Friday, July 10, 2026

Gheorghe-Bait, Election Edition

We live in an era of maximalist crazy, politically-speaking. For once, I'm not actually talking about the good ol' U S of A. Across the pond, an upcoming by-election (defined as an election taking place between general elections to fill a vacant seat - you may know them from their star turn as special elections here) in England pits a fascist against a noble garbage bin. 

Nigel Farage is one of the worst people on the planet. The leader of the UK's Reform Party, he's been a Member of Parliament representing Clacton since July 2024. Clacton is a coastal constituency that skews old and homogeneously white (96.1% white, to be precise). Convenient locale for a politician who specializes in racist anti-immigrant appeals. And he's been racist from way back: his high school classmates penned an open letter to him in 2025 demanding that he apologize for his racist behavior back in the day.

As a long-time Euroskeptic, Farage was a leading voice in the movement for Britain to leave the European Union in 2020. He's palled around with Trump and French right-winger Marine Le Pen. Like Trump, he's corrupt as shit, currently under investigation for various financial shenanigans, including taking a €5m "gift" from a crypto billionaire. Unlike, Trump, he seems to prefer his greed on a modest scale - wouldn't want to be gauche, after all.

Last week, in a ploy to bolster his party's electoral ambitions, Farage resigned his seat in Parliament and announced plans to stand once again in the by-election forced by his actions. In his words, he took the action as a rejection of the fake news of his corrupt behavior, saying, “I have decided that the people of Clacton will be the judges of my actions. This will be a people versus the establishment by-election.”

The other leading parties were less than impressed by Farage's gambit, refusing to play along. One by one, they announced that they would refuse to stand a candidate in the race. 

Which left an unlikely opponent to square off with Farage in the August 13 contest. Friends, I give you Count Binface.

The creation of satirist Jonathan David Harvey, Binface is a frequent candidate across the U.K., an "independent space warrior" who runs to promote electoral participation, among other things. In an recent BBC interview, he articulated a series of policy positions that included building at least one affordable house, nationalizing Adele, and "of course, moving the hand dryer in the gents toilet in the Crown and Treaty pub Axbridge to a more sensible position because as you know it's a national issue."

Come on good people of Clacton. You know what to do. And we're all counting on you. Up the Binface!

11 comments:

  1. I’m spending my last night in the current epicenter of US political fuckery. In laws are getting spammed with fundraising texts from people wanting to replace platner.

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  2. That play is why loads of people dismiss soccer as pussy pageantry cloaked as sport. Sorry!

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  3. Welp, that’s the system working. I like that call.

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  4. Uh, Lindsey Graham died?!

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  5. that news already made it to africa? ain’t that something?

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  6. live your life so people don't gleefully talk shit about you after you're gone. that's a lesson lindsey graham taught me today.

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  7. Hey Rootsy, just read that CNN listed Roanoke as one of its 10 best small towns to visit. Cited outdoors and hiking, walkable downtown and growing food scene as attractions. Does rating strike you as fair assessment, or is it drive-by hype?

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  8. Dave, I’d agree that hiking is great and downtown is walkable, with some other cool walkable neighborhoods too.

    Not sure how fast the food scene is growing, but we have some great restaurants that are better than you’d expect for a city this size.

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  9. Also, great printing and papal ballots

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  10. another possible retirement town! how hot does it get in the summer?

    also, how did that lady keep a straight face, while interviewing binman?

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  11. man, sam neill passed away. that sucks.

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