Here's to America the beautiful. Hold her high this summer. #ThisBudsForYou pic.twitter.com/puATIxT0Th— Budweiser (@Budweiser) May 10, 2016
When I first read that Anheuser-Busch InBev, producers of Budweiser, had decided to temporarily rebrand their domestic swill* 'America', I assumed I'd inadvertently stumbled across The Onion. Then I realized that I was reading an actual news story.
* I'm contractually required by the Union of American Beer Snobs to refer to Budweiser in this manner, though it's a generally inoffensive if bland mass market lager.
My very next thought was, "I bet this has something to do with Trump." And according to the presumptive** Republican Presidential nominee himself, it sure does.** We're also required to call him the presumptive nominee until he actually receives the nomination this summer. This allows the GOP elite to pretend that they haven't let the Wildlings through their party's Wall and into the Seven Kingdoms.
For a blog about William & Mary basketball and dipshittery, I'm pretty proud of what we've written about this election thus far. Our takes on Trump's rise, and the inexplicable and scary rise in the death rate of middle class Americans stand up to at least modest scrutiny, even if they have a few naughty words. Trump has very clearly tapped into a vein of fervent nationalism wrapped in fear of an uncertain future and loathing of the others that seem to be increasingly in charge.
Into this bizarre mix steps Ricardo Marques, vice president of Budweiser. His explanation for the rebranding strains credulity. Says Marques, "We are embarking on what should be the most patriotic summer that this generation has ever seen, with Copa America Centenario being held on U.S. soil for the first time, Team USA competing at the Rio 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games,"I would buy this line of marketing bullshit, but for two things: 1) I spin lines of marketing bullshit for a living, and can see it coming from a mile away, and 2) Budweiser drinkers couldn't give two shits about a soccer tournament. Nice try, Belgy McBelgian.
No, this marketing campaign - which may well prove to be brilliant in terms of reversing the slide of America's once-dominant beer brand - is inspired by and catering to the rising nationalism stoked by Trump. And unless I miss my mark, America the brand will amplify Trump the candidate's message throughout the summer, peanut butter to his white chocolate. He'll hold cans up as props at rallies, telling us how A-B InBev recognized the path to America's greatness he promises. His supporters will buy it by the keg in symbolic support of the candidate and the country.
And the shitshow will roll on.
Winter is coming, friends, and I'm not sure anyone can stop it.
zman, global man of mystery like you hadn't tasted the sweet meat of the octopus? that shit is delicious. grilled, with a little olive oil and lemon. yes sir.
ReplyDeleteGeez. That is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteThe other night I had a bar bet with Clarence that I could recite the Budweiser creed. He allotted me three missed words - I missed one. It was drilled into me by a childhood buddy who learned to drink much earlier than the rest of us.
I'd probably go for some octopus meat before eating another cheesy western. Those things will hurt you.
Rootsy, I had a burger for lunch at Lew's on my way out of town yesterday, much to my own surprise. Good eats at that place, recommended. (And my friend's brother owns it.)
ReplyDeleteCheesy westerns at Texas Tavern = fat cat & cheese steak w/ egg at the greasetrucks = chili dogs and chili cheese fries at Ben's Chili Bowl = Igor's burger. Years off your life and wince-inducing the next day but at the time... a little slice of heaven on a cheap bun.
Octopi are delicious. When I was in Greece w/ the future missus in '05 (holy crap, that was a long time ago), many restaurants would hang the freshly caught (but dead) ones on strings overhead in the restaurant. I ate a lot of it in Greece, and as Rob said, a simple olive oil and lemon sauté works just fine. And those Greeks know their olive oil.
ReplyDeleteI ate that 'pus grilled with an eggplant and black olive puree and some 'nduja.
ReplyDeleteIn stark contrast to last night's exotic appetizer, my in-car iPod served up "The Righteous Path" on my way to work and I thought to myself "Huh, this is exactly what Trump's talking about. The Truckers were on to this 8 years ago."
So I'm writing in Patterson Hood for president. It makes as much sense as any of my other options.
And critical thinking can be a curse, Rob. How blissful life would be to say, America, F yeah, I want it on my Bud can, they make me feel like a true patriot.
ReplyDeleteAs it is, however, every day is a re-reading of The Emperor's New Clothes, and it ain't much fun to be the little kid who points out indecent exposure.
Much like Killer Mike, TR smokes the kush and beats the 'pus.
ReplyDeleteAnd Clarence on some think-piecey ish right there.
ReplyDeleteAnd Z, Cooley knows some stuff, too.
