Not all of us can turn our natural abilities into financial gain, as nice as that might be. Now, though, through the miracle of modern science, one of us is well on his way to a gilded existence.
According to a recent Washington Post article, the local sanitation utility, D.C. Water, is now in the business of selling human poop as fertilizer.
TR just struck brown gold.
D.C. Water's not just selling human waste, they've created two different branded offerings designed to appeal to diverse markets. Fresh Bloom is a less-processed offering, with a gummy consistency, while Cured Bloom is sun-dried and turned, offering users a more soil-like experience.
As you might imagine, reaction to the Bloom product line has been mixed. Lidia Epp, a New Kent, VA-based biologist goes full alarmist, "This is Flint, Michigan, happening everywhere in the country in slow motion."
Sunday morning in TR's backyard |
That 'if' is doing a lot of work in that sentence, but as one who tends to fall on the side of modern institutions generally doing the right thing, for fear of crippling lawsuits and public approbation if for no other reason, I lean towards Brower's point of view. (And I'm conscious of how much work 'generally' is doing in that sentence - Wells Fargo says 'hello'.)
I lean in that direction in large part because I've used processed human poop on my own lawn without negative consequence. Without positive consequence, too, for what it's worth. The locally sourced pelletized poop was inoffensive in smell and appearance, but didn't do much for my lawn. I'm sure my lack of attention to the grass played no role.
Watch this space for news about the G:TB-sponsored Kickstarter campaign to fund launch of TR-branded bags of poop. Next step, profit.
fyi - no elitism here nor has there been. in fact...haven't done a triathlon in some time. the only race I'm competing in now is to 230 against whit.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt you're winning that one.
ReplyDelete#230byTurkeyDay
#230 is the new #420?
ReplyDeleteI took a dump on TR's lawn at around 2 am on Sunday and his grass looks great.
The famous Hungarian toilet trout
ReplyDeleteWhy do I read the news any more? Self-loathing?
ReplyDeleteI mean...
http://theweek.com/speedreads/721669/some-trump-supporters-apparently-think-obama-president-during-hurricane-katrina
the russian bots are getting a lot smarter
ReplyDeleteI thought #69 was the new #420.
ReplyDeleteLast night while at my FFL draft I got a calendar invite from my wife, '6 Couples - Price is Right Worcester MA'. I quickly accepted it and thought nothing of it thanks to a few too many beers.
Turns out we are not going to some kind of swingers party but an actual taping of the game show The Price is Right when it is in Worcester. I hope they serve booze.
Knowing what I know about Team Squeaky I would, without hesitation, set the odds of your wife bringing you to a swingers party at exactly 0%. She might bring me, but not you.
ReplyDeleteThey did that traveling Price is Right here in Norfolk like 6 months ago. Some friends dressed as the cast of Gilligan's Island and went. They didn't get on the show. I told them I thought Let's Make a Deal was the dress-up game show, but they said tons of people were in costume.
ReplyDeleteSqueaky, come up with a theme for your group.
Also, are you blaming your bad draft on being unnerved when you thought your wife had signed you up for a key party?
ReplyDeleteWife won't even go with Zman. I wish I could blame my crappy draft on that but I'm to blame for not printing out a list to bringing with me.
ReplyDeleteWhen you think of feces, think of TR!
ReplyDeleteWait. What?
This may be the liquor speaking as we clear the fridge ahead of going home tmrw, but the new Arcade Fire album is the shit. Everything Now sounds like ABBA, w/ a dash of Roxette. That checks a lot of guilty pleasures.
ReplyDeleteI like all their stuff that the bookish hipsters seem to not like, while not liking what those nerds like.
tr went straight to the comments and never read the post. sad!
ReplyDeleteI liked TR's comment.
ReplyDeleteyou always did dig roxette
ReplyDeletewasn't that nelson's freshman girlfriend's middle name? we should ask charlie.
ReplyDeleteI read what you dumped on us about feces, Robbie. Comment 12 clearly shows that. Fake news lying again!
ReplyDeleteJanie Hott was her name. Her middle name I don't recall. Ask charlie.
ReplyDeleteterrible effort by me. i'll work harder.
ReplyDeletei recall that it was janie roxy hott, but that may just be the story talking. i'll ask charlie.
ReplyDeleteSharapova is back on prime time. All is well in the world again.
ReplyDeleteI had a high school friend who took pride in showing us Roxette's You Got the Look video (which he had on VCR) b/c you could freeze-frame a concert shot and see sideboob/sidenipple. Life was different 27 yrs ago.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it was, TR. Scrambled cable scanning for a shot at a nipple. Pathetic. But that' was life in the 80's.
ReplyDeleteBeeeadgers down 10 to Utah St, quarter 2. Football.
ReplyDeleteIs that both leather and lace that Sharova worked into her garb? She's a little tomcat.
Sonia Kenin's toss is ugly. It looks like how I image Lonzo Ball's service motion.
ReplyDeleteLeather and lace and sparkles. Gotta love that Russian sensibility.
ReplyDeletenow imagining lonzo ball's service motion.
ReplyDeleteExcellent cross-sport reference, z
ReplyDeleteI would be more excited, Danimal, but I got excited by Hoosiers-Buckeyes last night, which proved uneventful. But Utah State looks much more potent on offense tonight.
ReplyDeleteMore shocking is Rutgers feigning competence against Washington.
I just politely told the bartender I know he's pouring Johnny Red from his Johnny Black bottle. He did not receive it well and blamed it on Summer weather at the outside bar. But Johnny Red is shite. Little upside in pushing the issue, but what he's pouring has no caramel and no smoke to it. Bollocks.
sharapova looks like an extra from the 'rhythm nation' video.
