't seen any "6-10" comment from you of late on those Redskins.
ReplyDeletePraying for 4-12 now, are we?
That was a very Igor game recap.
ReplyDeleteFred "not to be confused with Richard Belding" Heldring
ReplyDeleteZman, considered that but went for subtle and less man-lovey.
ReplyDeleteTeej, 6-10 seems like a pipe dream.
Danimal, that was where I was headed with Heldring but I couldn't really make it work.
RIP Joe Frazier.
ReplyDeleteAre we supposed to pretend to be surprised when Oregon beats the piss out of Stanford this Saturday night?
ReplyDeleteIgor, you couldn't pull out "Van" Helding but you managed the incredibly stretched BFF reference?
ReplyDeleteHow about "Lord of the" Heldring?
Fred "The Mayor" Heldring
ReplyDeleteHeldring, The Foe Hammer!!
ReplyDeleteFred Heldring "and the angry inch"
ReplyDeletei like squeaky's
ReplyDeletefred 'when the' heldring 'is beasthoven getting back on the court'
Fred "I'm In" Heldring "King Mrs. Tell"
ReplyDeleteFred Heldring "O in higher regard before he starred in 'Caveman'"
ReplyDeleteOr just F-Hel
ReplyDeleteThe Fred-lowship of the Heldring .....yikes. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteSuck it, Haynesworth.
ReplyDeleteFred "Highway to" Heldring
ReplyDeletei think i'll put sandusky in my death pool for 2011.
ReplyDeleteHaynesworth: waived.
ReplyDeletedanimal, ABE VIGODA
ReplyDeleteGreg, those jokes might work in Anchorage, but not here pal.
ReplyDeletealabama/auburn doc on espn followed by the chris herron doc on dvr. good times.
ReplyDeleteGo back to Disney, tiny.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I have held my tongue on this, but Jerry Sandusky can go die a fucking fiery death. Fuck you, asshole.
ReplyDeleteDanimal, is it not 2011 now?
ReplyDeletecompletely concur on sandusky. and the moral failure of the entire university's leadership, including joepa, is staggering.
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously, kid touchers are the fucking scum of the earth. anyone at penn state who ignored this, and trust me I read the 40 page AG report and know who, should be fired.
ReplyDeleteand yep, joepa be on that list.
Twitter be fun tonight, y'all...
ReplyDeleteigor - yes, it is 2011 currently. i say he kills himself before the ball drops.
ReplyDeletepoignant & sad here....rob, i'm sure you've read it already but whatever.
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/cckbwx9
The thing I'm confused about are the Penn State "fans" who are staging pep rallies at Paterno's house. What are you people rooting for? Him? The football team? The university? Now is not the time to take pride in JoePa or the university. You can root for the team, but an inpromptu show of support for the coach is a poor decision at the very least.
ReplyDeleteHe should be bounced now. The severity of the crimes outweight any need for a graceful exit.
And as the father of two boys, this news makes me angrier than you could imagine. Stories like this hit home with a greater intensity when you have kids. Assuming the allegations are true, I would like to read a story about Sandusky's corpse hanging from a noose.
I read that Grantland Weinreb column too, d'animal. I cannot take PSU seriously as an academic institution given that Paterno still has a job. I've known some of you guys for almost 20 years and consider you to be great friends ... but if I ever caught you molesting a little kid in a locker room I'd call the cops. Paterno didn't and that's atrocious. He needs to go.
ReplyDeletei'm really torn on my opinion of mcqueary in all this. i'd like to believe that i'd have screamed holy hell and made sandusky stop if i were in mcqueary's shoes, but that's an impossible hypothetical. kid was a junior staffer who likely held sandusky in awe and probably was completely unprepared to process what he saw. i get people's reaction to mcqueary's failure, but i feel very sorry for him - he must relive that moment every day.
ReplyDeletethe mighty mighty bosstones were right about this one. glad i haven't yet.