You'd Think Jason Kidd Would Be Able to Drive Drunk

Jason Kidd is regarded as one of the best passing and rebounding point guards in NBA history. He is second all-time in the categories of assists and steals (behind John Stockton in both categories). He led the NBA five times in assists, and his 107 triple-doubles leave him behind only Oscar Robinson and Magic Johnson. As his career progressed, he even learned to shoot from outside. This isn't news to anyone, but I'd just like to review the facts: Jason Kidd is a gifted athlete with astounding reflexes and keen peripheral vision. He also has an uncanny ability to judge how moving objects are going to behave. If anyone could drive drunk, it would be him. But, obviously, this is not the case, as he just received probation for  a DWI incident where he ran a Cadillac into a utility pole.

Now I'm not espousing drunk driving, but if I were going to let anyone who'd had a few too many suds get behind the wheel and drive me around, it would be Jason Kidd. Think of his vision! Over 12,000 assists! As a requirement of his sentence, Kidd has to talk to Long Island high school kids about the perils of drunk driving, and I think he should use the aforementioned tack. If he can't drive drunk, then who can?

The crash still boggles my mind, and I wonder if there was some other element at play. Perhaps he was drugged, or maybe someone fouled him as he went into the turn. I think I would still trust him to drive me around, even if he was a little tipsy. The man made nearly 2000 three pointers! There's something fishy about that utility pole. Or maybe I'm just an idiot.

Still . . . though it might not be logical and responsible, there are certain folks who you trust to do a good job, even if they've knocked back a few adult beverages. The Replacements could still put on a great rock show, even if they were three sheets to it. Drunk, sober, or hungover . . . Mickey Mantle could still swat one out of Yankee Stadium. Rob will play a mean game of zoom (have one) at the OBFT, even though he can't walk a straight line. I'll be slurring my words, but I can still throw a dart or a beanbag with deadly accuracy. And despite being well over the legal limit, Clarence will drink you under the table.

What am I trying to say here? I'm not sure. Should we have drunk-driving road tests, to ascertain who is allowed to drink and drive, and who is not? That's probably not a good idea, although that road course (and affiliated bar) would be a fun place to hang out. I guess this incident is just a reminder that things aren't always as they appear, and they are even less so when we are drunk. I really thought that girl I was talking to was cute. And for a few moments, late at night, in that college bar -- she was!