Monday, October 12, 2026

Returning to Your Regularly Scheduled Dipshittery

I was goofing off on the interwebs and came across the classic Kids in the Hall sketch "The Daves I Know". You can watch  it below.


The next step was fairly obvious. Please enjoy my personal version of the song. I left out a couple. Kinda thought there would be more, though.

Hi, I’m rob. I’d like to tell you about the Daves I know.

These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.
These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.

Dave Pellicane, he teaches kids Shakespeare
Writes a sentence every day, has for 20* years

*ish

These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.
These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.

Dave Fairbank was an ink-stained wretch
Spends his days combing the beach, teaching his pup to fetch

CHORUS

The great Dave Flynn, he was larger than life
Saw the Pogues, met his kid, just don't tell his wife

CHORUS

Dave Milhiser, you guys don't know him
He's my high school buddy, realtor and a gem

CHORUS

David Robinson, of that name I know two(!)
One is my uncle, the other teaches school (college, that is)

CHORUS

Daves Lazorchak and Bucciero, a pair
Soccer coaches (school and club), definitely care

CHORUS

David Lau, a Lammie from the past
Don't remember lots when I saw him in Hoboken last

These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.
These are the Daves I know, I know.
These are the Daves I know.

17 comments:

  1. My middle name is David, and my extended family roster contains a dizzying number of Davids and Kates.

    My niece Katie is engaged to marry another Kate next June. I've had to ID the latter as "Katie's Kate" before, which seems kinda wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Discussion of Daves really gets the conversation popping here, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "these are the daves i don't give a shit about", i guess

    ReplyDelete
  4. Appreciate the lyrical shout-out, rob

    ReplyDelete
  5. in third grade, there were five daves in my class-- but these days, not so many daves abound . . .

    ReplyDelete
  6. And Rob's recent procedure has stopped his ability to contribute to making more Daves.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stupid office episode: Back in the day in our newsroom sports department at one point we had five guys named Dave or David. At times, we just referred to everybody as Dave, even the women, who went along with it or just tolerated our dumbassery (more likely).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Like the Bruces MP sketch

    Is your name not Bruce?
    No, it’s Michael.
    Mind if we call you Bruce to keep it clear?

    ReplyDelete
  9. When Bill Keith the banjo player joined Bill Monroe's Bluegrass Boys, Monroe renamed the banjoist 'Brad', since they already had a Bill in the band.

    ReplyDelete
  10. And then there's the two Johns in They Might Be Giants. And their respective dressing rooms, presumably.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Speaking of Johns, sort of - Rke. County Police raided a number of massage parlors here on Monday, making 13 arrests.

    Photos were released of 11 of the women charged (Asian women, aged 35-62), and all are being held without bond.

    Two men were arrested and cited as well, but their photos were not released. One of them was recently a city council candidate for the gop.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I lived with another Mark in college. Luckily we both largely went by out last names- the other Mark's last name was Roberto but we shortened it to Berto. TJ has met this man and will never, ever forget it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. young michael brennan is currently the 20th-ranked male golfer in the world, and 36th on the pga tour money list with $4.9m in 2026 earnings. ain't that some shit?!?

    ReplyDelete