With all apologies to the fine gents at Fire Joe Morgan…

...I simply could not in good conscience let this slide. Maybe it’s the fact I’m still in my office right now, maybe it’s the lack of anything good to read on the interweb today, but I find myself compelled to pick on the functionally retarded “work” of ESPN.com’s John Kruk:

THOSE ENIGMATIC REDS

There is absolutely no chance in hell John Kruk knows what “enigmatic” means, let alone how to spell it. He definitely shakes down Tim Kurkjian in the hallways for snappy columnette titles.

Right now the Reds are one of the hottest teams in baseball, and it's extremely hard to pinpoint why that is after poring over their stats.

Ok, John, since you're too lazy to click a mouse, let me give it a shot – THEY’RE SECOND IN THE NL IN RUNS SCORED. SECOND IN OBP. SECOND IN SLUGGING % AND FIRST IN OPS. What in god’s name are you talking about, fat man? And wait a second, he spelled pouring wrong…good god... [EDITOR'S NOTE: I spelled it wrong...Kruk's assistant spelled it right. But he's still a moron.]

They are one of the worst defensive teams in the league, they don't pitch particularly well and they strike out too much. That isn't the normal recipe for success in baseball.

Hey JACKASS! Yes, you. 7th in the league in ERA, 6th in WHIP, FIRST in K/BB and, most importantly, FIRST in Wins. When my staff includes such luminaries as Aaron Harang, “Hector” Elizardo Ramirez and Eric Milton, I’d say the numbers above are pretty impressive.

Somehow this team has been able to thrive without any of the normal ingredients for a great season. The Reds have a lot of power in their lineup and can hit the ball out of the park from anywhere in their lineup. Heck, even Bronson Arroyo has a couple dingers this season. Cincy's pitching staff understands what it needs to do to win games. They know they can give up five runs and still get a W because the offense is capable of putting up eight or nine runs.

Well, let’s see. They’re a run-scoring juggernaut who adequately holds the opposition in check...seems like a successful strategy to me.

This team plays with confidence. Every time they step on the field, they believe they are going to win. They smartly imported a couple of veterans who'd been in winning situations before, such as Rich Aurilia, Scott Hatteberg and Eric Milton. Those are guys who've been in the playoffs and know what sacrifices it takes to get there.

I know what he's going for here, but when I think veteran leaders with solid playoff experience I don't think Rich Aurilia (13 postseason games), Scott Hatteberg (14 postseason games) and Eric Milton (started 2 games in the postseason).

If this team keeps up its unorthodox, winning ways, we could see those three veterans in another postseason series.

Thanks, great finish. Can't wait to see those donkeys in October.