Why's that you ask? Because there will be no Kobayashi/Chestnut Showdown on Coney Island this year. In what is being described as a "professional injury" (does that make this Ian Snell snafu an "unprofessional injury"?), Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi has suffered a severe jaw injury due to his rigorous training (?). By rigorous training I can only imagine he means stuffing hundreds of hot dogs in his face for days at a time...is it any wonder the guy hurt himself? I almost choked to death the other night putting two Wendy's chicken nuggets in my mouth at once. This guy makes a living downing 53 and 3/4 hot dogs in 12 minutes and yet can't stay healthy. Imagine that.Kobayashi says he can only open his mouth to make a gap the size of a fingertip after being diagnosed with jaw arthritis (you might recognize this "injury" as a prescribed weight loss technique in Beverly Hills). Had enough of my crack reporting...well why not turn to the man himself...
Oh right, it's in Japanese (nice mimicking of the Nathan's banner Takeru). Well, according to this article, he had this to say:
"My jaw refused to fight any more."
I think that says it all. Rest up Kobayashi...there will be plenty of hot dogs, cow brains and rice balls for you to devour in the future.
That is disturbing.
ReplyDeleteIt is comforting to know that through the magic of the interwebs even people that live far away from you are able to access your website. Even the other side of the moon.
ReplyDeleteAnd really, when you think spirituality, you think blog post about dude who eats hot dogs for a living.
ReplyDeleteWow. Here at G:TB we have spouted about an extremely diverse array of topics over the years, but if there's one place we haven't gone, it's delving into spirituality.
ReplyDeleteThere was the brief foray into "WWGhD" merchandise, but alas, that failed miserably.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think jaw arthritis, I think jaw "sprituality". Well, at least the part of spirituality that requires one to be on their knees.
ReplyDeleteMike Bibby or Henry Bibby?
ReplyDeleteJesus Flores, or Jesus Colome?
ReplyDeleteTom Flores or Gil Flores?
ReplyDeleteFeels like another comedy pyramid is afoot.
ReplyDeleteI'm still chuckling at Tom Flores getting a mention here.
ReplyDeleteI think Kobayashi is scared. He has turned back all the big, fat "american style" challengers like the guy who works for the MTA. However, notw hes is facing sombody that is like him. Chesnut is from the Kobayashi school of eaters. Last year Chesnut gave Kobi his first real challenge, and this year he has only gotten stronger. I think Kobiayashi knew he was going to lose and did not want to be embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteI would be interested to see what or resident competitive eater, Timmy Rez, has to say about this.
Gil Flores or Gil Gerard?
ReplyDeleteI consider myself to be the Lincoln Hawk of competitive eating. I lurk in the shadows, taking on competitors when necessary. I spend the rest of my days driving my rig and fighting Robert Loggia for custody of my spoiled brat son.
ReplyDeleteWasn't hardcore legend Terry Funk in that movie?
ReplyDeleteI drive truck, break arms, and arm wrestle. It's what I love to do, it's what I do best.
ReplyDeleteGerard Depardieu or Gerard Billingham?
ReplyDeleteFuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Ron would just love Minnesota:
ReplyDeleteAccording to a league source, Minnesota may try to swing a deal for Ron Artest if it keeps Kevin Garnett.
Not as much as Minnesota will love Ron.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what Biby Cletus has to say about this...Biby, you still there?
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm more interested in the thoughts of Cletus the slack jawed yokel.
ReplyDeleteSome folk'll never eat a skunk
ReplyDeleteand then again some folk'll,
like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
Most folk'll never lose a toe
and then again some folk'll,
like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
I think the Wizards would be ecstatic if Nick Young fell to them at #16...
ReplyDeleteIts not really what they need but that he'd represent tremendous value at 16. Plus, his addition would make Jarvis Hayes that much closer to being nothing more than a pinful memory.
ReplyDeletePlease ignore "that" in my first sentence. Just trying to pick up the slack in Geoff's absence.
ReplyDeleteShould we keep "pinful" in?
ReplyDeleteYeah. Go ahead. It's a little slow in Florida today so I figure I'll make up a few words this afternoon to pass the time.
ReplyDeleteThnska Mrak.
ReplyDeleteYeah.
ReplyDeleteHey Dennis, how about your boy Cristian Guzman?
ReplyDeleteKudos to Winning the Turnover Battle for their #9 pick.
ReplyDeleteWow, a lottery pick. Very impressive.
ReplyDeleteMy posse is gonna be stoked...
ReplyDeleteMembers of Gheorghe's posse:
ReplyDeleteBilly Crystal
Rod Strickland
An interpreter
Jack Wagner
Kobayashi's jaw used to be a magnet for foodstuffs. Now it has been banished to the land of wind and ghosts.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Kobayashi was scared, his mother passed away in March, he stopped training for quite a while. When he resumed, he was probably pushing himself too hard, which caused this injury. He will always be the champ!
ReplyDeleteDennis just gave me this heads up:
ReplyDeleteNationals optioned outfielder Brandon Watson to Triple-A Columbus.
Are you fucking kidding me Jim Bowden? You stupid fucking moron. Nook Logan is the answer I guess? Oh wait, Ryan Langerhans is the better option? Let's just platoon these two budding superstars he must be saying to himself. Asshole. Is firejimbowden.com already taken?
Totally dude.
ReplyDelete