Rage From the Machine

I came here in high goddamn dudgeon, friends. I thought I'd grown inured to the daily barrage of insults and outrages that serve as the incessant droning background music of our time. I believed that I could get momentarily annoyed, then find a cat photo or a new Chvrches tune and modulate my righteous anger.

But the reaction by both the right-wing nutfactory and the supposedly impartial D.C. political press to Michelle Wolf's commentary at the White House Correspondents' Dinner was a perfect encapsulation of the sickness of our era and the media elite's complicity in it. And it's fucking pissed me off all day.

For those that (blessedly, for certain) don't live in this region's toxic bubble of handjobbery and mendacity, the right/media axis are shocked, shocked that Wolf attacked White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders' looks. Here's a sampling of the indignantly purple tweetprose:

There are lot more where those came from. And here's what Wolf actually said about Sanders:

"And, of course, we have Sarah Huckabee Sanders. We're graced with Sarah's presence tonight. I have to say I'm a little star-struck. I love you as Aunt Lydia in "The Handmaid's Tale."

Mike Pence, if you haven't seen it, you would love it.

Every time Sarah steps up to the podium, I get excited because I'm not really sure what we're going to get: you know, a press briefing, a bunch of lies or divided into softball teams. "It's shirts and skins, and this time, don't be such a little b----, Jim Acosta."

I actually really like Sarah. I think she's very resourceful. Like, she burns facts, and then she uses the ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Like, maybe she's born with it; maybe it's lies.

It's probably lies.

And I'm never really sure what to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders. You know, is it Sarah Sanders? Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders? Is it Cousin Huckabee? Is it Auntie Huckabee Sanders? Like, what's Uncle Tom but for white women who disappoint other white women? Oh, I know: Aunt Coulter."

Vulture.com has a better, less pissed off discussion of the matter, if you care.

I don't think the media is actually that angry about Wolf's comments regarding Sanders. What really has them pissed off is a different portion of the speech. You can find an annotated transcript here, if you care.

"There's a lot of print media here. There's a ton of you guys, but I'm not going to go after print media tonight because it's illegal to attack an endangered species.

Buy newspapers.

There's a ton of news right now; a lot is going on, and we have all these 24-hour news networks, and we could be covering everything. But, instead, we're covering like three topics. Every hour, it's Trump, Russia, Hillary and a panel of four people who remind you why you don't go home for Thanksgiving.

“Milk comes from nuts now, all 'cause of the gays.”

You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you used to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you. He couldn't sell steaks or vodka or water or college or ties or Eric, but he has helped you.

He's helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster, and now you're profiting off of him. And if you're gonna profit off of Trump, you should at least give him some money because he doesn't have any."

The reason the D.C. press corps is pissed today? Michelle Wolf fucking nailed them, dead to rights, in a place they don't talk about at cocktail parties. Because they're at those parties with the same people they're supposed to cover impartially, sucking down fancy whiskey and stroking their egos and raising money for their kids' schools, and kissing up for access, which is, at the end of the day, the coin of the realm for the strivers inside the bubble. It's a fine way to make a living.

But it's a fucking horrible way to inform a nation about its leaders.

Most of the bubblepress spent the day talking about this issue. Very few of them made much mention of the final line of Wolf's speech, which was, simply, "Flint still doesn't have clean water." The media's reaction proved she was right, in 72-point all caps.

If I sound pissed and bitter and resigned, it's because I am. The press is supposed to be the eyes and ears for all of us. It's supposed to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. In so many places around our world, it does just that. I work with some amazing people who are uncovering incredible stories about injustice, criminality, innovation, and human interest around the globe. But in the place where it may matter more than any other right now, the press is failing us.

But at least they can get a good table at Le Diplomate.