ReplyDeleteOnly simple men can see the logic in whatever
Smarter men can whittle down till you can fit it on a sticker
Get it stuck like mud and bugs to names that set the standard,
They'll live it like it's gospel and they'll quote it like it's scripture
Zman - did you eat at 12 Islands Greek Taverna in Stirling? It's a fantastic new Greek place.
ReplyDeletecrazy thing is that it's not just limited to simple men, at least in my 'hood. i've got an acquaintance who graduated from uva law, founded his own firm, sold it for $25m, really smart, if a bit eccentric. his pro-trump mantra is: trump's pro-US, and he won't take my guns - full stop. can't argue with that, there's no logic in the world that prevails over that entrenched mindset. all we can do is hope there are fewer of those fucking imbeciles that there are people who are willing to vote for the lesser of two evils. 'cause hillary's definitely that. shame on the democrats, by the way, for not offering a better alternative to rampant trumpism.
ReplyDeleteWhat other truly viable alternative was their for the Democrats, Rob? Biden could've been but he wanted no part of the Presidency.
ReplyDeleteI too would like to endorse Octopi as delicious. Had some fantastic grilled octopus when in Peru. One of many terrific dishes Greg and I shared at a top notch cevicheria in Lima.
Read that fast and thought Mark had endorsed Octopii for President. #Octopii2016
ReplyDeleteit's a fair point, mark. elizabeth warren would be an option, though some would write her off as too liberal. i bet she would've outperformed bernie, though, and i think she'd wax trump -she's got an economic populist message that would appeal to parts of his constituency. biden's an obvious one, too - as we've written here before, it bums me out that he didn't run. i guess my bigger point is that the dems have done a shitty job building a bench.
ReplyDeletean octopi in every pot. and pot in every pot, too.
ReplyDeleteTR, I copped that 'pus at Jockey Hollow.
ReplyDeleteOther Dems that people don't dislike as much as Hillary include Cory Booker, Mark Warner and Terry McAuliffe.
terry mcauliffe's got more skeletons than an oingo boingo video, and booker's a black, vegan, single dude, so he'd be a hard sell, though i like him a lot.
ReplyDeleteAs opposed to Hillary, who has no skeletons, diversity issues, or marital problems.
ReplyDeletei already said that hillary's a shitty candidate, man. what do you want from me?
ReplyDeleteI love Booker but can't see him as viable given the backlash our current liberal, black Preaident has engendered. Which, in many ways, spawned Trump's run.
ReplyDeleteWarren would be a decent option. And I think if she had been nominated she'd beat Trump soundly. The point you make about Dema not building quality depth is spot on though.
And I do endorse Octopii for a presidential run, TJ. 8 appendages lends itself to cromulent multitasking.
Jockey Hollow is an awesome/sad cougar den on weekend nights.
ReplyDeleteYeah, who wants a Rhodes Scholar with degrees from Stanford and Yale making important decisions on my behalf.
ReplyDeletevigorous choir-preaching on your part, z
ReplyDeleteIs Z not aware we're on his side here?
ReplyDeleteAlso, read this article on Reche Caldwell. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/15472532/how-reche-caldwell-googled-way-patriots-prison
I knew Reche at Florida. He was...not smart. Didn't think he was this clueless though.
I first witnessed someone willing to vocalize their support for Trump in January, when I was at an outdoor (!) wedding. In the last few weeks, those folks in my life who support Trump have come out of the woodwork, and it is as surprising who those folks in my life are as it is unsettling.
ReplyDeleteIs anyone else tired of the "Well, if [acting as president] he surrounds himself with smart people, he'll do fine" argument? Really, is that what we're relying on? Would we be okay with a guy who spent 6 weeks in medical school conducting spinal surgery as long as he was surrounded by surgeons?
back to clarence's earlier comment, i had a ben's chili bowl half smoke all the way at a nationals game on tuesday. it was as awesome as i'd expected it to be. and as a bonus, the nats won on a walk-off homer, right after bryce harper got ejected. good times.
ReplyDeleteMayhuge, I've heard the "He'll surround himself with smart people" argument before circa 2000-2008. I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to whether history indicates that this is a reliable plan.
ReplyDeleteharry reid came out swinging at trump on the senate floor today. on the one hand, good for him. on the other, the fact that dems are already running so hard against trump makes me wonder if they're worried more than we know. on the third hand, a massive rout makes democratic control of the senate a near-certainty, so maybe that's the game.
ReplyDeleteI'm used to hearing the phrase "in the lead at 9 under" for PGA tournaments. But not so much at 3 PM on a Thursday. Good job by you, Jason Day.
