We know quite a bit around these parts about sports-fan futility. We've got Jets fans and Commanders fans and Jaguars fans and Knicks fans and, obviously, William & Mary hoops fans. But I don't think any of us are prepared to be fans of the U.S. Men's Team Handball squad.
Team Handball is the domain of European countries, by and large. South Korea is the only non-European nation to win an Olympic medal, a silver in Seoul in 1988. Qatar won silver in 2015 as the host of the International Handball Federation (IHF) men's world championships, marking the only time in the 27 editions of the competition that a non-European country medaled.
The sport's kinda like water polo without the water. Teams of seven (six field players and a goalie) attempt to throw a volleyball-sized ball into a net from outside a 6-meter semicircle. Players can hold the ball for up to three seconds before having to pass it or dribble it (a maximum of three times). It's fast-paced, physical, and high-scoring. Here's a handy primer:
Frankly, this is a sport Americans should dominate.
We do not.
In fact, before this week, the U.S. Men's Team Handball side had participated in six world championships (failing to qualify for 21), played 25 matches, and lost every single one. Our Olympic record is slightly better - we've won four, drawn one, and lost 30 in the six Games for which we qualified. We haven't made the Olympic field since 1996.
Team USA fell to Bahrain and Croatia before Belgium, 24-22, in their final match, doubling the USA's all-time win total. Pal Merkovszky was named man of the match. Way to go, Pal!
We'll be keeping a close eye on our handballers in the run-up to the 2028 Olympics. Because if we love anything, it's lousy sports teams. Go America!
Welcome to the party, Pal!
ReplyDeletei feel like i would have been good at this sport, back when my shoulder still worked.
ReplyDeletehow tall are team handball players? could rob and I dominate, or is more of a whitney sport?
it would seem that the sport favors those with longer levers, so we might be best advised to stick with soccer
ReplyDeletedammit. we couldn't sneak under or something? the goal is low . . .
ReplyDeleteWeird. I used to play handball a bit differently...
ReplyDeletemaybe we could be innovators, dave. they'd never see us coming.
ReplyDeleteWait, does Dave have a competitive streak?
ReplyDeleteHe does but he can't really compete. It's a quandary.
ReplyDeleteAlthough he wasn't awful in the mini today.
ReplyDeletefirst out of 20 in bar trivia this evening. no big deal.
ReplyDeleteNice work, whiz kid
ReplyDeletewhiz team, really. i contributed some hemingway and wayne’s world knowledge, as well as a working understanding of putrescence. takes a village.
ReplyDeleteHi guys
ReplyDeleteLoving Danimal’s late night pop ins.
ReplyDeleteAs am I. When Dry Jan ends, I need to pick up my game in the hi gheorghies department.
ReplyDeleteWas today's NYT mini the easiest in history? Had I been focused I think I could have done it sub 10 seconds. I fucked around and it took me 11.
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