The Hero America Needs Today

As some of you know, I have an Instagram account. I use it for low-brow entertainment, to stay loosely in touch with others, and to look at attractive women. Not necessarily in that order. 

I love a quality, inane account to follow. And I have found the Holy Grail of inane accounts. The man behind that account is the Holy Grail of party animals. Is it too late to rush him for Pi Lam? 

The account is @featherstonerusty on Instagram and @rustyfeatherstone on TikTok, where he has 188K followers. I assume Rusty Featherstone is a fake name. Rusty is a college kid somewhere (Oregon?) with a simple mission in life. It's called Rusty Rates Beers. Rusty rates beers by drinking a 12-pack of them. He announces the beer, gives updates after he's four/eight/twelve deep, and then gives a score. It goes exactly as you might expect, every single time.  

I embedded my favorite review below, and another one below that. I'm a sucker for a Harry Potter reference. Enjoy.

@rustyfeatherstone

Tiktok I’m a trained professional please let me post this

♬ original sound - Rusty

@rustyfeatherstone

Audio was off had to repost... Enjoy

♬ original sound - Rusty