Often, it takes alot to pull me out of the vicious cycle of 30 second channel surfing, and last night was no different. While cruising past James T. Kirk, George W. Bush, and Penn and Teller, I happened upon what I consider Arnold's breakout role - Col. John Matrix in Commando.
Sure, Arnold had blown up the year before in Terminator, and his ability to deliver one line slowly and monosyllabically (did I just make up a word?) would become his modus operandi, but it wasn't until Commando that he put the full package together. The formula - be wronged by bad guy, hunt down bad guy, kill all bad guy's henchmen, eventually kill bad guy in showdown, and deliver perfect one liners along the way (in that absurd accent, still pretty thick in Commando) - is can't miss. There's a reason the guy's insanely rich. The formula works (even hacks like Van Damme and Seagal have had success).
Anyway, a little too much coffee, and I'm rambling off the subject, much like any interview with Johnny Mac on his soon to be canceled cable talk show. Let's break this down:
Sublime casting - I mean, Alyssa Milano as his daughter, and Nick Tortelli as the power hungry deposed dictator of a fictional South American country - How do you beat that?
Great Arnold lines - Kill a guy, drop a one-liner. No one does it like Arnold (Not even all the humps who have played Bond). He even keeps the ball rolling (and defines his career) by getting an "I'll be back" in. The line that left me rolling on the floor laughing last night was his response to the green beret's threat to kick his ass:
"I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry" (Read that to yourself in your best Ahnald impersonation - it's highlarious)
The bad guy - Possibly the fruitiest bad guy ever in an action flick. This is what kills me the most. Bennett, head bad guy, looks like a chunky Freddy Mercury. He's wearing a sleeveless chainmail vest the entire movie. Yeah, that's right, chainmail. And, AND, he has the porn 'stache to boot. Who the hell would ever let this guy run an evil enterprise?
That's all I got this morning. The long weekend can't come soon enough. Hell, the more I think about it, I would've voted for him too.
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