ReplyDeleteThere's gonna be some ridiculous scoring at this tourney.
i love octopus but i'm trying not to eat it as much because they're so intelligent. even smarter than oliver the pot-bellied pig (who had his head stuck in a cardboard box for over a year).
ReplyDeletealso, i've been trying locate an actual person in my vicinity, that i know or work with or whatever, that is voicing support for trump. haven't found anyone yet . . .
ReplyDeleteof course, you live in the most liberal part of one of the most liberal states, so that might take a little time.
ReplyDeletehere's a ginormous timesuck for clarence and others musically inclined: http://www.thecurrent.org/feature/2016/05/05/893-essential-albums?WT.mc_id=5e9d8b0b7c94ac6d30e933740cd778ed
ReplyDeleteWar #133. Achtung Baby #55. What?
ReplyDeletenew radiohead album is really good.
ReplyDeleteSeems like Surfer Rosa should be ahead of Doolittle, right? And it definitely be higher than #200? Ah, what do I know.
ReplyDeleteCome to Florida, Dave. Between the racists and the seniors (and the racist seniors) it's quite easy to find Trump supporters.
ReplyDeleteJust yesterday I saw a Geo Tracker with a Trump/Palin 2016 sticker on it. Didn't know people were making such a sticker or that enough people were clueless enough to create a market for such paraphernalia.
Trump/Schwarzenegger. I'm tellin' you!
ReplyDeleteSeismic shift happening in Oklahoma City tonight.
ReplyDeleteOh man. So premature.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who overlapped w/ Tim Duncan in college, I can say it's been a privilege to watch Tim Duncan for 19 years in the NBA. And his NBA career is all the more fascinating considering he was branded a loser in college for never bringing a title to Wake Forest.
ReplyDeletePop's teary-eyed post-game presser tells the story on Duncan's future. And the fact that he never even allowed himself to be subbed out at the end of the game was amazing. He had as brilliant a career as Kobe. Their different exits are telling for both.
hey gheorghies! surfer rosa is WAY ahead of doolittle and i couldn't find any trump supporters out tonight but a smart british guy bet me a night out at this excellent hipster bar/restaurant that trump would beat hillary. he was very confident.
ReplyDeleteHi Gheorghies. Wow. Lots of sweet action here on gtb today. Good on ya's.
ReplyDeleteTr, am venturing to guess we won't see scores continue on this path. Pin placements, course drying out, Yada yada.
Trump...other than my dad, I haven't met a single person that supports him outwardly which tells me one third or more of those same people will vote for him. But it is all moot...he ain't winning.
Achtung Baby over War...pfft.
Another pet peeve: losing sunglasses.
Had a seafood gumbo today cooked up by exec chef from louisiana today. It was kinda good.
Booker...4 years ago I would have put much money on him being a dem frontrunner. I'd vote for him twice. First gay president? 2032?
Other pet peeves: 830 and 400 fri conf calls.
To torture myself, I just did a present value analysis to guesstimate how much I would need in my kids' 529 accounts today to be fully funded in 2027-2032, when they'll be college. This assumes $65 K tuition today, growing at 3% annually, and a 6% annual return on my savings. That number is $353 K, which is large to quite large.
ReplyDeleteThat number increases to $520 K if we assume 5% tuition inflation and 5% annual return.
Happy Friday.
Time to start teaching your kids to pitch left handed.
ReplyDeletemy kids are going to virginia public colleges, and they'll like it
ReplyDeleteI'm teaching my kids how to make methylamine in the bathtub. Yooooodge market for that stuff.
ReplyDeleteAssuming TR's $65k and 3% numbers are correct, I'll need to pony up a total of $860,795.60 for both of zkids to get privately edjumacated? Or $903,835.38 at 5%? Is that shit right?
ReplyDeletewilling to bet that the education finance landscape changes significantly by the time zkids are in college. higher education is a bubble waiting to burst, and there are lots of interesting experiments going on in the space.
ReplyDeleteFriend of mine has three kids that are in grades 10, 11 and 12. If each attends college for the 'standard' 4 years he will have 2 years where he is paying three separate tuitions (and years on the front and back end paying for 2). I think he is secretly praying the youngest finds a trade straight out of high school.
ReplyDeletei do appreciate the morning financial panic that tr has inspired in me. that's a nice way to end the week.
ReplyDeleteNo shit. Thanks for sharing, TR. We can only hope his college education finance pessimism is as inaccurate as his Spurs optimism was.
