The decision by Abdullah Abdullah to resign from the run-off in Afghanistan has dealt a crushing blow to advocates of doubly named entities worldwide. When this news broke, Mister Mister was devastated. As early trailblazers for equality, their cause now suffers from broken wings. Same for Duran Duran, who blamed the new moon on Monday for the decision.Also upset is Sirhan Sirhan, who feels he now has no shot at parole, and Rochelle Rochelle, who has been looking for new adventures since completing her strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
Major Major Major Major is bummed as well.
ReplyDeletehow 'bout richard dick, our old principle at jwhs - and no, that is not a joke. furthermore, his wife's name was anita. also...not a joke.
ReplyDeleteduany duany is heartbroken that you forgot about him him.
ReplyDeleteLisa Lisa could not be reached for comment.
ReplyDeleteAs has been noted in this space before, I went to high school with a kid named Richard Dick.
ReplyDeleteboutros boutros dropped the ghali in protest
ReplyDeleteGod (Sham)god has next.
ReplyDeleteAnd once Yo Yo is done with Zoltan's Ma he wants in on this.
ReplyDeleteWilliam Carlos Williams just added another Carlos to his name.
ReplyDeleteAnd did you know???? Rob's rap name in college was DJ Robbie Robb.
Willie Williams felt a tinge of angst but then realized it was just heartburn.
ReplyDeleteRobbie Robertson wrote a song about it. It's called "Up, Up on Cripple Cripple Creek Creek."
ReplyDeletethey don't call whitney stretch just because of his height
ReplyDeleteIt's because I like to stretch out before running 10k's and such. I'm a stickler!
ReplyDeletevery strange...just received an email from one of the investment guys in the office i send very little money to...his name? Scotty Scott - i crap you negative.
ReplyDeleteCam Cameron threw a hissy fit in protest. Then, he asked if we saw what Tedd Ginn jr. did yesterday with more than a hint of self satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteI quickly reminded him that he led an NFL football franchise to a 1 win season. He's going to be quiet for a while now.
The West Division of our college fantasy league is mediocrity at its finest.
ReplyDeletethe great stephen root slipped back into character to note that jimmy james' name came from the beastie boys song.
ReplyDeleteour league has divisions? with geographical distinctions?
ReplyDeleteThat's what the standings tell me.
ReplyDeleteI was tearing that league up. Unfortunately, the magic and majesty of Todd Reesing has deserted me when I need him most. If I had started Landry Jones the past two weeks I would've won both games. Especially painful since I lost to Vitas, of all people, by one damn point.
ReplyDeleteTo make you even more bummed out, as of early Sunday morning you two were tied...yet when I checked back last night he had mysteriously earned one more point to garner the win.
ReplyDeletemy season went the way of dez bryant. i still can't believe you fuckers punished me for eating lunch with deion sanders.
ReplyDeleteDon't want to hear it. I lost Michael Floyd and Rob Gronkowski in the first 3 weeks of the season.
ReplyDeletei haven't mentioned taylor potts, ricky dobbs, armando allen, and the other assortment of nameless dipshits that have rotated through my roster. i can't believe i paid teejay $100 to be in this league.
ReplyDeleteYeah...I can't believe I paid $100 for that league either. Or the $100 I paid for fantasy basketball.
ReplyDeleteHow do you think I bought all those Skymall gifts?
ReplyDeleteI took today off and have not done much other than watch episodes of the original V mini-series on the recently rebranded SyFy channel.
ReplyDeleteI know TR recently made mention of Marc Singer's role in this opus, but what about Michael Ironsides. He has my hairline, really bad skin, and plays basically the same character he did in Top Gun, yet somehow, he is one of the two leading roles.
Additionally, some of the Visitors, especially anybody who has a minor roll and will soon get killed, are really ugly. Not just 80's bad hair ugly, but really unattractive. If you were race of lizard people looking to take over earth, why would you make some of your masks really f'ing ugly? Is it somehow based on their lizard attractiveness?
I think I need to get out of the house.
I knew there were lots more, but this whole stupid "you have to do work all day" policy got in the way of me efforting more. Bummter.
ReplyDeleteYou guys added some good ones to the mix.
"Bummter" is German for "bummer".
ReplyDeleteAs in, Augustus Gloop thought it was a real bummter when his mother told himhe had to finish his strudel before he could eat any Black Forest cake.
In college football fantasy news, Syracuse WR Mike Williams quit the team today. For anybody keeping track, that's bow makes it 3 for 3 of my top 3 receiving options being out for the year. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIsn't Alanis Morrisette Canadian?
ReplyDeletei'll take non-sequiturs for $100, alex
ReplyDeleteShe sang the national anthem tonight, tiny.
ReplyDeletemccarver says cliff lee is a different pitcher with the phils than he was with the indians. with no explanation. i call bullshit.
ReplyDeleteno, you misunderstand me. i was playing along with the home version of jeopardy.
ReplyDeleteIt's spelled "Morissette," Mayhew. You oughta know.
ReplyDeleteAJ is aboutbto bleed though his pad. Get him out.
