The Minnesota State Fair (better than a 50/50 chance I'll be there on Tuesday night)- Food poisoning (better than a 50/50 chance I had that last Saturday during OBFT19)
- Professional sports in Hampton Roads, Virginia
- Avril Lavigne's wedding plans
- Skip Bayless
- The Small Argon Near Misser
- Craisins
- Randy Chinese pigs
- Randy Travis' naked driving skills
- This paddleball game
- Scooping the litter box
- Preseason NFL Football (I have yet to watch a down)
- My heroin habit
- Rob Dibble's opinion about Stephen Strasburg
- Face-Kinis
- The novels of Susan Sontag (which are self-indulgent, overrated crap)
- Cactii
not lance though?
ReplyDeleteThe only guy who lost weight at OBFT...
ReplyDeleteBest possible outcome for Lance at this point.
ReplyDeleteScale party at next OBFT!!
I strongly support a scale at OBFT. We can bet on who weighs more.
ReplyDeletejust read that only papi, saltalamacchia, buchholz, and padilla from the current roster showed up at johnny pesky's funeral. fuck this team with bea arthur's dick.
ReplyDeleteweighed in yesterday at the same weight i was when i graduated high school. booya, food poisoning.
ReplyDeletemore gray hair, though.
So the yellow bracelets now become: ironic accessories for hipsters? demonstrations of support for drug legalization? rubber bands for scrub baseball cards?
ReplyDeleteWhy do hipsters use ironic when they mean sarcastic?
ReplyDeleteIrony.
ReplyDeleteRob--come join us on the Nationals bandwagon, just bring your Natitude.
ReplyDeleteAnd Jerry, the yellow bracelets are about tenacity and hope--most cancer patients/survivors don't care about the doping. Lance is a d-bag as a person, but a total inspiration to people with cancer. (sorry to get all serious on a Friday)
Shlara - whether you like it or not, the yellow bands were a weak social statement by folks to show they care enough about cancer to give (literally) a couple bucks. People wore them b/c they felt they gained social equity in doing so. I'm generalizing, but I'm not off the mark.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have had 3 parents combined with cancer. 2 of them did not win their fight. We've given a lot of money to cancer research and have never felt compelled to wear rubber jewelry to let people know this.
i don't agree with that on the whole. lots of people wear them for the reasons you detail, but lots of other people wear them for much more personal reasons. i don't wear one (mostly because i have tiny little delicate wrists), but i value the idea behind them.
ReplyDeleteif you see 10 different people wearing them, there are likely 10 different reasons for doing so. i don't wear one in the literal sense but know loads that do. for runners/bikers/tri people, they come in very handy during those last few miles of a race or workout, whether their 1st 5k or 5th ultra marathon. what is for many a "why the eff am i doing this" "i can't make it" is instead, "i'm pretty effing lucky that i can put myself through this so be happy and quit bitching" or "is this really that hard" just by looking at a bracelet and thinking about a sick or dead uncle/parent/friend/child
ReplyDeleteTR--I agree that when the bracelets first came out, many people wore them as a fashion statement.
ReplyDeleteBut when you see people wearing them now, most have a very personal reason to do so--and not everyone's reason is tied to cancer.
I came to G:TB looking for some Friday afternoon jackassery. Clearly not what's going on today. So I guess it's back to scouring Gator message boards for practice reports. Muschamp still hasn't named a starting QB! Huzzah!!
ReplyDeleteyeah, 'tis the season. irish named their guy yesterday and he's the one of the 3 that were on the team last year that didn't play a down. turnover tommy rees is suspended for the game - what a game to get suspended for. the one in ireland. whoops.
ReplyDeleteyou heard the man. jackass it up, ladies and gentlemen.
ReplyDeletethe stat of the day - this qb i speak of, everett golson? in the history of high school football, there are only 5 players that have thrown more touchdowns during their career. now, he could step on his pee pee in ireland but either way, he can throw the potato.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.clevelandbrowns.com/team/depth-chart.html
TR- I was just in the Gap picking up a dress my wife wanted for the shit machine. They have lots of those snappy colored pants you liked from earlier this week. Get on it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Dan- isn't Rees suspended for a DUI? Funny that he'll miss the game in Ireland because he likes the sauce too much. Also, not saying Golson can't play, just wondering what level and state he played in. Those things can dramatically effect a player's career stats. John Brantley left HS as Florida's all time TD leader. But he played for a small private school that ran a dink & dunk spread offense. And I think we all know how that turned out.
Now seriously folks, get to jackassin'!
not a dui but something dumb nonetheless. he ran from police that were busting up a college party. was actually tackled by an officer who at the time said he was assaulted. anyway - he got off w/a misdemeanor. but yeah, he was hammered. f'n college kids drinking and shit.
ReplyDeletedon't know a lot about golson's high school and their competition. maybe rob does - myrtle beach h.s. they were a 2-time state champ in 3A. stud hoopster too. but not getting my hopes up here. i'm out of the nd high-expectations business.
Ah, yes. I remember reading about that this summer. Why run from the cops that are busting a college party? You'll be at a party that cops break up approximately 100+ times a year if you're an average regularly partying college student. I bet he had blow on him. If so...I am a Tommy Rees fan. It doesn't heard that I also really like red zone interceptions.
ReplyDeleteyou jackasses can't even jackass right
ReplyDeletewell the other guy with him at the time was fellow teammate carlo calabrese. from new jersey. may have had some smack on 'em too.
ReplyDeletegive us a sample rob ya douchenozzle.
ReplyDeleteis that what you mean?
mo isom is probably the hottest player to get cut by an fbs program this year. probably.
