If I asked you to quickly name a hypothetical event that would be simultaneously the most incredible and most globally impactful story possible, you might first posit news of Tupac living in Boise and working as a ranch hand. But it wouldn't take you long before you got to the discovery of alien intelligence in our galaxy.
Get ready to have your mind blown, boys and girls.
Scientists from the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) project have been tracking a powerful signal from the constellation Hercules since May 2015, and many are convinced that it originates from a society that's significantly more technologically advanced than ours.
I'll give you a minute. Maybe this video of cats being assholes will help you calm yourself down.
Hercules is about 95 light years away from Earth, nearly our next-door neighbor as these things go. Last May, a team of scientists at the Russian Academy of Science busted out their RUTAN-600 megascope and found evidence of "a strong signal in the direction of HD164595".
HD164595, as it turns out, is a star with properties very similar to those of our own sun. The signal in question is both strong and steady. It gets better. Let me give you some rapping Muppets before I spring the kicker.
According to legendary Soviet astronomer Nikolai Kardeshev, who postulated multiple levels of technical sophistication among extraterrestrial societies, a signal like the one investigated by the SETI researchers would only be possible from a Type II civilization, capable of harnessing all of the power of its home star.
We can barely use our home star to tan ourselves and power a portable refrigerator, and these bug-eyed motherfuckers are using theirs to direct a signal at a solar system 95 light years away. We're either in for an amazing experience, or we're completely fucked. On the bright side, the Large Hadron Collider is totally jealous.
Have a great day, everybody!
One of the Kardashians drove a VW Routan with ET? Is that what you're saying?
ReplyDeletethat's the essence of it
ReplyDeleteon a lighter note, hungarian scientists may have discovered a fifth force in nature, the "dark photon."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-26/scientists-may-have-discovered-nature's-5th-force/7449988
I’m a Pisces, and Brian, a Gemini; and it is said that a Pisces writes out of inspiration while a Gemini writes out of desperation.
ReplyDelete-Mike Love being Mike Love
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/30/books/in-good-vibrations-summer-fun-soured-by-mike-loves-score-settling.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share NYTimes: In ‘Good Vibrations,’ Summer Fun Soured by Mike Love’s Score Settling
Clarence is going to scream at me for even asking this, but there is zero reason why I should pass up (great) tickets to see The Boss on Thursday night at Nats Park because I have a fantasy football draft?
ReplyDeleteYou know what, as I even typed that I realized I was an idiot.
Carry on
I got roped into a league this year that has a live draft. I successfully missed it last year and they drafted for me. I can't get out of it this year. So what's the best site to get a ranking from? I also have the #1 pick.
ReplyDeletei too have been pestered back into my league. i tried to weasel out but it's too late. i am bribing my children to run the team for me.
ReplyDeletesummer dave is writing his first/last post of the summer.
ReplyDeleteTJ is an idiot.
ReplyDeleteBut Mike Love should die already.
so I'm at least better than Mike Love?
ReplyDeleteI first read that last comment quickly and I thought it said "so I'm at least better than Make Love" which is a pretty egotistical assertion. Upon re-reading I think the statement is accurate and not boastful.
ReplyDeleteI got into a drunken argument w/ a friend about Bruce recently. I said that after seeing him a bunch in the last decade, I'm no longer seeing Bruce in concert. I'm now seeing "Bruce," a hyperversion of the original guy that has more than a little bit of choreographed schtick. A blue-collar guy I went to high school with has the job of catching Bruce when he falls into the crowd at a set point during a guitar solo during a song.
ReplyDeleteBruce is putting on a show and working hard and giving his fans what they want, but it got to be a bit hackneyed for my taste after a few shows.
oh, shit. shots fired. at clarence.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget Whitney.
ReplyDeleteDid he have to apply for that job? Extensive interview process? How's that work I wonder.
I've never seen Springsteen in concert so shtick or no shtick I'm excited.
ReplyDeleteLots of bands do the same old shtick between songs for each tour stop. But Bruce playing 3+ hours is still the Boss.
ReplyDeletei don't think you fuckers are appropriately terrified/excited about our new alien overlords
ReplyDeletedon't blame me, I voted for Kodos
ReplyDeleteI hear you, and I know that he and his cosmetically-enhanced face still put on a great show for fans. And yes, I know he's in his 60's. It's been a blast, but I'd put my discretionary concert funds elsewhere today.
ReplyDeleteThe guy is a dude who's bounced around bad jobs his whole life. When he's not liking Donald Trump things on Facebook, he's bragging about being in the crowd paid to catch Bruce.
If you haven't seen Bruce you should. But if you've seen Bruce before you'll probably have to see him at an enormous venue if you want to see him again, and I don't enjoy enormous venues anymore.
ReplyDelete/endKingSolomonimpression
Our new alien overlords are exciting in theory but I will be dead in 95 years (which is the minimum amount of time it will take them to get here) so I can't get too worked up about it.
what if they left 93 years ago?
ReplyDeleteIf they can harness the energy of their sun, they can travel faster than the speed of light. So they are already here and this 'news' of them reaching out to us is all part of the matrix we live in. We are just vessels for them at this point. Enjoy the ride.
ReplyDeleteI was going to comment, but the length and nature of it make me think Rob would tell me to generate a post based on it. Fine. I'll work on it.
ReplyDeleteBack to alien talk. Game over, man.
if they wanted to get here, they'd already be here.
ReplyDeletei once saw metallica twice on the same tour, and they did identical concerts, down to the banter between songs. i saw bruce once, and he played for 3+ hours and put on quite a show, and that was enough for me. i think it's kind of weird that he continues to do that. it's kind of anti-blue collar. he should retire, drink beer, acquire a gut, live off his pension, and strum his guitar on his porch, in some florida retirement community. that's what his fans really want, not all this endless go-getter crap.
Nothing can move faster than light. Einstein said so.
ReplyDeletesome people think quantum entanglement moves information faster than light. of course, some people find "friends" humorous, so who knows what's true and what's relative.
ReplyDeleteHi friends of TJ! The Teej got his grade back. He will be so mad at me bragging about him but whatever. Straight As thru his masters, including capstone. He's done. He's brilliant. Leaving it here.
ReplyDeleteAnd obviously he's an idiot for thinking of skipping the Boss. Thanks Clarence.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what you can do when you use your powers for good. Hail Teedge!!
ReplyDelete