ReplyDeleteWatch Kenin serve. Is Lonzonian. No one would ever teach someone to toss the ball like that.
ReplyDeleteJust got my own out of office message from my GTB comment. #gheorgheception
ReplyDeletethe toss is okay, although a bit too vertical, but the footwork post-toss seems odd. she has the toss of a six-footer, even though she's...not.
ReplyDeleteand sharapova's gonna kill her
ReplyDeleteYou have to see it from behind or in front. The left arm crosses her body on the toss and releases it on the right side of her head. I have no idea how she gets the left shoulder out of the way to bring the right shoulder through. It's remarkably awkward and inefficient.
ReplyDeleteSharapova's serve is a model of efficiency. ESPN does tennis poorly but occasionally you'll get good complete coverage of a serve.
ReplyDeletethat last sentence reminds me of something
ReplyDeleteof the previous comment, obvs
ReplyDelete'maria likes rhythm, and she likes pace'. noted.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't like awkward and inefficient.
ReplyDeletekenin hammers the ball. if she could serve...
ReplyDeleteNo pace, short balls. Sounds familiar.
ReplyDeleteIt's Maria. Miss Sharapova if ya nasty.
ReplyDeleteKinda cool of Maria to embrace her heel turn. If she plays with heart, the crowd will back her. But not against an American.
ReplyDeletemark saw kendrick tonight, didn't he? hope we get a review.
ReplyDeleteIs it okay for a man to think things like "Cool. CiCi Bellis is 18 now?"
ReplyDeleteAsking on behalf of Marls. Thx.
CiCi's dad would probably say no.
ReplyDeleteUnrelated - the Colts traded a long snapper (Thomas Hennessy) a couple days ago. That bodes well for former Tribe LB Luke Rhodes. He was a final cut for the Bucs last year, but caught on w/ the Colts late in the season and played a few games. He has tried to add long-snapping to his bag of tricks. Would be good to see him chase Mike Leach's legacy.
ReplyDelete"Maria does not like low balls or short balls."
ReplyDeleteSorry, Z.
You got long balls Larry.
ReplyDeleteKen in' some barely an American. Born in Moscow! And she desparately needs a fashion consultant.
ReplyDeleteBig night for Hornibrook.
Long ball Larry!!!
ReplyDeleteI did see Kendrick tonight. Dope show. More to come soon.
Cowboys filing appeal on Ezekiel Elliott suspension that says it "will cause the Cowboys irreparable harm." I'm biased against that degenerate franchise, but come on. That's a defense? He put hands on a woman multiple times. That he can't play a kids' game for millions of dollars means we aren't quite evolved enough that he isn't being flogged publicly.
ReplyDelete@sethabramson is a must read today (or whenever, you're adults) for the Trump/Russia story...written entirely in tweets and with links to other branches of the story. If you had the time and interest, it's a probably a half day worth of reading. The tweets only though requires about 30 min and is worth some of your Sat morning. How anyone can be his advocate, blood relation or not, is bewildering. I think most have always questioned his moral fiber but rarely, pre-candidacy anyway, did we hear about his intellect, or at least I didn't. I'll forego using the word that goes best here to avoid offense, but he is seriously mentally challenged. He is a fucking idiot.
ReplyDeleterequire
ReplyDeleteI am going to get some exercise. And then I might go get a fresh bottle of Tito's and Zing Zang. Happy Saturday bitches.
ps - will be a bit more difficult to root against UVa today, but not impossible.
you're a good man, danimal, regardless of what whitney says
ReplyDeleteHey, Conrad Dobler, watch youraelf
ReplyDeleteMaybe Brady wouldn't have been suspended if he hit women with footballs instead of deflating them. Sharapova, who is a woman, was suspended two years for accidentally taking a banned substance. They later reduced the ban to fifteen months. Different sports but these punishments seems wildly disparate.
ReplyDeleteConvicted contract killer Rae Carruth gets out next October. If he's in prison shape, Jerry Jones will surely come a-callin'. I'm sure Carruth has caught a lot of balls in the joint.
ReplyDeleteAccidentally? You're kidding, right, Zman? That was intentional doping fo sho.
ReplyDeleteRead this: https://www.google.com/amp/deadspin.com/i-doped-like-maria-sharapova-and-it-was-actually-pretty-1798352480/amp
The Abramson stuff on Twitter is fascinating, but for fuck's sake, find a better delivery method than 200 tweets.
ReplyDeleteOk. Intentional doping. Still wildly disparate.
ReplyDeleteHow the hell is Carruth getting out of jail? Not cool. He and OJ should get their own reality show.
ReplyDeleteTerrapins 30 Longhorns 14 at half. At Texas.
ReplyDeleteIn under 7 hours we board a plane for Scotland. GIDDY UP
ReplyDeleteLess than 7 hours ago, I boarded a plane for Newark. I walked into my house at the end of its pre-renovation demolition. It was...unsettling.
ReplyDeleteThe Terps look pretty solid. Every time UT gets it close, they strike back w a TD. Though it is possible UT's D sucks.
ReplyDeleteI can't handle actual talented opponents to start the CFB season.
ReplyDeleteNor can the Gators, apparently.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Offense is a shitshow. Again. As someone who cut his Gator teeth with Spurrier, this is especially cruel.
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel any better, the tribe's offense was pretty dismal today, too. as someone who cut his teeth with vintage laycock, this is especially cruel.
ReplyDelete