Anyway, I believe this post is to serve as an open thread for the rest of the evening, so as a starter I threw out a few elections below that are being closely eyed by the G:TB staff...join me in the comments with some others, won't you?
Oh yeah, remember, if confused at the ballot box, just think "What would Brian Boitano do?"
Special Election 6.9.1a: Ray Tango vs. Gabriel Cash
Not only are you choosing a winner, but the victor also owns the rights to the term 'F.U.B.A.R." in perpetuity.
Iniative 3.1415: Kang vs. Kodos
Don't care which way you folks lean on this, but bottom line, don't blame me, I voted Kodos.
Municipal Ordinace 420 (submitted by a reader): Code name Ichiro vs. Code name Benedict
This joke for four might fall off the ballot due to disinterest...or the munchies.
Regarding Clarence's comment in the last post ... unless you have 15 cars, that's a lot of tires in 3 months. You might want to consider buying tires elsewhere, keeping your tires at the proper pressure, avoid clocking the same pothole over and over again, making sure your rims aren't bent, or move to a better neighborhood so they won't get slashed.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Clarence keeps detouring through East St. Louis?
ReplyDeleteRoll em up.
ReplyDeleteThere are initiatives in both Colorado and Washington State to legalize marijuana. Both have a decent chance of passing.
ReplyDeleteHey kids. Look at the blight.
gay marriage is likely to pass in at least 3 of the 4 states in which it's on the ballot, too. we're a few short years away from mandatory gay sex while stoned.
ReplyDeletePassing on the left hand side.
ReplyDeleteThere's a moke joke to be made in response to rob but I'm too zooted to figure it out.
ReplyDeletei'm reduced to tweeting random election questions into the ether. someone bring me some weed.
ReplyDeleteAfter the last Presidential election, Greg complained that he was moving to Dubai. After this election, I'm moving to Boulder, Colorado. Not complaining, just saying.
ReplyDeleteMark, Is Bizzaro pizza any good? Drive past it on the way to the airport.
ReplyDeleteGreg might currently live in Dubai, for all I know. Where is Fred Slacks these days?
ReplyDeleteRight now my guess is Greg is 30,000 feet above the middle of this country, knee deep in first class mini-booze bottles
ReplyDeleteFor my election watching tonight, I have a chosen a 1999 Cabernet Sauvignon from Argentina. Pairs well with partisan angst and Brian Williams' face in HD.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty good, Marls. The white pizza is really, really good. The Bizzarro Family (yes, actual name) are good friends with my in-laws. Though my Father-in-law, who's from Italy, calls them "bullshit Italians" behind their back(s).
ReplyDeletei'll be drinking a south african syrah and swallowing large quantities of angst
ReplyDeleteMayhugh - Greg's in San Jose (at least during the week)
ReplyDeleteMark, it's better if we don't tell others where Greg actually is...and instead let folks guess.
ReplyDeleteI have a bunch of whales tail and a bunch of grey lady -- no surprise to anyone who's been in my kitchen.
ReplyDeleteonce again, i have no school tomorrow.
ReplyDeletehow late do i have to stay up to find out the winner of the election? jill stein, baby!
Zson just selected on the origin of species as his last book before bed. Long night ahead of me.
ReplyDeletewhy are election night drinking games needed by people? they can't just crack open a few and watch the best reality show this side of the nba/nfl draft?
ReplyDeletezson...everybody poops...a new species
ReplyDeleteAl Sharpton shouted out W&M.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to how many elections the Teej is participating in.
ReplyDeleteI am enjoying the categories CNN is posting in the exit poll. So far we have "Fathers", "Mothers", "Born-again Christians", and "People Who Attend Church Weekly" to name a few. What else can we throw into this? Coffee Drinkers? Smokers? Organized Crime?
Just opened a brand new bottle of Woodford. Dee-lish.
ReplyDeleteI am drinking a Narragansett bock lager tall boy -- because one of our college cronies works for the brewery and mailed me some (is that legal?), which arrived today. This is outstanding. No matter what happens, today has made me happy.
ReplyDeletethe bock is good, as is the fest. got mine last week. free illegal beer is fun. kinda like a mini-smokey and the bandit.
ReplyDeleteRob, Clarence... How about you get this 'buddy' of yours to spread the wealth to some other G:TB?
ReplyDeleteI'll be participating in multiple elections tonight, Mayhugh.
Also, is NBC really calling Rockefeller Center "Democracy Plaza" tonight? Spare me. You can spare me with that whole "Great State of Maine" bullshit.
mark, i'll be in orlando in february. i'll see what i can do.
ReplyDeletewas invited to several election watch parties. decided those people didn't need to learn what kind of insane person i am while watching elections/sports.
ReplyDeleteIt would be cooler if you referred to it as Gansett.
ReplyDelete"We never got duh trickool."
ReplyDeleteWhen the hell did al Sharpton become a legit political commentator?
Savannah Guthrie did not get shorted on make-up this evening.
ReplyDeleteNice. Let me know as we get closer to February. I'll try and make that arduous hour long trip to Orlando.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's annoying? When NBC breaks for local election coverage. No one cares.
ReplyDeleteI care.
ReplyDeleteNot even being a jerk here. I really do care.
ReplyDeleteShlara, do you have rabbit ears or something? CNN is the place to be.
ReplyDeleteDoes Romney have any chance if he loses Florida?
ReplyDeleteI'm flipping between CNN and NBC. I like the map on the ice rink
ReplyDeleteThe ice rink in 'Democracy Plaza'?
ReplyDeleteMayhugh- CNN is never "the place to be". And no, I don't think Romney can win if he doesn't take Florida. But I just elected my first pope of the night so you probably shouldn't pay much attention to me.
I like Carville. Need more Carville.
ReplyDeleteman, the senate races are breaking hard for the blue guys. murphy, warren, donnelly(!). cmon, john tester, you flattopped bastard.
ReplyDeletePaul Ryan can't get Wisconsin for Romney? No reason for him to be on the ticket.
ReplyDeleteAnd in shocking news, both camps are "bullish" on every battleground state. I just want somebody to say they are scared shitless about Colorado.
ReplyDeleteMark, you clearly don't watch enough Morning Joe--they have been hating "democracy plaza" for weeks. Someone even made a snarky Comcast comment this morning for the over-commercialization of the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteDid you see they are also counting electoral votes on the facade of 30 Rock?
And CNN is doing the same thing on the Empire State bldg
The electoral votes count on empire state bldg is horrible.
ReplyDeleteAnd am of the opinion that the morning joe crew should be working tonight. Let some of these other hacks fill in for them in the a.m.
I did see, and like, the electoral vote counter on the buildings of 30 Rock.
ReplyDeleteI have never seen a single second of Morning Joe.
Totally agree with you Danimal. Election night needs more Mika, Joe and Willie
ReplyDeleteap (but nobody else) calling wisconsin for tammy baldwin, which would make her the first openly gay female senator.
ReplyDeleteLooks like 63% of Massholes want Medical Marijuana to be legal. That number seems high to me. Pun intended.
ReplyDeleteMika in her p.j.'s......yeah vavy!
ReplyDeleteI think it is going to be an early night. I would love for Geoff to chime now and tell me I am wrong.
Rob....nervous about that sen race there?
They just did the empire state bldg thing again....I wish they would then pan down to the zero people in the streets looking upward.
ReplyDeleteFlorida...unreal....
ReplyDeletedanimal, had a big winchester 24 hours. met with a guy from russ potts productions last night, broke my fast with buck marston this morning. wish you were here, hardcharger.
ReplyDeletepossibly the democrats' biggest whackadoodle, alan grayson, just got sent back to the house.
ReplyDeleteSavannah needs to fire her make-up artist
ReplyDeleteAnd I like brokaw's tie
fuck you richard mourdock, you misogynist fuck.
ReplyDeleteDid u stay in the apple capital? Good on ya! Does that mean you had a cocktail today?
ReplyDeleteShlara...see my comment earlier about Savannah.....
ReplyDeleteSenator Elizabeth Warren!
ReplyDeleteno, they came to suburbia where the action is
ReplyDeleteand senator tammy baldwin
ReplyDeleteBrian Williams killin in w marijuana commentary...I think Leater Holt likes to hit the spliff once in a while. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteTalked to buckles a coupla hours ago as we began our respective (not so) happy hours.
ReplyDeleteRichard Mourdock. Haha! /muntz'd
ReplyDeleteShould I have a drink? Yes. Yes, I should.
ReplyDeletesqueaky! medicinal doobies in massachusetts!
ReplyDeleteYo, gormley, ur address pls
ReplyDeleteNew favorite CNN name - Poppy Harlow.
ReplyDeleteAm drinking like notre dame is down 2 Td's in the 4th....bourbon.
ReplyDeleteSomeone on fox news commits suicide tonight. On air.
kid you not, 420 Weed Rd.
ReplyDeletethat's bullshit
ReplyDeleteThis will not surprise you: I have no idea where The Fox News channel is located on my cable system
ReplyDeleteOh my god. Please let that be true.
ReplyDeleteIt's not your fault, Danimal. It's not your fault.
