Eternal Springing Hope

Damp gloominess notwithstanding, it's once again the Baseball Poets' favorite time of the year. The next year we've all been waiting for has arrived, the verdant cathedrals flung open to welcome the Boys of Summer and their attendant rooters, Annies, and furtive pharmaceutical providers. And as always*, the G:TB Baseball Preview** is here for your reference and enjoyment.

(* to my knowledge, we've never done a baseball preview)

(** this really isn't a baseball preview)

Others will focus on whether the Red Sox will live up to expectations (color me cautiously optimistic), Buck Showalter's first full season in Baltimore, Zack Grienke's ribcage, the Cubs' Sisyphean quest, Albert Pujols' walk year, and any number of other worthy intrigues. In keeping with our sub-niche specialization, we'll go a different route.

As the fourth-leading chronicler of CAA athletics (behind CAA: Life as a Mid-Major, Defiantly Dutch, and the Harrisonburg Daily News-Record, but way, way ahead of the Richmond Times-Dispatch and the Virginian Pilot), we'll be following the 11 former William & Mary ballplayers earning a professional check.

Three ex-Wrens begin the season on major league rosters, led by veteran pitchers Bill Bray and Chris Ray. Bray is finally healthy after 2009 Tommy John surgery, and enters his 5th big league season looking to be the Reds' late-inning lefty specialist after holding lefties to a .106 average in 2010. Ray saved 33 games for Baltimore in 2006 before struggling through his own injury issues. He accepted a non-roster invitation from Seattle in hopes of earning a late-game relief role, turning down several guaranteed MLB offers from teams with settled closing roles.

Will Rhymes opens the season as the Tigers' starting second baseman after playing in 54 games for Detroit in 2010. The 5'9", 155-pound Rhymes hit .304 with a .763 OPS in his debut season and will likely bat 9th for Jim Leyland this season. He'll take his first cuts of the season against C.C. Sabathia in the Tigers' opener this afternoon. (Annoying sidenote: A Bing image search for 'Will Rhymes' yields a ton of photos of his cousin Busta, but few of Will. Google > Bing.)

Follow our good friend Extra P (of Storming the Floor and CBS Sports Online fame) and his mates at Bus Leagues Baseball for news about the 8 Wrens playing minor league ball, including former big-leaguer Brendan Harris. The veteran infielder begins the season in Igor's backyard (not actually his back yard - there are far too many empties in the way to play baseball) with the Norfolk Tides. Check in with the W&M athletic department for a full list of W&M ballplayers in the minors.

Honor

My sincere gratitude to the men and women of the 3rd U.S. Army Regiment for their commitment to celebrating the service of our fallen Veterans. My family and friends had the distinct honor of laying my father to rest at Arlington National Cemetery yesterday. While it was an obviously solemn and sober affair, the presence of some 60+ Old Guard soldiers performing their duties with military precision and respect despite the cold drizzle was in many ways inspiring. My Dad's place in Arlington was well-earned, and the Old Guard let us know that they understood and agreed. As Dad was a Gheorghian goofball of the highest order, our regularly scheduled dipshittery will commence shortly.

The Ghoogles: Laziest Attempt Ever

Cut and paste job of every keyword search that scored at least two visitors for G:TB in the last seven days. I'd say we're devloping nicely as a niche diorama internet destination.

And seriously, Judy Tenuta? Her agent should be cutting us a check for keeping that woman's name afloat on the interwebs.

This guy here is dead. Cross him off, then.

Our midget editor told me we needed to post something today. I imagine you're all sick of us touting VCU, so how about some baseball....season starts Thursday, I will be at the Nattys home opener, a businessman's special...so what the heck, how about a look at the hometown nine (it ain't pretty folks):

OK, well, have fun with that. Bernadina just got sent down. We'll be back tomorrow with useless filler.

#8wins4CAA

New FOG:TB Jerry Beach has some very nice things to say about our humble staff today over at Defiantly Dutch (or as our blogroll prefers, Defianty Dutch). Of course, he also has kind words for our arch-nemesis, He Who Deals in Reality, but in all the mid-major group hugging that began on Saturday and will last for the next week, we're more than willing to let that go.


We're thrilled this morning for one of G:TB's long-time supporters, Mike Litos of CAA:LAMM fame. As the Teej coined this weekend, MGL is Don CAA-leone, the leading chronicler of Colonial hoops on the internet. He's also a VCU grad, which made this weekend's events all the sweeter for him - not to mention that his tireless and insightful coverage of the conference earned him a trip to San Antonio to cover the regional. We're hugely proud to be his friend and very, very happy for him. MGL wrote a lot this weekend for the Around the Horns blog - check it out if you want to see the best VCU coverage available.

