By the time you're reading this, I may be wheels up on my latest work adventure, a three-day trip to meet clients of my firm in Tel Aviv. My new employer has a big operation there, there is a lot of wealth there, and I was asked to make the trip. I feel good about the trip b/c my flight time is 420 PM.
Unfortunately, the flight is long and the trip is short. And Sunday is a work day in Israel! The entirety of my downtime will be bleary-eyed, jet-lagged wandering through Tel Aviv on Saturday afternoon. So I'll need to be careful as I play tourist for a couple hours. Not b/c I'm a Polish Iranian whose beard is hitting peak swarthiness, but b/c I'm me. My decision-making when fully rested can be problematic. Add in sleep deprivation, excessive caffeine and scotch and you have a recipe for chaos.
I've been trying to learn up on Israeli culture, in addition to finding out where Gal Gadot lives. I turned to Adam Sandler for help. I think I'm in good hands.
Wish me luck. And let me know if you want a Maccabi Tel Aviv jersey or Jeremy Pargo's autograph.
Please please please go into a restaurant and order ham and swiss on matzoh.
ReplyDeletePlease please please let me let me let me get what I want this time
ReplyDeleteI actually liked You Don't Mess With the Zohan, and I like pretty much zero Adam Sandler movies. (Okay, 4... Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Punch-Drunk Love, and this.)
ReplyDeleteBig Daddy was good. Leslie Mann had her fastball than, and I’ve always been a fan of Joey Lauren Adams.
ReplyDeleteWe'll allow it
ReplyDeletegovt shutdown finally over
ReplyDeletenancy pelosi is taking scalps.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Trump’s language seems to suggest some buckling. Almost makes me want to read Coulter’s and Limbaugh’s Twitter takes. Almost.
ReplyDeletepelosi should still refuse to invite him for the state of the union. grind her heel on his smoking carcass.
ReplyDeleteadam sandler movies are pretty bad . . . but little nicky the waterboy,, billy madison, and 50 first dates also sort of make the grade. punch drunk love is exceptional.
ReplyDeleteWait, Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. Stranger than fiction, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI actually do want a Maccabi Tel Aviv t shirt. I’m all about collecting shirts from storied international basketball clubs. Send me your Venmo, TR, and I’ll send you money for purchase and shipping. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteNew Year’s resolutions are kind of bullshit and I generally avoid them but I’m trying to commit to not randomly buying cool shit when I’m drinking on my couch on weekend nights and wasting time online. It’s just too easy with Apple Pay and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteInstead I’m texting myself a picture and checking it out in the sober light of day. If I still want it at that point then I’ll pull the trigger. I don’t really need half the bullshit I buy.
You need more sneakers.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s your size, Mark?
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing, Mark. Last night I bought a signed Earnest Byner jersey. I mean come on now.
ReplyDeleteZman is the drunk devil on my shoulder.. I’m on a shoe break right now. Doubt that’ll last long though.
ReplyDeleteI’m a medium, TR. let me know how to get you some money.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to Whitney dressing exclusively in autographed jersey.
Oliver Perez inked for another year. Dude’s career has defied a whole lot of odds.
ReplyDeleteBeing a semi gifted left handed pitcher is the ultimate life hack. A fair amount of money and not a whole lot of pressure. And longevity. And guaranteed salaries. Should I go on?
ReplyDeleteTrue. True. Sid Fernandez. Bob Ojeda. Kenny Rogers.
ReplyDelete1. We need a post about your trip when you return TR.
ReplyDelete2. Best Adam Sandler movies = Big Daddy, 50 First Dates, Wedding Singer
3. The kids in my office told me they actually respect me less for liking Adam Sandler movies.
4. We discussed it here on Day 4 of Gheorghemas: Nancy Pelosi is a badass and a boss. As Cardi B (another badass woman) would say: she dog-walked Trump today.
Shlara,
ReplyDeleteI think point 3 above is more related to the respect that they already have for you, rather than a comment about Adam Sandler films. I have no doubt that they respect your professionalism and intellect at a very high level and appreciation for Sandler films does not fit their notion of you. On the other hand, if they are working with a pedantic, middle aged dude with a penchant for ridiculous hot takes (Dave), then likening Sandler films might be a check in the “plus” column.
I liken a lot of stuff. Dave’s body hair makes him appear to be coated with lichen. I don’t liken Dave’s lichen though.
ReplyDeleteApparently, Israeli security does mess with the Rezhan. Got detained for almost two hours by security and put in a holding pen with other swarthy men. They asked me my dad's name, my grandfather's name, if my dad came from Tehran before or after the Shah was overthrown, and specific details about my trip. The questions came three times from three different people, all while they had my passport.
