Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Efforts of Wayne

If you're online and remotely into sports, you've already seen this. It was a SportsCenter Top 10 selection on Sunday evening. We're not breaking news here.

But this play was so spectacular, and so unexpected, that it's worth a half-assed Gheorghian treatment.

I can't believe it, either
Once the class of MLS, D.C. United is today a mediocre side. Pants, if you will. Headed into Sunday's match against Orlando City, United were in last place in the Eastern Conference by five points. To be fair, they've played significantly fewer matches than the average team, and an overwhelming majority of their matches thus far have been played away from home as construction was wrapped up on Audi Field, the club's new home.

Over the past several seasons, the club's developed a reputation for poor management, tight purse-strings, and lousy on-field results. That's starting to change, as the new stadium comes online and new ownership with professional sports experience takes over. DCU picked up U.S. national Paul Arriola last season as a step forward.

And last month, the club added international legend Wayne Rooney, which felt at the time as much of a marketing tactic as anything else.

It doesn't feel like that any longer.

Deep into second-half stoppage time against Orlando, with the match tied at 2 (Orlando equalized through Dom Dwyer despite playing with only 10 men for most of the second half), DCU won a corner kick. Head coach Ben Olsen waived goalkeeper Dave Ousted into the penalty box, pushing all 11 players forward in a desperate attempt to earn a critical three points.

The risk a team runs in pushing that many players forward is obvious. A quick clearance can lead to a counterattack against an empty net.

Cue quick clearance. Cue counterattack. Cue Orlando City three-on-one break, with Rooney - who's 32, with a million miles on his odometer, having started playing in the Premier League as a 16 year-old - as the only thing standing in the way of a devastating loss for his side. Freeze the video below at the 0:13 mark - all Orlando's Will Johnson needed to do was whip the ball into the center of the field, and either of two teammates would've walked it in. (And if you want to see desperation, check out Ousted's pellmell sprint to get back to his goal at around the 0:49 mark.)

You know what happened next. Rooney sprinted 40 yards, made a saving tackle along the sideline, sprung to his feet, took three rapid touches forward, and launched an inch-perfect cross-field diagonal ball onto the head of 5'3" Luciano Acosta, who leapt over a defender and nodded the ball into the side of the net for his third goal of the game.



Madness ensued. At Audi Field and in my living room. I watch more MLS than most people (which isn't saying all that much), and I'm quite sure I've never been as dumbfounded, never leapt to my feet involuntarily by a play in our domestic league. It might well have been the most remarkable soccer play I've ever seen.

As the bloggers at Black & Red United said (with cool accompanying screenshot), "That’s 32 year old, multi-million-dollar Premier League import Wayne Rooney. The number nine. The guy people said was past it. He’s the one having to make a 50 yard sprint this far into stoppage time on a muggy night to prevent a bad draw from turning into a worse loss."

I never fancied myself much of a Wayne Rooney fan, but after watching that effort, and hearing more and more about the level of professionalism and commitment he's brought to D.C. in his short tenure, I'm sold.

Sports are cool.

22 comments:

  1. I am online, at least some of the time, and I think I am at least remotely into sports, but I had not seen this. Thanks for posting it, very cool.

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  2. I have one soccer jersey - a red Rooney jersey from back when AIG was their sponsor. While neither a fantastic husband nor a calm player, he has always been one of m favorite players. He has amazing technical skill and was never afraid to show his blue-collar grit when needed on the field.

    His bicycle goal against Man City a few years ago was the best soccer play I ever saw (I think). This one is up there too.

    Thx for sharing, so all can see. DC comes to the Red Bull’s on Sun 8/26. Debating the trip w/ my kids.

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  3. rooney! love that guy. what a play.

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  4. I know three different people who have named their dog Rooney because Wayne Rooney was their/their kids' favorite player. Strange.

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  5. Um, weird. Make it four. Family is getting a new puppy on Sun 9/2. Name will be Rooney. I wanted to name it Winfield, but two families in my town who got dogs from our breeder (we recommended it to them) both gave baseball-themed names.

    I’ll have to steer clear of Whit’s friends. Or tell them it’s named after Ed and Andy.

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  6. Don't forget Mickey Rooney... who would play Rob in the OBFT movie, were he still alive.

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  7. Wither Kate and Mara Rooney?

    What type of dog did you get? I hope to never own a dog but if zwoman gets one I will insist that it be named Thurman. As in Uma, not Munson or Thomas.

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  8. Zed - We got the hypoallergenic Cavechon breed, on account of the missus having dog hair allergies. It’s the same breeder used by the family across the street from me That dog has been our timeshare dog for a couple years, but we’re going all in.

    There are six dogs in town from that breeder in Havre de Grace, MD. Disposition is great, and the fecal loads are small.

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  9. that’s like a real dog, only smaller

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  10. that should fit in your man-purse tr

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  11. What can i say? I want a man’s dog, but our yard is not big, huge turds are unpleasant, and keeping the wife sneezing is suboptimal.

    But I am buying it a Rooney jersey.

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  12. Yeah!! Who says that puppies and pussies can’t live together??

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  13. Geez. Sorry, I was just piling on to try to fit in with those other badasses.

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  14. Sounded presidential to me.

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  15. Jeez, guys.

    Now I know how Omarosa feels.

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  16. You are looking live at the Firth of Clyde from the peninsula of Kintyre Scotland. Oldest just finished up with her Uni theatre company after 5 shows at the Fringe in Edinbugh. We've been in Glasgow after an overnight in Dooblin. Now a couple days seaside. Off to Edi later this week. Cheers for TR6 shutout Z.

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  17. Kenny, if you see a bartender at the Last Drop named Bryan (formerly of Igors), tell him I said hello. I'd love to get back to Edinburgh someday.

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  18. it's not even noon, man. whitney hasn't even started drinking yet. jeez.

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  19. This is in Virginia Beach, one of you SEVA folks should snatch it up:

    https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1990-lancia-lancia-delta-integrale-evo-gr-a/

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