I shouldn't neglect the fine work our very own Teej has done over at SB Nation DC. Check out his stylings so you can say you knew him when.

All of this almost makes me think that the same thing could happen to the Wrens. Almost. Enjoy the moment, Futile Superfans. It's pretty cool.

Good luck VCU. If people weren't rooting for you before, quoting "Dumb and Dumber" is a good way to convert them...

Phase 1 - Quote:

"It's kind of like the movie 'Dumb and Dumber," said VCU coach Shaka Smart on Saturday, setting up a popular line from the gap-toothed doofus played by Jim Carrey. "'So you're saying we've got a chance?"

Phase 2 - Clip:


Phase 3 - Profit. VCU in the Final Four.

Basketball, a wedding and numerous assholes with differing agendas...

Who schedules a wedding in March? Assholes, that’s who. For the second time in as many years, one of my wife’s friends has a wedding scheduled during the meat of the second weekend of the tournament. Two key differences this year: (1) Last year there were no TVs to watch while
drinking/avoiding people at the reception and (2) Florida is playing in an important game during the wedding this year. It’s a bit of a wash, especially since this year’s wedding is a short affair (10-15 minutes) and its on the deck of an oceanfront hotel with the reception being held in said hotel. I plan on being at the hotel bar with 10 minutes left in the first half, at the latest.

Here’s the real problem though. Florida is playing Butler. Butler might be a “mid-major” but they’re bullies. For real. I’m not calling them the Pat Riley era Knicks but there is a bit of an element of that team to their game. They are, by far, the most physical team in the country and they bump, hit and push the opposition so often that many plays that would often be called fouls aren’t called against Butler simply because the refs can’t call everything. It’s an effective defensive strategy and one Butler is exceedingly good at executing. Look at their last two opponents, Pittsburgh and Wisconsin. Each is considered amongst the most physical teams in America, yet both of them were physically pushed around by Butler throughout much of their games. Florida, on the other hand, is not thought of as an especially physical or tough team. Part of this true and part of this is due to the perception of Florida as a program. This perception, I contend, is largely wrong. Florida was, early in Billy Donovan’s career, known for pressing, playing 10-12 guys and shooting tons of threes. However, as time has passed and Florida has become both more successful and more established, the Gators have become a program that thrives on quality halfcourt offensive basketball, good big men (look at the number of bigs Donovan has put in the NBA, its impressive, to say the least) and solid team defense. One need look no further than Thursday night’s win over BYU for evidence of this. Kenny Boynton did an exceptional job guarding Jimmer Fredette but was also helped out by the fact that nearly every time Fredette had even an ounce of daylight, there was a second (and often third) Gator defender flying at him with a hand up. So, you see, these teams are far more similar than most would have you believe. Right down to their boy wonder head coaches. We’ve all marveled at the story, success and likability of Butler’s Brad Stevens over the last 2-3 years but it’s easy to forget that despite having won 2 National Championships and being the 3rd all time winningest coach in SEC history, Billy Donovan is still only in his early 40s. Somehow, he’s still one of the nation’s most underrated coaches and he’s built a premier program in a place that had no record of sustained basketball success in the 70 some odd years before his arrival from Marshall.

If you can’t already tell, I’m pretty psyched for this game. I expect it to be a back and forth, physical affair that comes down to the last possession or two. With that said, and in the interest of time, here are a few keys to the game:

• Shelvin Mack: Kenny Boynton will once again have his hands full with a physical, experienced and multi-talented guard. Mack carried Butler in their win over Pittsburgh last weekend and is fully capable of going off for 25-30 again today. Boynton is an underrated defender but is going to need the help of his long limbed teammates to keep Mack in check.

• Florida’s frontline: I said this would be key in the BYU game, and it was. Florida has one of the country’s deepest, most athletic frontlines. They’ll need to feed Vernon Macklin and Alex Tyus the ball early to put pressure on Smith (coming off an ankle injury) & Howard (prone to foul trouble) in order to establish them against a smaller Butler frontline. Alex Tyus gave Florida his best game in two years against BYU. Freshman phenom Patric Young had his best game of the year in the win over UCLA. Florida will need 2-3 big games out of their 5 man frontcourt rotation to come away with a victory.