ReplyDeleteshe is purrtee.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't jackassery or cancer preaching, but I just found out I will be heading to Bama-Michigan for work. Bringing some clients. My company's CEO is the super-booster of all super-boosters in Bama. Apparently Saban and him roll in the company jet a lot.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if I will be in a box or not, but very excited to see the stadium. I've always liked Georgia more than other SEC teams, but I now have a selfish interest in Bama.
come on in, tr, water's just fine. tastes like...victory. tinged with just a little bit of corner cutting.
ReplyDeletePUSC?
ReplyDeleteYou always liked Georgia? Because you're partial to milquetoast offenses and unmet expectations? Or because of the chance to wear bright red pants in public? Hope you know that I have to hate you now.
ReplyDeleteAnd the stadium is sick. I was there in 2005 for the Tyrone Prothro game. Not a very fun experience (Gators got WAXED) but the crowd is great and the stadium is very big. You'll have a very good time. Take it easy on the brown liquor early in the day.
Tr...i like football and i am a potential client. Oil and energy shit is awesome.
ReplyDeleteRob is claiming food poisoning at the OBFT???? I have heard everything now. Rob weighs less than he has in 20 years, drank the same ridiculous amount that we have at the OBFT for 20 years, ate the same exact food from the same exact restaurant as the other 15 guys, and alleges food poisoning. That is awesome. He didn't puke under the house Friday night for like the first time ever, and he had a brutal hangover. (He did puke from the john on Saturday, of course.) Dude... stop dropping lbs like you're trying to fit into a size 2 prom dress, start sucking it up, and stop blaming Tortuga's for your tummy ache.
ReplyDeletei've had hangovers. i know hangovers. that, my friend, was no hangover.
ReplyDeleteand josh beckett may soon be out of boston. hallefuckinglujah.
Beckett is a badass in the playoffs. It would be foolish to get rid of him.
ReplyDeleteI wrapped up a hellacious stretch at work today. Came home early. Plowed through all my dale's. Now on to the porkslap. Maybe Booker's late night. Bacon pizza is en route. And I didn't have to use my AK.
ReplyDeleteReally great hustle by Zman tonight. Also, I'm not doubting Robs food poisoning claim (I'm not necessaryily buying it either) but he's definitely a bit manorexic these days. I told him as much at the Teej nuptials.
ReplyDeleteI will send rob a bacon pizza later tonight.
ReplyDeleteI just spent the last 15 minutes explaining the basics of football to my stepdaughter. Think I made some progress. I will not face this issue when my daughter is 10. We're starting early.
ReplyDeleteAnyone watching 20/20
ReplyDeleteMy wife is. Would you like to speak to her?
ReplyDeletedoing an 8-mile super spartan race tomorrow. hoping my lighter frame is enough to compensate for my complete lack of upper body strength.
ReplyDeleteSuper Spartan is insane. Get a tetanus shot beforehand.
ReplyDeleteJust looked up the Super Spartan race. That seems pretty aggressive.
ReplyDeleteNo Mark. But thanks. Maybe tomorrow. One of the more fucked up stories.
ReplyDeleteOn the topic of UGA, Herschel Walker was the tits in the early 80's. He, Keith Byars and Chris Spielman were my first favorite players. Never had a favorite college team. Have liked several programs over the years, but never had a real team to root for. Rutgers doesn't count.
ReplyDeleteI used to work for the local minor league baseball team. During the offseason, Kelly Slater always had a celebrity softball game at our Stadium. Herschel Walker's long time wife (now ex-wife) is from Cocoa Beach so he regularly played in the game.
ReplyDeleteMy boss (UGA grad) had me show Herschel to his car after the game one year. Got to talk to him for 5 minutes or so. Really nice, soft spoke guy. Even laughed when my boss called me out as a Gator over the radio. And he was a fucking monster at UGA.
If you haven't seen it, find the SEC Storied on Herschel. One hour documentary. Good.
ReplyDeleteQuality spelling by me.
ReplyDeleteThe best high school program in my area (Cocoa High) and recent back to back to back state champs are playing on ESPN right now. Check them out. Lots of athletes.
ReplyDeleteHave been watching some of that.
ReplyDeleteTarean Folston, the tailback from Cocoa, is quite talented.
ReplyDeleteIn other Cocoa related news, I scored my high school career high (26) at Cocoa during my senior year.
Yeah...he's got offers from everyone apparently.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess all the athletes just play football? Couldn't resist.
zing!
ReplyDeletefinished sparta with only moderate physical damage. that motherfucker is a motherfucker.
They won a state basketball title a few years back too Dan. Asshole. But yeah, most of their best athletes do play football.
ReplyDeleteryan lochte trademarked the word 'jeah'. i'm starting to think he might be a douchebag.
ReplyDeleteMichael Phelps trademarked the word "cochte."
ReplyDeleteI took my stepdaughter paddlebaording today. Stepped on an oyster shell while there and sliced the bottom of my foot open. So that's pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteNot much defense in the US final of the LLWS.
ReplyDeleteIn connection with what did he trademark it? What commerce does he engage in that entitles him to a mark?
ReplyDeleteRIP Neil Armstrong.
ReplyDeleteJust watched Hunger Games. Cool flick.
ReplyDeleteneat
ReplyDeletenot much better than being awoken at 6:15 by your wife after a really good drunk. stupid kids and their activities.
ReplyDeleteso i guess by waiting too long and not ordering lunch on friday, i avoided food poisoning. and i could some food poisoning, because the obft/ beach week combo added ten pounds to my frame . . . obviously cornhole is not aerobic.
ReplyDelete