oh man, today's gonna be quite the day on twitter dot com:
In her upcoming memoir, Stormy Daniels provides this description of her night with Donald Trump: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart"
I assume by yeti pubes she means that in addition to being unkempt he has gone gray down there. I am surprised that he doesn’t use the same hair dye to make the carpet match the drapes.
how did that nerdy guy with the baritone sax, rec-specs and zubaz pants make his way into that otherwise supercool band? really gives anyone and everyone hope that they too can be a rock star.
I can’t believe you still listen to him. He is insufferable. I actually enjoy Michael Kay’s show. He is pretty candid, and not arrogant like Francesca.
But I’m almost always listening to a podcast. Thanks to the folks who pushed Bundyville. Crazy story!
glad you liked it TR. i'm doing it with my sophomore class before we do "death of a salesman." they needed an out-of-jersey perspective on "the american dream."
my other big rec is that everyone needs to watch "detectorists." with the whole family.
we're also going back through "sherlock" with the kids because there are new episodes.
I listen to Francesca for 15 minutes a day (my commute home) during football season, and maybe once or twice a week outiside of football season. I don’t really listen for the content. There’s just something comforting about listening to Mike grumble. It feels like I’m home.
“I’ve nevah seen a defenziv playah like Anthony Mason. He can god a god and he can god a cenna. Just a spezhil playah.”
“Do I think Yoostin can make the Sooba Bowl? Not wit Shwab at QB, I’ll tell you that.”
Sept 28 I am hanging with Dave in Highland Park. Sept 29 my cousin and I are attending David Wright's farewell game at Citi Field. I think I'm going to crash in the city somewhere after visiting Doc Holliday's or some other dives. Bevs before and after the game.
I'm not great about advance notice, this is about at good as it gets.
bonus information: my family has a ropes course/zip-line groupon that is about to expire. we have to go saturday., after whit and i and whoever else we can muster up hang out on friday night. you probably don't want to be behind me on the zip-line (both for reasons of flatulence and vomit).
oh man, today's gonna be quite the day on twitter dot com:
ReplyDeleteIn her upcoming memoir, Stormy Daniels provides this description of her night with Donald Trump: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart"
brevity, not usually the soul of whit. but this is quality content.
ReplyDeleteDave thinks this is derivative and trite.
ReplyDeleteShe was banging a 65 year old dude because of his celebrity status. Not sure why she thought he would be manscaped and hung like Dirk Diggler.
ReplyDeleteall true, marls. but now we get yeti pubes and mushroom dick as part of our national political discourse, which is phenomenal.
ReplyDeleteI assume by yeti pubes she means that in addition to being unkempt he has gone gray down there. I am surprised that he doesn’t use the same hair dye to make the carpet match the drapes.
ReplyDeleteWas she annoyed he wasn’t packing a bigger hog?
ReplyDeleteReminds me of my one of my favorite Onion stories of all-time:
https://entertainment.theonion.com/nations-porn-stars-demand-to-be-fucked-harder-1819566028
Is that Rob on the bari-sax?
ReplyDeleteThe inclusion of a Trent Lott quote in that onion article is perfect.
ReplyDeleteGross. I long for the days when the shocking quip was “still dicking bimbos”...
ReplyDeleteSDB is still a better line, if not more shocking than the stuff about Yeti/Mario Kart junk. Nothing's shocking, as Perry Farrell would say.
ReplyDeleteTR has lots of experience with Yetis, and I'm not talking about the coolers.
Yeti she persisted
ReplyDeleteAbout Vontae...
ReplyDeletehttps://theundefeated.com/features/bills-vontae-davis-knew-what-he-was-doing/
how did that nerdy guy with the baritone sax, rec-specs and zubaz pants make his way into that otherwise supercool band? really gives anyone and everyone hope that they too can be a rock star.
ReplyDeleteGo for it, Dave
ReplyDeletewhenever i see a high school in the south called heritage, i assume the (not hate) is implied. i can't be the only one, right?
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure which name I enjoy listening to Mike Francesca mangle more: Syndergaard or Shurmur.
ReplyDeleteI can’t believe you still listen to him. He is insufferable. I actually enjoy Michael Kay’s show. He is pretty candid, and not arrogant like Francesca.
ReplyDeleteBut I’m almost always listening to a podcast. Thanks to the folks who pushed Bundyville. Crazy story!
glad you liked it TR. i'm doing it with my sophomore class before we do "death of a salesman." they needed an out-of-jersey perspective on "the american dream."
ReplyDeletemy other big rec is that everyone needs to watch "detectorists." with the whole family.
we're also going back through "sherlock" with the kids because there are new episodes.
I listen to Francesca for 15 minutes a day (my commute home) during football season, and maybe once or twice a week outiside of football season. I don’t really listen for the content. There’s just something comforting about listening to Mike grumble. It feels like I’m home.
ReplyDelete“I’ve nevah seen a defenziv playah like Anthony Mason. He can god a god and he can god a cenna. Just a spezhil playah.”
“Do I think Yoostin can make the Sooba Bowl? Not wit Shwab at QB, I’ll tell you that.”
Somebody is bragging about their short commute
ReplyDeleteIt's shaped like a mushroom.
ReplyDeleteAnd Soobabowl should really be one word.
ReplyDeleteNJ/NYers:
ReplyDeleteSept 28 I am hanging with Dave in Highland Park.
Sept 29 my cousin and I are attending David Wright's farewell game at Citi Field. I think I'm going to crash in the city somewhere after visiting Doc Holliday's or some other dives. Bevs before and after the game.
I'm not great about advance notice, this is about at good as it gets.
I will be in lederhosen in my town the afternoon. While that would make for a fun “commute to NY” and meet up w/ you story, not sure it will play out.
ReplyDeletebonus information: my family has a ropes course/zip-line groupon that is about to expire. we have to go saturday., after whit and i and whoever else we can muster up hang out on friday night. you probably don't want to be behind me on the zip-line (both for reasons of flatulence and vomit).
ReplyDeleteRatt is playing at the Wellmont on September 28. Just sayin.
ReplyDeletei'm not braving friday rush hour traffic for ratt. just sayin.
ReplyDeleteyou and TR should come down though. take the train to new brunswick.
Come hang with me. It'll be like riding in a classic British sports car. So I've been told.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Thrasher magazine gear become the new FUBU?
ReplyDeleteI’m in for next Friday. Not for the gassy zip line on Saturday.
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDelete