"To The Pain" Pick 'Em: Week 2

Well, here we are ago...another round of Danimal vs. Mark, for the opposite of all the marbles. Despite jumping on a slow boat to China, Dan was able to get his picks in before the commies limited his access to Al Gore's world wide web. Regarding that trip, he seems really fired up: "Am excited to be missing the 2nd wkd of cfb with another trip to China. Going dark in 3….2…..1….."



DANIMAL

Well, I’ve cleaned myself off after getting ass whacked last week. If you don’t recall, BadNews Hughes went 3-0 to my oh-fer. Hopefully that will be corrected this week, but until then, go with Marks’ picks.

ND +3.5 at Mich (Dan made sure to send this early in the week, so he could "lockdown" the 3.5-point spread. Little did he know we are not a recognized Sportsbook)
My first instinct with the Irish last week was to no way in hell pick them. But I did. Rees did though have a nice game with no turnovers and a record day in passing yardage with 346 of ‘em. The talk pre-Temple was all about ND’s D with Tuitt & Nix and their 6 other returning starters. Well Temple had 3 drives of over 50 yards (54, 65, & 74). Two of those resulted in missed field goals and the other a touchdown. Temple had 360 some yards of offense. Temple. That’s a concern. Notre Dame missed two kicks of their own, also a concern. One of the kicks could have been made by Oscar Pretorius. Meanwhile, Michigan won its opener by its largest margin in over 100 years. Granted, it was against Central Michigan of the MAC, but a 50-point beatdown is a 50-point beatdown. Michigan is hosting ND after losing last year, and amidst much talk between the two schools and the rivalry that is about to end. Brady Hoke and his guys will be a little more motivated than normal. Throw in a few missed FG’s by the good guys and you’ve got a Michigan win by 5+. MICHIGAN

WVU +20.5 vs OK
The second I saw this, I felt this was a “LOCK”, with or without last week’s showing against the Wrens. I just don’t think WVU is any good at all. Admittedly, the pick is flawed b/c it’s not about how good OK is but how bad WVU is. Well, tough titties. WARNING: This line is inflated entirely as a result of their debut in Motown. Oklahoma is nothing special and is starting a redshirt freshman that completed something like none of his passes last week. Well, not none but 11, 11 of 28 in fact. OKLA

Boston College +3 vs Wake
With this being the first year of this little competition, we haven’t laid down many rules. For example, it hasn’t been established that we can’t pick the Over/Under. The O/U here is 48.5 Both of these teams STRUGGLED against weaker FBS opponents last week. Granted, Villanova is no cream puff but Presbyterian, well, Wake trailed 14-7 at one point and they were 38 point faves, guy! You might see better football in your kid’s shoolyard. You and Julio, watching Pop Warner football, down at the schoolyard. Need some back to school shoes for that your cheeldren….take the UNDER and treat ‘em to something….REAL NAACE!

COMING...SOMETIME...MARK'S PICKS...

So yesterday The Teej emailed me to see if I'd have my picks in on Thursday or Friday. I told him it was most likely going to be Friday afternoon. Of course, he said he was cool with that and added something along the lines of "not rushing you". Fast forward to just after 1 pm today when I see myself mentioned in one of TJ's many tweets. This tweet in particular was for the blog post you're reading, and it was calling me out for being delinquent. My first reaction was "What a dick.". But then I thought about it a little more and realized TJ was probably just reacting to Rob's demand for a new post. So…fuck you TJ. Fuck you worse, Rob. Now onto the picks!

Oregon (-23) @ Virginia- Did you know Cavalier coach Mike London used to be a cop? Well, he was! And you're going to here about that between 10 and 200 times tomorrow afternoon. Especially in the second half when Oregon is rapidly pulling away from Virginia and turning this game into a laugher. Speaking of laughs, Oregon TB and track star De'Anthony Thomas is one of the few athletes worth following on Twitter. There's some of your typical athlete "Rise &Grind" bullshit but there's also some things that give you insight into one of the nation's best players and his personality. He goes by @EATBLACKMOMBA6. Check him out, if you're into the whole Twitter thing. Back to football, De'Anthony Thomas is stupid fast, Marcus Mariota is the best QB that Oregon has had since Chip Kelly took over in Eugune (I know, Kelly isn't there anymore but his offense still is) and, in my opinion, one of the country's best and TE Colt Lyerla is a freak of nature. Oregon's good and they make giving up 23 points on the road look enticing. DUCKS.

West Virginia @ Oklahoma (-21)- Another big spread. I have to admit, when I saw Danimal San took the Sooners I became a little worried. Both of us were clearly influenced by the struggles of Dan Holgorsen and Co. against the #PantlessGriffins last weekend. Now, I doubt Dana will be as hungover for this week's game. Noon starts are murder on him but I also don't think it will matter. The now somewhat overrated Bob Stoops doesn't lose very often in Norman and the Mountaineers aren't very good this season. You know what is good though? The Bridge. I've made it throughout 6 episodes and I'm all in. Why do I bring this up? Because Jame Gumb is one of the main characters on The Bridge. And, to me, Dana Holgorsen looks a lot like a young Jame Gumb in Silence of the Lambs. THE MOUNTAINEERS PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR THEY GET THE HOSE!!!

Western Kentucy (+13) @ Tennessee- Do you know who coaches Western Kentucky? Bobby Petrino. Yes, that Bobby Petrino. The same guy who quit midseason on the Atlanta Falcons and blew up the most promising season in the last 40 years of Arkansas Razorback Football when he crashed his motorcycle because a young assistant from his office was sitting behind him on said motorcycle and went for the reach around (at least that's always been my guess). So, Bobby Petrino is pretty clearly an awful dude. An awful dude who's an extremely good football coach. This job is just a stopover for Petrino. His track record of success at the college level is just too good to ignore. Somebody is going to come calling for Petrino this offseason. I guarantee it. Until then though, Petrino can make you some money. He beat the spread, and Kentucky, last week. He's going to do one, and possibly both, again this week. Butch Jones has the Volunteers moving in the right direction but you don't recover from 4 years of Derek Dooley overnight. HILLTOPPERS.