Race is over. Mittens will lose Ohio. Nate Silver, who's caught an ungodly amount of shit from the right, will be proved prescient.
ReplyDelete"President leading in the raw" makes me think of ODB. I bet Barry likes it raw.
Find it, Shlara. It should be near CNN. A lot of bitterness in the air.
ReplyDeleteDavid Axelrod...you douche.
ReplyDeleteGuess I got to turn the TV back on. Stupid work can wait till tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying Brian Williams too much to switch
ReplyDeleteAm flipping the channels. Yes am right leaning but cannot watch the fox. If directtv it is 360.
ReplyDeleteYeah...watching this axelrod interview....brian is pretty smooth. Axelrod knows it is over.
ReplyDeleteDid you catch his 'thin ice' quip. What a dipshit.
ReplyDeleteHow awful is the guy that ran against Jesse Jackson Jr. and lost? That guy has been MIA for months.
ReplyDeletei can't switch from cnn for reasons of superstition, dammit
ReplyDeleteJesse Jackson Jr? Really? 68% of the vote? Disgrace.
ReplyDeletePalin going full on desperate cougar on Fox News.
ReplyDeleteJohn King is very into his over-sized iPad map thing
ReplyDeleteGreta w the nice turquoise jacket. "the network gave it to me Jeff"
ReplyDeleteLinda McMahon must have some serious dirt on her husband to get away with blowing $91 million of their money on two elections.
ReplyDeleteI found Fox News. Savannah must be sharing her make-up and hair person with Palin
ReplyDeleteHe sleeps with it Shlara. I thought I was watching porn at times.
ReplyDeleteWas Glen Rice involved?
ReplyDeleteSo now they are all just trying to make this seem like it is closer than it is right?
ReplyDeletesome dude on CNN is giving up
ReplyDeleteAnd Carville puppet is awesome
The NBA needs to add Carville to the draft night broadcast team. Or to the TNT studio team.
ReplyDeleteKarl Rove looks like he's wearing a bald mask. And tons of make-up.
ReplyDeletealex castellanos just tapped out on cnn
ReplyDeletecbs just called virginia for tim kaine. fuck and yes.
ReplyDeleteNBC's coverage is at least one million times better than Fox's.
ReplyDeleteWolf Blitzer may have an aneurysm
ReplyDeleteTough night for Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, spiritual advisor to the stars. Stars like Jon Gosselin.
ReplyDeleteChuck Todd has a hard job. I would not do as well as he does. But he fucks up often...here, on MTP and Morning Joe. I like him overall but They could do better. King on CNN way better IMO.
ReplyDeleteJulian Castro is a douche.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Geoff?
ReplyDeleteErin Burnett gonna go meet up with Eminem in Detroit later
ReplyDeletestop it, shlara.
ReplyDeleteScott Brown is still giving his concession speech. Got to be 20 minutes at this point. So stuck in local coverage on NBC. Guess I could switch to fox.
ReplyDeleteThe muppet band chick is on CNN right now...
ReplyDeletejust switched to comedy central. my version of auerbach's victory cigar.
ReplyDeleteIs everything on CNN a major! Projection?
ReplyDeleteOh my...I have a comedy program guiding me through this...
ReplyDeletenate silver is bathing in a tub full of champagne with a gaggle of hookers and an 8-ball
ReplyDeleteMSNBC called it for Obama.
ReplyDeleteFox News still has Romney in it.
ReplyDeletedick morris thinks romney's winning
ReplyDeleteCNN and John King inching Obama...
ReplyDeleteWow, CNN...get it early...
ReplyDeleteThis took much less time than anticipated.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, onto the fiscal cliff...
ReplyDeleteromney not accepting obama's call, contesting the call of ohio. dude, you're losing fl, va, co, too. it's ovah.
ReplyDeletei do believe i have some whiskey headed my direction. this makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteJoin me, Rob. Join me.
ReplyDeleteRomney failed to win the state he governed and the state his dad governed. Bad showing for both romneys.
ReplyDeletegay marriage winning all 4 states right now. we are a very different country than many in the gop believe we are.
ReplyDeleteGood concession speeches always make you wonder what government could be if the two-party straitjacket didn't fuck things up.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I got Good and drunk tonight on 'gansett and Newcastle. Not bad for a Tuesday night.
ReplyDeletegit er done, Clarence
ReplyDeleteIn the Chicago crowd on TV, first I've seen this T-shirt: 99 Problems and the Mitt Ain't One. Well alrighty.
ReplyDeleteWhat is your poison Rob
ReplyDeletesurprise me, danimal. always up for trying something new. in the whiskey category, anyway.
ReplyDeleteBowman's would be a nice surprise.
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