ReplyDeleteThey don't F around out here.
Geez TR - be cool man, be real cool...
ReplyDeleteDamn. Maybe take it easy in the scotch on your trip then.
ReplyDeleteWe might need to mount a posse and go rescue TR
ReplyDeletewow! that's awesome TR. that's why we never went to israel when we lived in syria. my wife and i did get detained like that in a similar fashion in Amsterdam, because we had so many syria and lebanon passport stamps. i kept explaining (swarthily) that iwas a school teacher and the snowboarding was really good in lebanon. even as i said it, i barely believed it.
ReplyDeletei took a nap and woke up a few minutes ago and everyone else in my house is napping! my wife, both boys, and the dog! it's so quiet it's almost scary . . .
That's a cool story. Anytime I travel abroad I think of the show Locked Up (abroad) which always scares the hell out of me, even though I do nothing illegal. One of my biggest fears is someone slipping a kilo of heroin in my suitcase and ending up in a jail or worse, being executed. That would suck.
ReplyDeleteTR my advice is to do the opposite of whatever that little voice inside your head is telling you to do. Now is not the time to get all Timmy Pornstar.
ReplyDeleteOn that note, Dan, everyone should read Marching Powder. Greg recommended it to me years ago. My wife and I both tore through it. Still one of my all time favorite books.
ReplyDeletejust placed a hold on it at the library. sounds like a good one.
ReplyDeletein other book recs, you guys should all be reading cixin liu's "the three-body problem" trilogy before it becomes amazon's version of game of thrones. i'm through the first book: first contact through chinese perspective. awesome.
Dave does a number of things I wish I did. Using the library is one of them. Teaching is not one of them. God bless teachers (my sister is one) but I can’t fathom dealing with kids all day.
ReplyDeletePelosi dropped a Twitter thread on the Russia investigation last night. She’s got the guts the Democrats have lacked recently. I’m still skeptical that anything of real consequence will actually happen to Trump but Nancy has my attention.
ReplyDeleteUnrelated: Steph Curry has become underrated. Somehow.
ReplyDeletei'm headed to san antonio for a week. i do not expect to be hassled by customs agents. will apprise of my situation.
ReplyDeleteStart following BBQ Snob on twitter/Instagram. Your trip will be better for it. Your cholesterol level won’t be.
ReplyDeleteSemi-related (Mexican border and whatnot): the Narcos reboot is strong to quite strong.
ReplyDeleteHi Gheorgies.
ReplyDeleteL’ chayim everybody. Things were somewhat smooth after yedterday’s kerfufle. But my driver left the airport and I was stuck there for 30 mins. And when I finally got to the airport, I had to wait an hour to get into my room. Oy veh.
ReplyDeleteLots of surfers out in the Eastern Med. Two-foot waves and 75 degree weather is a decent day in the sun. Shabbat means most places closed. I wish I had better stories, but I slept 12 hours. I’m old.
Don’t roll on shabbos.
ReplyDeleteNarcos Mexico is good indeed. The hippopotamus scene is great.
ReplyDeletedid you guys see this in the NYT?
ReplyDelete“We expect our brothers not to partake in that macho jock mentality. We want to stand out as being intellectual and athletic, but also as being kind and respectful.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/26/opinion/sunday/fraternity-sexual-assault-college.html?emc=edit_th_190127&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=596127480127
Brothers in several fraternities described to me a weekly ritual called, “Good of the Order,” “Good of the Fraternity,” “Good and Welfare” or “Gavel Sessions,” during which brothers are encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteApparently we were ahead of our time.
Don’t forget about Old’s business.
ReplyDeletezson somehow became interested in learning how to spell so zwoman put Words With Friends on his iPad and he really enjoys playing. As a result, I was asked to put Words With Friends on zmother-in-law's iPhone so she could play with him. The third word of zson's first game against his grandmother was "SHIT." This did not go over well.
ReplyDeleteGTB Team, we’ve hit a posting lull. I have a busy week and I am off to Ireland in a few days. Can anyone else pick up the slack? I promise to come back with a post chock full of stories and pictures.
ReplyDeleteHey Whitney, I sent a possible guestie post to Rob. Unsure how out-of-pocket he is in San Antonio. If there's someone else to whom I can send and has rights to post, let me know.
ReplyDeletei want a pic of a leprechaun!
ReplyDeletePreviewing 6N on Radio Fairfax channel 37 this eve at 8. Rugby buddy has a show and a few of a are joining in.
ReplyDeleteUs
ReplyDeleteAnd them
ReplyDeleteWell played
ReplyDelete