Old People Are Sexy Too (and So Is Your Mom)

I'm very frustrated because I can't find an internet clip of my favorite sex scene in the history of cinema. It occurs right after the moment pictured above in Kenneth Branagh's version of Hamlet. Claudius, the usurper king is taking his "rouse," and chugging cups of Rhenish wine. Hamlet tells his buddy Horatio that this is a Danish tradition referred to as the "wassail," and it happens late at night, after much dancing and drumming. He also says that most Danes don't practice the tradition, but -- of course -- his murderous, incestuous, wife stealing uncles loves it.

Right after King Claudius finishes chugging the wine, he puts his arm around Queen Gertrude's waist, hurls her into the bedroom, throws her on the bed, and leaps on top of her . . . in full view of all his ministers (it's good to be the king). You have to watch carefully to see it, as it occurs in the background. If you want to see for yourself, you need to check out Act I Scene 4. This is the only scene from the film I couldn't find on the internet, so obviously I'm the only person who finds this detail awesomely fantastic. This is why.

Queen Gertrude is a bit old to be engaging in this sort of lascivious behavior. Even before Hamlet meets the ghost and learns that his mother has married a murderer, he is disturbed by her behavior. Specifically, her sexuality . . . her "wicked speed" and "dexterity" climbing into the "incestuous sheets" with Uncle Claudius. This is fun to point out in a high school English class, as  the kids get really, really uncomfortable when you mention the fact that their parents had to have sex in order to create them. We all agree that the best thing to do is never think about adults having sex, especially your own mother. 

Branagh won't let us avoid these thoughts, though, as they are integral to the play. He casts Queen Gertrude perfectly: she has to be someone that looks old, but was once hot.  Julie Christie fits the bill. 

Here she is in Hamlet:

And here she is in here prime:

After we watch the scene, and the students are properly appalled by two old people behaving like they are at a fraternity party, I end the lesson by telling them: "this is what's going to happen in your house after you go away to college."