Settle in, boys and girls, for a tale of treachery, passive-aggressive Christianity, and stubborn resistance set amidst the rolling hills of the Virginia Piedmont.
As I've detailed at length in this space, I live in close proximity to a small town that affords me the substantial luxury of being able to walk to bars, restaurants, and shops. My dog, in particular, enjoys our daily perambulations in search of various canine treats. On most days, our trip to the downtown area starts with a shortcut across the broad fields of St. John the Apostle Catholic Church.
Our house is the last in a row of homes on a quiet cul de sac (as the diagram below indicates). The church and its 20 acres is our neighbor to the west. Given our proximity to the church (which is also close to a large town park that's just out of frame to the northwest in the accompanying map), people have been cutting through our yard to make their way through a small copse of trees for easier access to the church and points west since we moved into the house in December 2004. So much so that a clear desire path has been claimed from the trees over the years, worn by the feet of shortcut-seekers.
We didn't give much thought to the path until we got a dog. There was a large play structure in the open space immediately west of our house that the church used for their preschoolers at recess, and when our kids were little we'd occasionally use the path to get to that. Once in a while we'd cut through the trees to get to the town Halloween or Christmas parades. But it was mostly an afterthought.
Once we got the dog, though, our use of the trail became an everyday thing. For a while, there was a sign at the northernmost point of the church property (along the road at the top of the image above) that prohibited dog-walking. In the interest of honesty, I ignored it. But once the church tore down the play structure, they removed the sign, so I assumed the two things were linked.
For more than four years now, we've walked the dog on the church property, almost always using the little trail to cross the woods, then bang south along the perimeter to get to a road that leads into town (as marked above). We would occasionally see the church's maintenance team mowing, edging, cutting down branches, etc, and I'd wave and usually get a wave in response.
Last autumn, though, things took a weird turn.
As I headed out to take the dog on our daily, I reached the path to find that someone had piled a wagonload of leaves upon it. It was unquestionably intentional, given the location. "Well that's a dick move," I said to myself and proceeded to stomp over it and proceed on my way.
The feet of people and dogs slowly wore the leaves down until they were nothing more than a soft rug covering the path, until three months ago or so. I'd asked the church to remove a tree that had fallen and come to rest upon our neighborhood's fence. After a few weeks of radio silence, they eventually took care of it, clearing out a significant number of other trees in the process. Coincidentally (or, actually, not at all), a significant pile of brush from that effort wound up at the church-side entrance to the path, creating a second obstacle to human and canine foot traffic.
That ain't particularly Christian, is it?
My wife suggested I contact the church to complain, but that falls squarely in the category of issues you don't raise because you don't want to hear a particular answer. If they actively don't want people walking dogs or traversing their sprawling property (which, to be fair, is their right) despite years of custom, they can prohibit it more directly.
And so JoJo and I continued to use the path, now stepping up over the brush as we did so. Until last week, when the church's bizarre Three Little Pigs game entered its next phase.
We headed out one morning to find this:
That's the view headed from the path onto the church's meadow. JoJo is at right for size comparison. You're looking at a stick pile that's roughly two and a half feet high.
Here's a view from the other direction, headed back towards my house:
At this point, game on. I went back that evening and collected several armfuls of sticks to use as kindling for my fire pit, and resumed normal walking service. Since then, no new impediments have been added to the earthworks, though the church maintenance staff have been cutting down some pretty big trees of late, and it wouldn't surprise me to see them construct a brick wall that I won't be able to bypass.
Meanwhile, JoJo blissfully skitters around the property, sniffing and chasing foxes and squirrels, ignorant of the ongoing cold war. There are other ways I can get downtown, but none of them allow her to roam free for so long, as God himself intended. See, for example, Genesis 1:25, "And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good." At least that's my interpretation of the Scripture.
So I lay it unto you, Gheorghies. Am I the asshole for trespassing upon the church's bountiful fields to allow my dog to run and play (and taking care not to disturb any property, to clean my dog's messes, to leash her when people are about, and to be respectful of the grounds)? Or is the church acting unneighborly by piling obstacles in the way of a path that's been used peacefully for decades?
I'll hang up and listen.
I don’t think you are an asshole, but maybe you and the Church are both being a bit passive aggressive here. Really seems like adults should try to talk this out instead of fighting a war of botanical detritus. I know you are avoiding that because you don’t want to hear that they might be invoking their property rights but maybe you can work something out. Maybe they have a reason? Preschooler got bit by a dog, parents are complaint about rando middle aged dude wandering the property of the preschool, parishioners sick of stepping in dog shit (not JoJo’s which I’m sure you always pick up), or maybe they are just being passive aggressive jerks - Christians like everyone else aren’t immune to that.
ReplyDeleteI know it’s an inconvenience to you (and me for when I visit and want to head downtown for a beer) but not sure it is asshole behavior. I doubt you and Sam would be thrilled if a bunch of parishioners started cutting though the middle of your backyard to go to church each Sunday.
fair. but parishoners, teenagers, locals of all shapes and size cut through our yard on the way to the path on a regular basis. so long as they don't trash the place, i'm fine with it.
