Let Me Clear My [Long-Assed] Throat

As reported by "Good Morning America" and other sources, Brights Zoo in Limestone, Tennessee is leaving the task of naming of a highly rare baby giraffe to the general public.  Sort of.

The giraffe's rarity owes to its spotlessness. No, not like Rob's arrest record or Zman's car floor -- it's stark lack of the same brown spots that its parents bear. It's the sort of thing that makes a father perk up and ask the mother where the hell she she was 15 months ago. (Sad answer: necking in another pasture.)

This adorable, spot-free giraffetus popped out on July 31. 

According to Brights:

"She is the only solid-colored reticulated giraffe living anywhere on the planet."

I had to check on that reticulated part. Yeah, the only one without spots. Nothing weird, people. 

But it is odd! Let's name her!

Oh, wait... you're simply choosing from four names predetermined by the zoo. Vote before September 4 on their Facebook page if you'd like. 

Your choices:

The names and their meanings in Swahili are below:

1. Kipekee - Unique
2. Firali - Unusual or Extraordinary
3. Shakiri - She is most beautiful
4. Jamella - One of great beauty

Vote today. 

For posterity, here are the Top 10 Names Not Selected as Finalists for the Baby Girl Giraffe with No Spots:

10. Plain Jane
 9. Spopposite
 8. Rudolpha
 7. Destiny (full name: Destined for Therapy)
 6. Teaneck
 5. Babs' Uvula
 4. Uneque
 3. Browntown
 2. Semigazelle
 1. Reticulaura

Write one of those in if you wish...