I'll try to dumb it down after the last post . . . you may have heard that Subway is trying to copyright the term "footlong" in association with its twelve inch sandwiches. They recently sent a "cease and desist" letter to The Coney Island Drive Inn, a restaurant in Brooksville, Florida, that sells "footlong" hot dogs. After explaining that Subway "has applied for the trademark FOOTLONG (TM) in association with sandwiches," the letter says:
You are hereby put on notice to cease and desist from using FOOTLONG (TM) association with sandwiches. You must immediately remove all references to FOOTLONG (TM) in association with sandwiches.
You can read the letter in its entirety and more on this case here.
What you may not have heard is that I, Mr. Truck, have also received a "cease and desist letter" from Subway. The odd thing about this letter is that Subway is threatening legal action if people (especially young nubile women) do not immediately stop calling me Mr. Footlong. In no way did I encourage this nick-name, and if anyone is calling me this, it is completely without my knowledge or premeditation. It is simply how God made me. Here is an excerpt of the letter:
I do not want to be involved in a costly lawsuit, and I have heard there are some products available on the Internet that will remedy this situation. Perhaps then the ladies will change my nickname to Mr. Cubit.
You can read the letter in its entirety and more on this case here.
What you may not have heard is that I, Mr. Truck, have also received a "cease and desist letter" from Subway. The odd thing about this letter is that Subway is threatening legal action if people (especially young nubile women) do not immediately stop calling me Mr. Footlong. In no way did I encourage this nick-name, and if anyone is calling me this, it is completely without my knowledge or premeditation. It is simply how God made me. Here is an excerpt of the letter:
Dear Mr. Truck:
You are hereby put on notice to cease and desist from allowing sexually attractive women to use the term MR. FOOTLONG (TM) in association with your turgid genitalia, tally-wacker, prong, et al. You must immediately dispel all such rumors and references to MR. FOOTLONG (TM) in association with this matter.
You are hereby put on notice to cease and desist from allowing sexually attractive women to use the term MR. FOOTLONG (TM) in association with your turgid genitalia, tally-wacker, prong, et al. You must immediately dispel all such rumors and references to MR. FOOTLONG (TM) in association with this matter.
I do not want to be involved in a costly lawsuit, and I have heard there are some products available on the Internet that will remedy this situation. Perhaps then the ladies will change my nickname to Mr. Cubit.
http://tinyurl.com/25ktyql
ReplyDeleteI hear that "Nick the Dick" from Bachelor Party fame is also being sued.
ReplyDeleteIs this why people keep calling me Mr. Angstrom? I thought it was due to my fondness for Updike.
ReplyDeletewe're trying to dumb it down here, zman.
ReplyDeleteis the teej mr. truck? i missed that somehow, speaking of dumbing down.
ReplyDeleteI received a similar letter from the gherkin pickle people.
ReplyDeletesunmaid raisins for me
ReplyDeleteTR got an angry letter from Matt Groening regarding the "Mayor Quimby" mark. TR reluctantly stopped using the mark in commerce, but continues to be the main Quimby.
ReplyDeleteI actually have no idea what the word quimby means. I pay little attention to what most of you all type with your stubby proletariat fingers.
ReplyDeleteQuimby is the middle man in a soul train.
ReplyDeleteso the super bowl is going to ny in '14....will have to pass on that one.
ReplyDeleteMr. Truck is not the Teej. Come on d-train, I think you can solve this caper on your own.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are like Gremlins.
ReplyDeleteI don't truck with no sissies.
ReplyDeleteJerry, do you mean that it's a bad idea to get us wet, or a really bad idea to feed us after midnight? Or do you mean we are like crappy cars of the 1970's?
ReplyDeletei think he means the legendary creatures from WWII that were blamed for any mechanical failures on planes . . . as seen in "nightmare at 20,000 feet."
ReplyDeleteMR TRUCK!
That was William Shatner right?
ReplyDeleteI like this Mr. Truck character's style.
ReplyDeletethere might only be room enough on this blog for one of us, igor.
ReplyDeleteMR. TRUCK!
Apparently, they just reported that Subway is declaring a Cease and Desist on any people named Jared as well. In related news, Jared Jeffries has officially renamed himself That Feeble, Fragile Guy With Little To No Game.
ReplyDeleteJared Allen is going by "Dewey" before his counter-suit is resolved.
Easy there, Mr. Truck. We can all get along. We can even all get a . . . FOOTLONG™!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd that's you do a trademark symbol, Mr. Suck™.
OGIR!!!! (inadevertent typo left in)
dammit, igor, how did you make that little TM?
ReplyDeletei wanted to do that in my post . . .
foiled this time, but beware of:
MR. TRUCK!
Do I have to change my name now too? This is getting ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteAs is my injury situation, it's apparently a herniated disc in my neck. The doctor is talking about steroid injections in said neck and a month or two of rehab. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out if I can get some free weed out of this. Seriously though, why can't some big oaf like TJ get injured? That asshole doesn't even like exercise.
Sucker. That's what you get for doing this "exercise" thing.
ReplyDeleteTeej is an abbreviation of an abbreviation. Where does it end?
ReplyDeleteI don't know Jerome. When does it?
ReplyDeleteI went back to basics.
ReplyDeleteI'm all about free swag. So this, http://tinyurl.com/29p49tq , just made my decision to pre-order the new Blitzen Trapper album easier.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm absolutely convinced you guys just make these bands up.
ReplyDeleteteej, quiz. which of the following is not an actual band:
ReplyDeletefuck buttons
lcd soundsystem
demon unicorn
black rebel motorcycle club
I'll guess "fuck buttons", because as awesome as that name is I could see marketing being a bit of a problem.
ReplyDeleteand yet:
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck_Buttons
I'll be damned...I think I have a new favorite band.
ReplyDeletedemon unicorn is, as of this writing, not an actual band. that is subject to change as soon as mr. truck decides he needs a side project. (there's a hint for dan)
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's this band:
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfish_Cunt
Not sure why, but Mr. KQ thought I'd like them.
LCD Soundsystem has a new album that's supposed to be good. The new BRMC, not so much.
ReplyDeleteI saw Demon Unicorn open for Disaster Area at the End of the Universe.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, Mark Teixeira becaume the 5th player to hit 25+ HR in each of his first 7 seasons. I could only guess one of the other four.
ReplyDeleteZman, the Family Guy TR referenced is on the Cartoon Network at 11:30 tonight. The 11pm episode is a keeper, too. Meanwhile, the Family Guy on my local Fox station now is perhaps my favorite. ("Wasted Talent"). You can't escape, Z, Peter Griffin will get you.
ReplyDelete