ReplyDeleteAm a bit of a planner and thankfully had this conversation 7.5 years ago before our firstborn. So it was 7.5 years ago I pooped my pants when receiving this info. I had our guy give us an in-state school and out of state private school scenario. My kids are to loop. Jock. Ya know....caddie. Million bucks in the pocket dawgs.
ReplyDeleteAnd since I mentioned the Spurs, something struck me watching the last couple games that many (myself included) missed while they were posting 67 wins.
ReplyDeleteThey, for the first time in many, many years, lack a top flight shot creator. For most of their championships they had two (Manu & Parker) and Parker was still one during their last championship run. They don't have that guy anymore. Aldridge (by virtue of position and game) isn't and Kawhi is not yet comfortable or creative enough off the dribble to consistently create shots for himself and his teammates. He so often take two or three dribbles only to abruptly pick up his dribble without a next move in mind once nothing opens up. He's a damn fine two way player but he's a step below the truly elite offensive guys in this manner. Tightening up his handle will take him to the next level and should be priority #1 for him this summer.
speaking of financial panic, there's an amazing article in last month's atlantic (available online here, but it's really long: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/05/my-secret-shame/476415/). a fuckton of americans that seem outwardly successful are fighting a paycheck to paycheck battle - stressful as hell, and scary, too. and hard to talk about at cocktail parties.
ReplyDeleteGlad I didn't bet on the tpc scoring thing.
ReplyDeleteReally long articles. Pet Peeve.
ReplyDeleteBecause Shannon went in-state, and worked hard to earn several scholarships, she graduated last Saturday with only 12k in debt. I count that as a reverse parenting win.
ReplyDeleteToo TJ's point, there are lots of scholarship dollars out there. Many of which go unclaimed. Rob and Clarence have the oldest kids (Dave too, I believe) so do some research and let the rest of know what you've found. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI got an interesting bit of news last night. My wife is taking my 3 kids to go visit her dad over Memorial Day weekend. In a way I'm bummed about it. On the other hand, I'm pretty excited. Actually, on both hands I'm pretty excited. I love you honey.
ReplyDeleteGlad to perk everybody up here. And I think the Spurs still have a chance in the series, Mark.
ReplyDeleteA hangover after five straight nights of six hours of sleep, is not all that fun. And I get to go to a 2nd grade spelling bee tonight. Yay.
technically, clarence has the oldest kid, so he should be in charge of the research. oldest liver, too.
ReplyDeleteDe La Soul is Dead was released 25 years ago today. I'm so old.
ReplyDeleteI read that Atlantic article a while ago and it's stunning. Thank god I'm a thrifty bastid.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who goes into panic mode speed-walk when approaching a Starbucks and seeing other people also approaching who may be able to get in front of me in line? Avoiding the dismay of a group of four people piling into line immediately in front of me becomes a irrationally important thing for 5-10 seconds.
ReplyDeletewe have a starbucks in the basement of our work building, but have to walk outside to get to it. that 35 foot walk is always stressful the minute i realize the situation described above is happening. and because i am an asshole, have several times left jess in my dust so i could get ahead of folks headed towards the door
ReplyDelete114 PGA players have earned at least $500 K YTD. 57 have earned at least $1 MM and 16 have earned at least $2 MM.
ReplyDeleteIt's mid-May.
The equivalent of your Starbucks-panic for me is Chipotle. I always do a head count before walking in. If it's more than 15, I generally waive it off, especially if it's off hours and they don't have the A-team working.
ReplyDeletefurthermore...you can gather that 114 caddies have probably earned about 50k'ish; 57 100kish; and 16 $200kish...
ReplyDeletedanimal wins!
ReplyDeleteNo. You are mistaken.
ReplyDeleteyou had comment #69, man. winning.
ReplyDeleteThey finally opened a starbucks in our small town about 4 months ago. The service is so bad. It's like they could only find a D-team to staff it. So the wifer orders via the mobile app, walks in avoiding the long line and walks out within 30 seconds.
ReplyDeleteGheorghies - everybody have a nice weekend. I toast you clons with a Guinness.
ReplyDeletei am not a clone! am i a clone? or am i a clon?
ReplyDeleteDe La!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.delasoulisdead.com
Zman and I both receive the same De La Soul emails.
ReplyDeletey'know, z, people have created new posts from less material. just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDespite recent results, Daryl Morey is a good GM
ReplyDeleteHe is, however, a terrible evaluator of point guards.
His starting point guard is Patrick Beverly. At various (and in some cases multiple) times he has had Goran Dragic, Kyle Lowry and Jeremy Lin on his roster. Let them all go in one manner or another.
it was the jeremy lin thing that you thought better of, right?
ReplyDeleteor not
ReplyDelete