ReplyDeleteHonorable mention:
ReplyDeleteBoutrous Boutrous Gali
Reuben Boumtje Boumtje
Alanis Morisette is Canadian and did date Dave Coullier and half of the 91 Maple Leafs. She will go down on you in a theatre, you oughta know.
Speaking of non-sequitors, do you all share my hatred for those investment ads where they turn live actors into animation for no reason at all? I'll hang up and listen to your answers.
ReplyDeleteNick Swisher dates Joanna Garcia...worth a googling. Your wives and daughters and Swints might remember her from the short lived CW offering Privileged and a 3 episode arc on Gossip Girl.
ReplyDeletei quite enjoy the cartoonization of commercial actors. i'd like more people to be cartoonized.
ReplyDeleteAlanis Morisette also dated Ryan Reynolds. She outkicked her coverage there.
ReplyDeleteJoanna Garcia also played the chick with tourettes in Not Another Teen Movie.
Those commercials are poop.
Rob, you should probably go suck a bag of dicks...
ReplyDeletethose available on skymall?
ReplyDeleteYeah. You can either get the brown paper bag with them all sticking out of the top like french baguettes or the gallon freezer bag with them all vacuum packed in there like chicken tenders.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get a chance to comment on my tele-kinetics gift in the previous post, but it's oddly appropriate.
ReplyDeleteLittle known Jerry trivia: Junior year in HS we had to do a half day per week in a "work" environment. I chose something called the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research Lab. Their goal was to prove that brain waves can affect tangible object. My job was to help them. So I sat in a dark room and watched a pendulum. I had to spend 15 minutes trying to make it swing further to the right, 15 to the left, and 15 doing nothing. Then I had to record the results. Then I went to Hoagie Haven and got a cheesesteak, a brownie, and a Snapple. One day I went and bought the Doggystyle tape at a "record store"
The End.
Jerry makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteAnd Geoff steals jokes.
Islanders win again.
ReplyDeletePaci is unimpressed.
later, george clooney portrayed young on the silver screen. pendulums were changed to goats for a number of obvious reasons.
ReplyDeletethat should read 'young jerry'. stupid fingers.
ReplyDeleteI'm available to transcribe Louis CK's whole act for a nominal fee.
ReplyDeleteIslanders are damaging their draft position.
ReplyDeleteIt's Morissette, Maehyoo. 1 r, 2 s's, 2 t's. Isn't it ironic?
ReplyDeleteTR, please respond to my email to you. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteWhitney, stop begging people to talk to you.
ReplyDeleteMark txt me pls!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMatt Stairs is going to have to start working out if he wants to make an impact in that hockey league.
ReplyDeleteJust got home from Springsteen @ Verizon Center.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome, of course.
And a few observations to share:
1. It's an elderly crowd. I know I'm old too, but I don't look that old, do I?
2. Bruce is in GREAT shape--he looks incredible & still runs around the stage area like he's 25. He even crowd-surfed.
3. The "requests" segment is too cool--the catalogue is so huge, they could easily do a 10 hour show of just requests and people would love it.
Totally worth the $100.
I'm so glad Jerry enjoyed my gift.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, if I don't get a replacement blackberry soon I am going to lose my mind...sitting at home having to text some of you boobs instead of commenting here is killing me. And giving me carpal tunnel.
The key elements of a great bowl of oatmeal are as follows:
ReplyDelete1) Drop some raisins in there and give them a few minutes to moisten up and get juicy. If the oatmeal is hot, it can stand for 5-10 minutes without cooling off that much. That's plenty of time for the raisins.
2) A healthy dash of cinnamon.
as a 2-3 day/wk oatmeal consumer, brown sugar is my go-to, with the occasional banana slice topping. duly noted on the raisins. when adding brown sugar, i shriek "brown shoogar!" a la Mike and the Stones.
ReplyDeletei mean mick.
ReplyDeleteDan - do you have a son named Declan?
ReplyDeleteyes - do tell.
ReplyDeleteSo is A.J. Burnett more Kevin Brown...or Javier Vazquez? Either way, I do not want to see him on the mound again during this World Series, and if (god forbid) Girardi brings him in again I assure you he will bungle whatever situation he was brought in to fix.
ReplyDeleteTR showing his NAMBLA tendencies again.
ReplyDeleteyeah, i'm beginning to get a littler nervous.
ReplyDeleteA) how do you know my son's name?
B) why do you ask?
C) have you ever done time?
I'll be buying myself this for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteMy son has the same name, and I remembered you mentioning it somewhere before. I just forgot to ask. It's unusual to have two dads among a group of 20 or so folks use the same name, when that name is about the 500th most popular name. That's all.
ReplyDeletecopy that...yes a rare name here in the U.S. but am finding more & more peeps using it, likely b/c you and i chose to.
ReplyDeletehis handle is Declanimal - with mine being Danimal
Well, you two ARE both enormous Elvis Costello fans.
ReplyDeleteDeclanimal, huh? I call mine D-bag. The wife is not a big fan of that one.
ReplyDeleteyes whitney...actually shot around the idea w/wife of naming him elvis, but she wasn't having it.
ReplyDeleteI am truly inspired by this online journal! Extremely clear clarification of issues is given and it is open to every living soul. I have perused your post, truly you have given this extraordinary informative data about it. Juara Poker
ReplyDelete