Final Four Saturday is without a doubt one of my top 5 favorite days of the year. I made my sister reschedule her wedding because it was going to conflict with Final Four Saturday (Luckily, she just hadn't realized this and once alerted to i, took no convincing in deciding to pick another wedding date). The entire Final Four, but especially the National Semifinals Saturday, is a great showcase for basketball. And, sometimes you even end up with some really entertaining games on the biggest of stages (If pressed I think I'd say my favorite Semifinal of the last decade or so was the Duke-Maryland semi in 2001).
Sadly, the arrival of the Final Four means college basketball is concluding and the shitbird known as baseball is upon us. (Yaaay! 200 consecutive nights of Baseball Tonight! Shoot me, please.) Each year, when this realization hits me, I do two things. First, I drink heavily and look for guys who look like Buster Olney to sucker punch. After that, I drink some more and reflect (like some kind of gay) upon the tournament that has passed. Evidently, I made some notes whilst doing this and from those notes I have compiled the official list of 2009 G:TB All-NCAA Tournament teams.
All-G:TB Team: This team consists of players whom we here at Gheorghe: The Blog love the most. (I have consulted a committee consisting of myself on all of these choices.)
G: Jonny Flynn (Syracuse)- Probably my favorite player in the country. He takes the ball to the hoop fearlessly and provided great leadership for a very good Syracuse team. If he stays another year he'll end up as a lottery pick.
G: Toney Douglas (FSU)- You know a guy is good if he plays at FSU and I like him. Just an assassin.
G: Eric Maynor (VCU)- The best floater in college basketball comes from probably the craftiest player in college basketball.
F: Chris Johnson (LSU)- The Tigers get more big, long, freaks of nature than any other school...by a wide margin. Must be something in the water in Lousiana. I mean, besides herpes.
F: Blake Griffin (Oklahoma)- The best player in the nation, obviously, but what gets him on this team are his ferocious dunks, non-stop motor (he must get the motor from him Mom...I kid.) and the way he keeps his mouth shut and plays ball.
6th Man: Trevon Hughes (Wisconsin)- He was already on this team, for obvious reasons, but then he went and knocked FSU out of the tournament with a ridiculous and 1 at the end OT. Thanks buddy.
G:TB All-Ugly Team: A collection of guys so ugly that they can never be allowed to all be in the same room at the same time.
G: Austin Johnson (Oklahoma)- It was already pretty bad for young Mr. Johnson but that awful mohawk was the icing on the cake.
G: Greivis Vasquez (Maryland)- You've seen this guy. Do I even have to say anything?
F: Demarre Carroll (Missouri)- It's fun to say somebody looks like the Predator, but even Cheryl Miller is scared of this guy.
F: Kyle Singler (Duke)- He's so pale even TJ and Greg feel bad for this guy. And why doesn't his hair lay down? If I met him on the street I'd be tempted to ask him where his helmet is.
F: Al-Farouq Aminu (Wake Forest)- The runaway MVP of this team. When I see him, I reminded of one of my Grandmother's favorite phrases: "He's so ugly his Mama had to tie a pork chop around his neck just to get the dog to play with him". I miss Grandma.
6th Man: Tyler Hansbrough (UNC)- Hyper. Gay. Muppet.
G:TB All-Old Team: Pretty self-explanatory, guys who look like they're Rob and Whitney's age.G: Tyshawn Taylor (Kansas)- Making this team is quite an accomplishment for a freshman.
G: Tony Crocker (Oklahoma)- It's time for Tony to give it up and shave his head. And can I get a fucking explanation on the long sleeves? Please?
F: Sam Young (Pitt)- Not only does he look like's in his mid-30s, he also turned 24 in March. Meanwhile, a drunk like me graduated from grad school when I was 25. Nice work, Samuel.
F: Tyler Smith (Tennessee)- You don't run into a lot of guys with facial tattoos in college.
6th Man: Gary Wilkinson (Utah St.)- He's 26. And probably a virgin...
G:TB All-Burr High School Team. Burr went to high school with guys named Carter, Landry and Slater among others (Hi Slats!), and Burr's pretty much an elitist prick, so I imagine his high school like the prep school in School Ties...or maybe Dead Poets Society. Whatever. Anyway, this team is comprised of players who sound like they went to high school with Burr.
