Mark sent me a text last week about a kid he played pickup hoops with getting an invite to the Sixers' summer league squad, which led me to ask him about the best player he ever competed against. His answer, which I'll let him provide in the comments, is a far, far bigger star and better athlete than anyone I've ever battled.
We'll start with athletics for me, and the list is fairly brief and unspectacular, though it does include an Olympian. In chronological order, then:
When I was in 8th grade, I was a backup winger on the Fred Lynn (not that Fred Lynn) Middle School varsity soccer team. The starter at my position became a four-year starter in high school and broke the state record for career goals before going on to William & Mary and doing the same things - started all four years, broke the school record for goals scored. Rebecca Wakefield was a badass.
As a senior in high school I played #3 singles on the tennis team. I got bumped up to #2 for a match against our arch-rival and got my ass absolutely kicked by a kid who went on to play for Seton Hall. In an amazing coincidence, I ended up working with him a few years after grad school, and went down to his club to hit with him, where he beat me 6-0, 6-0 - and it wasn't even that close. The fact that he was a colossal dickhead was no salve.
A decade or so ago, my neighborhood friends and I had a regular Sunday morning pickup hoops run at the local rec. We were occasionally joined by a 6'6" guy who played at the Air Force Academy. Dude could shoot it from 30 feet without trying hard, and was strong as hell to boot. And a gigantic prick, just the worst kind of on-court bully. One of my favorite memories was pump-faking him and blowing by to hit a game-winning layup while he was absolutely lining me up to smack the ball into the next county. Suck it, dickface.
Meager, mine. Let's hear about yours in the comments. Or better yet, post it up for the betterment of the count. And if you don't have great sporting stories, how about the best musicians you've ever been on a bill with? Or the best sportswriters you've shared a press row with? Or the best drinkers you've ever bellied up to a bar alongside? You've got options, people.
I did gin snorts with an Olympic gold medalist and world record holder.
ReplyDeleteIt seems a shame that two links were required for Zman's entry. At least the guy's wiki page could have had a gin snorts section.
ReplyDeleteI was the top golfer on my high school team in 10th and 11th grade, until I was unseated senior year by my freshman younger brother.
Darren Sharper dunked over me in the rec center during an intramural game. He got a technical for it (dumb intramural rule) but it was basically Vince Carter over Frederic Weis. If there had there been a photographer there they could have made it into a poster.
ReplyDeleteSharper could have used that poster to hide chipping away at his prison cell wall.
Marls = Rita Hayworth. Or Ursula Andress?
ReplyDeleteRaquel Welch
ReplyDeleteCarl Parker dunked on me in a pickup game at the rec center, I think rootsy was there. Parker and I were on the same team for the previous game and he only shot threes so after he posterized me I said "Where was that last game?!?" He didn't appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteIn middle school I once played Dungeons & Dragons with Damon Lindelof. In high school I helped Peter Wade install a sound card in his computer and we used it to do stupid things with sound and music.
What say you, fuzzy britches?
ReplyDeleteThe nerds of the Neck have done well for themselves.
i've read 15 of the new york times' 100 best books of the 21st century. best get to reading, i guess. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/books/best-books-21st-century.html#book-100
ReplyDeleteWpuldn't it be easier to quit reading the NYT?
ReplyDeleteLarger point: Such lists are pretty much about chasing clicks and validating their own already over-inflated sense of importance. Which I'm guessing you understand.
Is NYT the site that has the cool games? I stopped paying for their new products a few months ago, but the puzzlers in my house need their entertainment.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember Z or Marls getting dunked on, so I'm dubious that it really happened.
I used to go regularly to Merlefest, after meeting a guy who came each year and made camp in a very convenient, and completely unauthorized campsite on the Wilkes County Community College campus. This guy would drive his truck down from New York, loaded with firewood and multiple coolers full of food for the week. He was friendly with a Merlefest staffer who drove Doc Watson around the festival, so this rogue campsite wansn't a total secret.
One afternoon, we were hanging around the campfire and this staffer drives up on a golf cart with the man, the myth, the legend : Doc Watson. Doc was a blind musical virtuoso, so he didn't call us out on the campsite, but he did pull up a chair and sit down. Many of the others around told Doc how much they appreciated him. I was rendered speechless, but content to sit in the man's presence for a few minutes.
It happened to me! Ask Juan Moritz. It was during the summer we lived on Braxton.
ReplyDeletetotal clickbait, dave. but i kinda wanted to see what i've missed.
ReplyDeleteBelated RIP to Monte Kiffin. He played an enormous role in making my life as an NFL fan worth something after two decades of absolute misery. Architect of the most underrated defense in NFL history.
ReplyDeletenumerous spectators at the tour de france are wearing full cycling kits, including spandex bike shorts. that's like wearing a full uniform with pads to a football game. quelle preposterous.
ReplyDeletePerhaps they cycled to get there?
ReplyDeletePoint, Rootsy
ReplyDeleteClickbait always sounds like a dirtier word to me than it really is
ReplyDeletethere is no way these amateur dorks cycled up a 10% gradient to get to a place where they could pester professional cyclists on a climb.
ReplyDeleteRIP Dr. Ruth
ReplyDeleteshe was a hip, hip lady
ReplyDeleterichard simmons joins dr. ruth in front of st. peter. that's gonna be a weird conversation.
ReplyDeletejesus, we lost dave loggins, too. kenny's second cousin. you know him as the guy who. composed the masters theme song, or as my wife calls it, the anthem of spring.
ReplyDeleteOr as I call it, the greatest nap song of all time. Speaking of which, got myself a good nap today. Best thing about the dead spot of sports of July-August.
ReplyDeletewe're going out to dinner with our kidlet tonight, and my wife wanted to 'look cute'. so we're slightly more dressed up than usual. my daughter looked at us and said, 'it's giving social liberal and fiscally conservative'. which amused me.
ReplyDeleteTrump got shot? Doesn’t look like it did much if so
ReplyDeleteClip I saw looked like the most staged pro wrestling shit ever.
ReplyDeleteSo, we are minimizing political violence?
ReplyDeleteI hate the big orange bag of shit, but JFC.
I apologize- that was a bad take.
ReplyDeletewhat a fucking mess.
ReplyDeletejust saw someone online say 'you'll never regret something you don't post'. wisdom. now only zman will know what my first reaction was, and he'll never tell.
ReplyDeleteI had the same initial reaction as rootsy because it seemed so improbable that he would be grazed on the ear, of all places, and no one else would be hurt. Then I learned that other people were hurt. It's awful.
ReplyDeleteI will say that everyone condemning political violence (e.g., McConnell, Hannity, Ingraham) should not forget about January 6 when they list out all the terrible political violence of the past 60 years.