Quick, someone get rob some air...

Purple squirrel baffles experts

A purple squirrel which appeared at a school has baffled experts who are unable to explain its colour. Teachers and pupils at Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hants, were amazed when they saw the creature through the window during a lesson.

Since the squirrel, now nicknamed Pete rob, was first seen, it has become a regular fixture at the school but no one has been able to say whether the animal has fallen into purple paint, had a run-in with some purple dye, or whether there is another explanation.

Lorraine Orridge, the school's registrar, believes Pete's coloured fur looks like a school uniform. She said: "We don't think he is a mutant squirrel but he may have had a mishap around the school."

Perhaps rob is not in fact gasping for air, but instead didn't listen and ate a tainted piece of Three-Course-Dinner Gum. Yeah, that's it. Mr. Wonka is gonna be pissed.