It's the Money You Moron

We had such high hopes for Gianni Infantino. When the Swiss native took over the lead role at FIFA after Sepp Blatter's reign of crass fuck-you-pay-me corruption we were taken in by his cuddly comments on his love of the game and seeming support of the women's side of the world's sport. 

We were so naive. (We, obviously, is me. I don't want to admit it, so I'll paint you into the picture with my grammatical wizardry.)

The global soccer community has watched as FIFA has played men's World Cups in Russia and Qatar (in fairness to Infantino, those rights were awarded (corruptly - so, so corruptly) before he took over), as FIFA kowtowed to the Qataris and squashed players' right to support gay rights, as Infantino offered a bizarre, rambling speech during that competition ("I feel African, I feel gay..."), as scores of migrant workers perished while building the stadia for that stained World Cup, as - in an amazing coincidence - Infantino moved to Doha, as the men's World Cup was expanded to 48 teams despite the complexity that adds to the competitive structure, as multiple federations failed to pay their 2023 Women's World Cup squads on time, and as the Spanish federation demonstrated its institutional misogny even as its team WON THE WORLD CUP.

All of that gross, nakedly corrupt institutional venality was in keeping with FIFA's legacy. And this month's news about the 2030 men's World Cup and the knock-on implications for the 2034 competition were of a slimy piece with everything that's come before, and even more so.

On October 4, FIFA announced that the 2030 World Cup will be hosted by Spain, Portugal, and Morocco. (The 2026 event will be held in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico.) And in a nod to the event being held on the 100th anniversary of the first World Cup in Montevideo, the tournament will kick off with a single game being hosted by each of Uruguay, Paraguay, and Argentina. 

Unwieldy, but interesting - that was my first thought. If the U.S., Canada, and Mexico can host, the more geographically compact trio of Spain, Portugal, and Morocco certainly can. And having another Cup on African soil is a positive...waiiiit just a goshdarn minute!

FIFA's rules stipulate that the same continent can't host consecutive World Cups, and with the 2026 event in North America, our continent is effectively sidelined for a while. And with FIFA's "celebratory" inclusion of three South American games in 2030 on top of the Moroccan addition, the field for 2034 has been reduced to Asia and Oceania. 

At the same time it announced the 2030 hosts, FIFA declared that bidding for the 2034 event would be closed next year, which is a departure from the previous plan to vote in 2027 or 2028. It also voted to reduce the number of fully-certified stadiums required of a host nation from seven to four.

In an astounding (non) coincidence, the day after the 2030 announcement, Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman released a statement expressing the kingdom's keen interest in hosting the 2034 event. Saudi Arabia, as it turns out, is in Asia. Who knew? [FIFA knew, duh.] Wanna guess how many fully-certified stadiums exist in Saudi Arabia?

Australia and New Zealand have been planning a bid for the 2034 Cup, and they're both eligible and proven, having just hosted a very successful women's event. They also have as much chance as Jamal Khashoggi did in that room.

I confess, friends, that I was surprised to see FIFA's corrupt machinations laid this bare. And then I was surprised that I was surprised. This isn't new, just grosser.

The headline of this post references a quote by the late Italian (and New York Cosmos) great Giorgio Chinaglia on the early days of SiriusXMFC as he described the state of the modern game a decade or so ago. The various shows on that platform use Chinaglia's audio of that quote to this day to cut through whatever confusing decision leagues and teams and FIFA make. It has never been more true than in describing FIFA's near-certain move to award its crown jewel to a repressive regime that's embarked on a guns-blazing campaign of sportswashing, splashing its unlimited cash to curry favor and gain legitimacy on the world stage.

I get it, but god damn I can't help but continue to find it disgusting.

Prolly still watch it, though, which I suppose is what FIFA understands best of all.