ReplyDeleteDo they cut thought the yard, or just along the fence line? Also, don’t you have a fence up in the back yard?
ReplyDeleteAlso, maybe it’s not you but the teenagers and locals of all shapes and sizes that the church/school is looking to stop from cutting across their property.
ReplyDelete"Fuck the church" is my response to all things churchly.
ReplyDeletethey cut through the yard. there's no way to get to the path otherwise. the fence that runs along my property line belongs to the neighborhood association. it has a gate that's usually left open (by me) and doesn't lock even when closed.
ReplyDeletez, i'll pass that message along.
ReplyDeleteHow about every time someone walks through their property, everyone’s encouraged to leave a little something in a collection plate they put out? (More of a secured strongbox, obvi.) Even a little pocket change could add up for them.
ReplyDeleteA chainsaw may end up being necessary if the roadblocks get bigger. I've got a 16" ego that can cut handle fairly sizable logs.
ReplyDeleteSo, first, is the “path” something that’s been created over the years to the church and town, meaning not by you and your dog alone? I think that’s what I understand from your post…if I’ve got that right, you’re saying people use the path to attend church, as well as go to town, walk their dogs, etc? If so, it doesn’t make sense they’re wanting to block it. Surely this church doesn’t want to impede anyone potentially coming to church?!
ReplyDeleteSecond, Z, is your sentiment just for Catholics or the church universal? And it’s fine, however, just curious.
Third, you’re right that asking them might get you an answer you don’t want. It shouldn’t, though. They’d be dumb to block ways for folks to get to/through their property really. Again, because church and welcoming, etc etc. But you never can tell —because people!
Did they take the playground down because they don’t have kids there anymore? How active a church is it —is it possible this parish is going to be closed? That could affect decisions about the property.
You could take the dog to go talk to the priest and hope he’s a dog-lover.
My ego is bigger than that
ReplyDeleteDonna, that was more of a gross fratguy joke than my sentiment, although I think the Catholic church did some shameful stuff (if you watch Spotlight). I do have a soft spot for Unitarians.
ReplyDeleteThis is a post late...
ReplyDeletethat single A team wakefield was on was the salem buccaneers. local rumor always was that he was messing around with his knuckleball in right field when he got noticed.
Now our affiliate is the red sox. I still see a few fans wearing a salem bucs wakefield t-shirt at the games.
My guess is the higher ups at the church aren't aware of this issue, or they would've put the no dogs sign back up.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably the work of a vigilante maintenance man that's tired of stepping in dog shit left behind less conscientious tresspassers
Way to walk it back, Zed. :)
ReplyDeleteDonna - interesting thing is this is probably the most active catholic parish in northern Virginia. I don’t attend the Catholic Church, but my mother does when she comes to visit. They do 6 Sunday masses and are all packed by reports. They did close the preschool during COVID and did not reopen but that may change.
It really feels like more of a risk management issue than a “get off my lawn” question. Downtown Leesburg now has a decent little bar scene. I would not be surprised if someone cutting through heading home after the bars did something stupid and ruined the shortcut for everybody. Of course, that does not solve Rob’s walking of JoJo issue.
my guess is that they removed the playground because a) it wasn't in great shape, b) they couldn't keep non-parishoners off of it during off-hours (see, liability), and c) there's an active ultimate frisbee group (that i assume includes parishoners) that plays on the field and for years played their games around the playground, which was amusingly insane.
ReplyDeleteI mostly come down in the Marls camp. Yeah, it's a mite dickish of them to block the path with debris, without signage. You probably need to have a face-to-face with one of the church honchos about usage and utility of the path, though don't mention that you're partial to Mithraism and how much you enjoyed "Spotlight."
ReplyDeleteThe other reason I think the priest isn’t aware of the situation is that it looks like a large property. with the playground being gone he’s got no reason to be over there
ReplyDeletethat’s top-notch, lumpy. top. notch.
ReplyDeletealso, dick butkus just got upstairs to hang with mca and do the ad rock verse from ‘get on the mic’. respect.
…and as such the Bears overachieved for him and crushed the Washington season. Good god, does that team I root for suck.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from… well, a ferry between Hatteras and Ocracoke. Wedding happening tomorrow, my buddy Colin going back for seconds. This could get ugly.
ReplyDeletethe wedding or the marriage?
ReplyDeleteOcracoke a darn fine destination. You could do worse than Dajio, Helio's Hideaway, Ocracoke Oyster Co., 1718 Brewery and accompanying kitchen on way into town. Howard's Pub overrated, IMHO. Salute.
ReplyDeletehi gheorghies
ReplyDeleteComing to you live from
ReplyDeleteTallahassee. My whole family (and plenty of other kids) are here at the tailgate. Pray for a Va Tech.
Win
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Whit. Hope ceremony and accompanying goofballery were primo.
ReplyDeletegheorghies! how we?
ReplyDelete