G: Garrison Carr (American)
G: Brady Morningstar (Kansas)
G: Connor Mullen (Cornell)
F: Micah Downs (Gonzaga)
F: Bryce Simon (American)
6th Man: DeJuan Blair...No...Just kidding. Can you imagine?
Well, thats it. You've got three more games of college basketball left and about another month before the NBA Playoffs really rev up. Lets hope we get at least one tight game tonight.
what did baseball ever do to you, mark?
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing Mark's reply will be "Two Words: Jim Bowden"
ReplyDeletethat's what i was hoping for
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of horrible people in baseball, how about Allen Iverson pulling a Derek Bell Operation Shutdown?
ReplyDeleteTotally agree TJ. I've lost a good deal of respect for Iverson through all this.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I don't think he realizes that he could add another 5 years to his career by embracing the gunner off the bench role. He could be the missing piece for a team that needed a 3rd scorer by coming off the bench and playing with the second unit guys. I could see him winning a couple 6th man awards and maybe even elevating a team to a championship in this role. It appears though that his ego will not allow for this possibility.
If Iverson can't adjust his game/mentality and understand he's not an elite player anymore (hasn't been in a few years) then he might as well retire.
ReplyDeleteI have strong dislike for UConn, so I will be pulling for Sparty tonight.
ReplyDeletePlus, I'd like to see Ad Hoc Jerry win the pool I'm in.
i have the same problem. i plan to shoot my way out of it.
ReplyDeletethey got tha beet.
ReplyDeleteAll games are one degree better when there's a guy wearing a mask.
ReplyDeleteif walton's hurt, it's trouble time for sparty.
ReplyDeleteuconn's led the country in blocks 7 years in a row? that's a little bit crazy. that matches up well with the fact that every one of izzo's 4-year players has made a final 4.
ReplyDeleteI think Okafor or Thabeet were on UConn's roster for 6 of those 7 years. When you consider how rare players that affect the game the way those two are in college absketball these days, its pretty amazing that Calhoun's gotten both of those guys.
ReplyDeleteLots of green shirts here in Ford Field. Some guy just asked us where Villanova is located.
ReplyDeleteWay to play to stereotypes, Michigan.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this line from Clark Kellog got me, "He's strong, he's aggressive and...he's not a very good free throw shooter."
Thabeet SMASH!
ReplyDeleteSorry, that didn't look clean in real time. Adrien threw a bow and knocked Walton down.
ReplyDeleteWe got tha beet we got tha beet
ReplyDeleteAJ Price is a top notch collegiate pg but I have real trouble seeing him being succesful in the pros. He's just an average athlete and he doesn't finish well in the lane. He'll probably end up being a backup in the NBA but I would not be the least bit surprised if he ended up spending most of his career in Europe.
ReplyDeleteDelvon Roe broke out the Kevin McHale starter kit on that last possession.
ReplyDeletelesson: s'mores and beer are two great tastes that taste dreadful together.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great Final Four for point guards. By my count there are 6 high level collegiate point guards involved in tonight's games. And, Travis Walton and Craig Austrie are pretty solid too.
ReplyDeleteQuite an interesting contrast of styles in this game.
ReplyDeleteAnd Kalin Lucas has really grown on me during this tournament. So smooth and always in control.
Someone flipped the switch on Stanley
ReplyDeletei really like watching robinson play.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you. Ever since I called him the collegiate Tim Thomas in early January he's become an all court monster. I take no credit for this, just pointing out that this transformation in Stanley has been a fairly recent development. And yes, I too enjoy his diversified game.
ReplyDeletemark's getting paid by the word this evening.
ReplyDeleteThat was a great offensive set that the Spartans just ran. All that was missing was Suton knocking down the 3.
ReplyDeleteok, we're even on flop charge calls.
ReplyDeleteAnd Rob's being paid by the inch. He's hoping to be able to buy himself some new lifts...outlook's doubtful on that though.
ReplyDeleteUConn's finally missing Jerome Dyson...
ReplyDeleteThat is some serious strength by Summers. Wow.