• The Point Guards: You can make the case that Florida’s most important player is Erving Walker. He’s tough, a natural leader and has taken (and made) more big shots for them this year than the rest of the team combined. He’s come a long way from the turnover prone, sometimes wildly out of control player he was last year. However, he still has days where he settles for his jumpshot too often and doesn’t control the pace like Donovan would like. He must take care of the ball, contend with Butler’s physical guards and be able to hit a few timely shots. On the other side, Steven Van Zandt is as much of a reason for Butler’s late season surge as anyone. His insertion into the starting lineup gave Butler another sorely needed shot creator and allowed Mack to move off the ball and concentrate his efforts on scoring. He’s going to see a number of Florida defenders today (Walker, Boynton, Scottie Wilbekin) and he’s going to have to be able to handle their pressure effectively while getting Butler into their halfcourt sets.

• Chandler Parsons: As he goes, Florida goes. When Florida was losing to the likes of Jacksonville University early this season and fell out of the top 25, Parsons was struggling in nearly every area of the game, especially scoring as he was averaging about 8 pts/game. When Florida hit it’s stride during SEC play (13-3 overall), it was Parsons, leading the team in rebounding & assists (2nd in scoring), who was the catalyst for this run. The SEC Player of the Year must come up big today and fill the stat sheet if Florida is to advance to the Final Four.

Finally, a fun fact: Brad Stevens and Billy Donovan are a combined 4-0 in regional final games. Obviously, somebody’s perfect record won’t survive this evening. Should be interesting to see which one of these talented coaches it is.

Metal Up Your Ass Friday, Featuring Static X

It's Friday, people. Suck down your coffee, get this song cranking on your work PC and be happy that another week will be complete in a few hours. With ample New Jersey representation and tattoos among the editorial staff, this song felt fitting.



I picked this song to honor of my wife, who is celebrating a birthday today. I think of her every time I hear the song, especially the lines that say "Your shit's like chocolate cake. Your ass smells like a rose."

Wishing you all an ass that smells like a rose today.

Once More with Feeling

On the cusp of another weekend spent immersed in basketball being played by teams other than our favorite, a little reminder that Tony Shaver continues to take the Wrens in the right direction. The Washington Post's local recruiting beat writer gives comfort today, reporting that Tribe signee and 2011 Maryland Player of the Year Marcus Thornton has no intention of trying to get out of his commitment to enroll at William and Mary. "“William & Mary recruited me all along,” said Thornton. “I’m happy with my decision.”

The 6'3" shooting guard averaged 23.4 points per game in his senior year at McNamara. He's rail-thin at 165 pounds, but has loads of offensive talent. With lots of youth in the Tribe's guard rotation (only Kendrix Brown will be a senior next season), Thornton needs to prove he can score and play defense at the college level in order to get quality minutes, but his talent is undeniable. He'll also bring the best hair W&M's seen since Zeb Cope left the Colonial Capital.

6'7" forward Tom Schalk from Apple Valley, MN joins Thornton in the Class of 2016. The Maxpreps Top 100 recruit is the highest-rated signee in Tony Shaver's tenure at W&M, for whatever that's worth. Schalk committed to W&M as a high school junior, and brings a versatile all-court game and a sweet three-point stroke to the 'burg. He averaged 22.8 ppg as a high school senior.

Sometimes the filler just writes itself...

I first saw this story on twitter last night. I mean, can a story be any better set up for a clip than this one?

U.S. investigators are examining whether two airline flights landed at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport today without tower guidance because the lone controller on duty was asleep.

Golden Age of Moviemaking: "Towering Inferno"

A couple of weeks ago I was jamming out to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack when Disco Inferno came on. Fantastic song, yes, but that's not why I'm here today. My OC-ADD brain immediately jumped to "Towering Inferno" , the epic 70s disaster flick about, well, a skyscraper on fire. Hopefully you have all seen this classic, but if not, the trailer below will get you sufficiently fired up (perhaps) to watch it, sometime, maybe:



Yep, that is indeed Orenthal James Simpson. AND Ernest Borgnine. Greatest casting ever. McQueen was salty Newman had 12 more lines than him in the movie. I mean, freakin' Fred Astaire is in this movie. John Williams, yeah that famous composer dude, did the score. Just ep-ic.

OK, get excited, next week I'm gonna ramble on about the original Poseidon Adventure...

This Whole World Wide Web Thing is Awesome

While The Teej remains fascinated by some sort of bestiality movement (see here), we find ourselves entranced by other, higher brow web sites.

Like this one. Rated PG-13 for bad language. And worse grammar.

And since we usually have a picture in our posts, here's one for you all:

Solutions

I've had a nagging professional problem on my mind for the past several weeks. As is often the case, I've followed the advice of a college friend and ignored the issue. Today, through no action of my own, the problem went away. Darren Brown would be proud.

Don't tell my kids, but that's...one to grow on.

