Me and George

The snarkosphere is in full squawk these past few weeks over a series of pictures released by a hacker allegedly depicting the paintings of George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States and punching bag of elites from both sides of the aisle. In what might pass for self-parody, Gawker calls them 'odd', 'awkward', and 'monstrous-looking'. Various other interweb commentators review Bush's works with tones more often associated with descriptions of the first, halting efforts of modestly talented middle school musicians - half sympathetic, half mocking with faint praise.

To those about to snark, we...say "fuck you".

I'm no fan of Bush the Younger, as you well know. But as one who's dabbled in the acrylic arts, I can say this with certainty: painting is hard as shit. I've completed somewhere around 40 paintings, and I'd be willing to let other human beings see a grand total of one of them. (I'd post a picture here, but I gave it to Clarence, figuring I'd knock off a couple more. I have yet to do so.)

I started painting a few years ago on a whim, and because my daughter showed some talent for art. I took a painting class at a local art studio, one I really enjoyed and not only because I was the only male in a group of 12. But I very quickly realized that I had little talent for representational painting - I could make colors work together, but my understanding of perspective, and shading, and light, and most of the other building blocks of good art is, as it turns out, highly limited. My kid has lapped me, frankly, though I have developed an abstract style I like to call 'slap some colorful shit on a canvas and smear it around'.

There are people in the world like our friend Doug, both gifted and extremely hard workers, who create incomprehensibly beautiful and compelling art from nothing. There are others who are both talented and lucky, with public acclaim and riches to follow. And then there are the countless rest of us, like me and President Bush, who paint because it makes us happy, even though we suck.

So I stand with W, in this perhaps singular case. Go on with your bad self, George. That picture of Barney isn't half bad. Can't wait for our joint show in Kennebunkport. Haters gonna hate, but if you're not gonna grab a brush, and mix some paints, and make an effort, you're just making noise. And none of us have time for noise.

BREAKING NEWS:

I lied above. I have actually allowed real human beings to view THREE of my paintings. One hangs in my dining room, and the other in my office. It's pictured below. Please be kind.

BREAKING NEWS:

I have photographed Rob's painting that resides in our kitchen.  Here it is, and I dig it.  -- Whitney