ReplyDeleteShlara's gonna tear up Detroit tonight, Robocop-style
ReplyDeleteKellog's right. Michigan State's halfcourt offense is terrific, especially in comparison to the jumbled mess that UConn is "running".
ReplyDeleteThe MSU fans are out of their minds. It's so loud in here. Cops already making their way down to the court
ReplyDeleteOh my, this game is over
ReplyDeleteUhh yeah. I did not see this coming.
ReplyDeletei'll never underestimate an izzo team again. as much as the big 10 was maligned this year, they've got some serious coaching talent - izzo, ryan, matta, carmody, painter, beilein...really good all the way through.
ReplyDeleteThe Spartans are carving UConn up. The Louisville game I kind of expected but this, in my opinion, has been even more impressive because UConn hasn't been dogshit today like Louisville was.
ReplyDeleteTravis Walton is a FAR better defensive player than I've ever realized or given him credit for.
so i just opened the fridge to get a beer and knocked an entire carton of eggs on the floor. eggs are assholes.
ReplyDeleteGo NOVA!!
ReplyDeletetoo much to ask for nova to win? i sure hope not.
ReplyDeleteGive me back that filet-o-fish
ReplyDeleteGive me that fish
give me back that filet-o-fish
ReplyDeletegive me that fish
carolina just has so many ways to beat you.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Mark on using Elton John for the post title. Come to think of it, I am seeing a lot of similarities between you two honky cats.
ReplyDeletefuuuuuuuck
ReplyDelete15 minutes left, Carolina's best 3 players each have 3 fouls, and Nova is firing up bad-looking threes each time down the court. Question to better basketball minds than mine -- wouldn't you adjust your game plan to try to get one or two of these guys to pick up fouls 4 and maybe 5?
ReplyDelete...and by "best 3," I didn't mean to discount Ellington, but Green's having a big game. One more quick foul and he's on the bench for 5+ minutes.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or are the refs totally biased and not calling any fouls in the paint on UNC?
ReplyDeleteit may be just you - not much is getting called on the interior. ed davis got hammered a few minutes ago with no call. on the other hand, your angle may be better.
ReplyDeleteMy angle is biased too--so your prob right
ReplyDeletespeedy morris mention!
ReplyDeleteellington and green, human daggers.
ReplyDeleteMajor League Baseball opening day is here...the biggest dagger of all.
ReplyDeletehooray, baseball!
ReplyDeletejordan schaefer homers in his first major league at-bat. that's cool. brett myers, less cool. 3 taters in 1 2/3 innings.
ReplyDeleteSomeone hide Bret Myers' wife...
ReplyDeleteSteve Phillips is crazy. Driving with one eye is best.
ReplyDeletePlease, rob, tell me you're hearing this eye talk in the booth?
ReplyDeleteno, sadly. i was comforting a rugrat. do tell.
ReplyDeletelooks like courtney paris is stroking a big check.
ReplyDeleteJust try to imagine Morgan, Phillips and Miller trying to discuss Francoeur's stance, dominant eyes, Joe's probable dominant right eye cause he swung lefty, Phillips saying you obviously drive better with two eyes...should I continue?
ReplyDeletedear lord in heaven.
ReplyDeleterob, Bubba's gonna be cutting that check.
ReplyDeleteMyers is having a rougggggh start to the season. Karma, she is a bitch.
ReplyDeletethe pedroia commercial gets me a little bit.
ReplyDeleteI'm still mesmeriz-
ReplyDelete"Give me back that filet of fish..."
i've been walking around my house singing that all weekend.
ReplyDeleteMmmm...Filet of Fish.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit it, I flipped by some of that OK game, and I just went by the UConn game as well. There's only so much Braves/Phillies I can take.
ReplyDeletefact: i have never in my life had a filet o fish. i see very few conceivable scenarios in which that changes.
ReplyDeleteYou are really missing out sir
ReplyDeleteThe Filet of Fish is fantastic. I was exposed due to the ridiculous "no fish on fridays" ruke in Catholicism. Now that I think of it, the Filet of Fish is Catholicism's greatest gift to me.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, the first names of the starting five on our team in high school were Brett, Jamie, Eddie, Slater and Kevin...channing, Chase, Rothschild and Birch were in the stands. Even on the bench "Geoff" was about as pretentious as it got.
ReplyDelete