Tournament: Day 4

I can't quote the bible like Zman (I've never been into fiction) but I did want to make life easier for all our friends commenting from their phones so I decided a new post was needed for the Sunday slate of games. And while I was thinking about that I decided I should push some of my musical tastes on the readers of G:TB (shit, everyone else does). You may have never heard of Ratatat. If not, they're just a couple of Broooklyn hipsters who do dope remixes. Very, very dope. You've probably heard of Slim Thug...but you've probably never listened to him. I can't blame you. He's not really my style either. Despite my southern upbringing, there aren't a ton of Southern rappers that I love.

I do, however, love this remix. Don't blame me if it's stuck in your head all day today.

And on the third day, He made herbs.

According to the Bible, on the third day God created kind herbs: "And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good." I will leave this theological discussion to other members of our editorial staff on this the third day of the NCAA tournament.

It's almost too nice out to stay in and watch today's games. Almost. Instead I shall spend the evening and the morning of the third day of the tournmament firmly planted in front of my TV. Join me in the comments.

Idiots Rule, Part Deux

Nobody likes to hear about other people's NCAA tournament bracket's getting busted, I know this (it was by far the most annoying part of an otherwise highly entertaining Twitter day Thursday). And trust me, I would never have thought to post this unless 'House Jerry hadn't emailed post-midnight last night to let me know how awful I am doing in the pool below. Never mind my other bracket that is relatively unharmed - just take a look at your boy Teej thinking he was waaaay smarter than he really is...

After the first day of the 2011 NCAA Tournament, I lost four Elite Eight teams, two Final Four teams and a Finalist. This bracket, she is bad.

Friday Filler: Jack White Style

This guy can't not kick ass. Enjoy his recent set from a parking lot at SXSW. And the back half of the video features another artist who's loved by at least one member of the editorial staff - the one and only Seasick Steve.

Idiots Rule

We had a few technical issues with our audio last night, so we we're forced to give you the transcript of our second annual March Madness podcast:

From: Mark
Sent: Wed 3/16/2011 8:48 PM
Subject: RE:

AHL. I know absolutely nothing about how we're doing any of this...

From: rob
To: Mark; Teej
Subject: RE:
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:46:37 -0400

I think we should publish the email thread. Do we know how we’re recording it?

rob

From: Mark
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:45 PM
To: rob; Teej
Subject: RE:

When we doing this? Are we doing this?

From: rob
To: Teej; Mark
Subject: RE:
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:31:07 -0400

You tell him he's young enough to be my son?

rob

-----Original Message-----
From: Teej
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:30 PM
To: rob; Mark
Subject: Re:

I'm drunk on the metro. Rob, our new boss is 24

----- Original Message -----
From: rob
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 07:28 PM
To: Teej; Mark
Subject: RE:

I'm on a boat! I'm in.

rob

-----Original Message-----
From: Teej
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:27 PM
To: Mark; rob

I'm in a metro tunnel

But would love to do a ppdcast in 30 min

From: Teej
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 5:25 PM
To: Mark; rob

I can do this, but has to be in conjunction with me writing up vcu game

From: Mark
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 03:35 PM
To: Teej
Subject: RE:

I'm in. We doing this tonight? I'm playing ball until around 7:30 or so but am free after that. Let me know.
________________________________________
From: Teej
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Mark; rob; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject:
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 13:27:11 +0000

http://www.podbean.com/

From: Teej
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Mark; rob; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject:
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 9:19 AM

Oh, I long forgot whatever that site was. Ill just use the ole google machine t find a new site

From: rob
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 9:18 AM
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Mark; rob; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject: RE: clicks for average page views per day

I thought you set up a new website – is that right?

rob

From: Teej
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:53 AM
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Mark; rob; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject: RE: clicks for average page views per day

What website we using for this? and what time we doing this?

From: rob
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 9:20 PM
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Mark; Teej; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject: RE: clicks for average page views per day

We’re gonna need to cast pod tomorrow night – who’s in? And Teej, have we tested the new casting service?

rob

From: Mark
Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 5:06 PM
To: Dennis; Dave; Zman; Teej; rob; TR; Igor; Mr. Truck; Almighty Yojo
Subject: RE: clicks for average page views per day

Based on the "success" of last year's March madness G:TB podcast, are we going to do a 2nd Annual?

Aloe Blacc with TR/FD's Lovechild

If TR and FD had a lovechild, they would make a kid with an afro who could do the Rerun Dance. Kinda like this:

'Twas the Night Before Madness

In case anyone was wondering what Greg's been up to lately, his exploits have garnered more than 700,000 views on YouTube.