1 washed-up pop culture figure
1/2 tablespoon TV network head idiocy
2 cups glut of cable channels and programming
1 youtube clip with wisecrack attached (in this case, the bolded last sentence does all the work for me)
Mix well, bake, and eat quickly before it gets cancelled.
Rapper Vanilla Ice is indulging his love of home improvement by signing up to host a new DIY TV show. The Ice Ice Baby hitmaker - real name Robert Van Winkle - is set to present The Vanilla Ice Project for U.S.'s DIY Network. A rep for the channel insists the star's renovation experience makes him the perfect host for a home make-over show. The spokesperson says, "Over the last 15 years, Rob has taught himself the basics of home improvement through hands-on experience."
Hi Igor, we're over here...
ReplyDeleteshouldn't the label be 'shay with a gauge and vanilla with a nail gun'?
ReplyDeletealso, raise your hand if you knew rex walters was japanese-american.
ReplyDeletehttp://es.pn/cPMJj4
Not when the other label was amazingly already used...
ReplyDeleteoh, label discipline. forgot how important that is to us.
ReplyDeleteDamn skippy.
ReplyDeletethx igor...i would have understood what he was saying if he spelled correctly.
ReplyDeletetj donkey now.
Stew's girlfriend had multiple personalities?
ReplyDeleteMy high school girlfriend had multiple personalities. Pity she couldn't have lent one to some of the W&M girls I spent time with.
ReplyDeleteThat MTV special, back in the day was intelligent and funny, was epic. What's even funnier is that at that time, MTV thought Chris Kattan was as hip, funny and relevant as Stewart, Leary and Garofalo. When you watch the program, those three treat Kattan like a turd on their shoe. Rightfully so.
ReplyDeleteMust improve: comment proofreading before publishing.
ReplyDeleteAren't we about due for a baseball card update? I rather enjoyed the first installment.
ReplyDeleteHow was Cybill Shepard a star? Really fucking annoying in almost every role and super overrated from an attractiveness point of view. Maddie Hayes, good fucking god. Now David Addison, on the other hand, that was one prime piece of meat.
ReplyDeleteOK, as I waste time on twitter today, this is my list of contributors/regular visitors to this site that I can find on twitter:
ReplyDeleteWhit (tumbleweed account)
tiny (only songs in his head)
Squeaky
Geoff
Work Jerry
Wheelhouse Jerry
Mark
SoD
Who am I missing? Marls, you KingKongman (or is that TR)? d-train, did your geriatric ass actually figure out how to get on twitter fo reals?
Check out the film "The Last Picture Show" for a young Cubill Shepherd naked. B&W, but there are multiple scenes of nudity. And Jeff Bridges and Randy Quaid looking very young (but not naked).
ReplyDeleteDidn't Cybill Shepherd date Elvis?
i'm on bitch! thedanimal11 (that's an eleven after thedanimal) is my handle.
ReplyDeletei've yet to send out a tweet. i'm a little nervous.
yes she did. elvis hit that.
ReplyDeleteI guess Marls didn't see Taxi Driver.
ReplyDeleteIgor - you clearly didn't read my entire 1st baseball card post. I said it would be out WEEKLY. So expect the second post to be out by mid-September.
ReplyDeleteNice pull zman.
ReplyDeleteDid anyone collect football cards? What was the deal where they couldn't show the logo on helmets and had to airbrush them out? Ridiculous.
ReplyDeletei had fball cards but not the ones w/out logos. i guess yours must have been of the local pop warner stars. nice going.
ReplyDeletei remember having a steve grogan. very nice.
wow-- nothing happens on gheorghe for days (except my longwinded post) and i'm off the internet for two days and there's 17 new posts.
ReplyDeletei recommend "last picture show" as good movie and for nudity.
Yes, the teej, I am kingmankong. Long live #26.
ReplyDeleteI forgot about the last picture show, but not taxi driver. I think cybs sucks in TD.
Not sure if LPS Cybill is enough to outweigh the rest of her crapola.
alabama's no. 1 in the newly released coaches' poll, bitches. the fact that such a poll exists on august 6 is nearly as asinine as vanilla ice.
ReplyDeleteAnd Vanilla Ice is nearly as asinine as Chocolate Rain.
ReplyDeleteSexual Chocolate, however, is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteas is chocolate thunder
ReplyDeletehttp://crapatmyparentshouse.com/
ReplyDeleteand they are on the evil twitter:
@crapatmyparents
Btw, Buzz is on fire today.
way to fuck up a tasty chocolate rhombus
ReplyDeletelike...who isn't on twitter???
ReplyDelete>>raising hand<<
ReplyDeleteSorry to bust up your rhomboid.
ReplyDeletez-have been a twitter guy now for about 4 hours. i follow one man - buzz. i lead no one.
ReplyDeleteIs Chocolate Thunder brillianter than Tropic Thunder? Or than Days of Thunder?
ReplyDeleteWhat about White Chocolate Thunder?
ReplyDeleteWhite Chocolate Thundering Herd happened when Jason Williams visited high school chum Randy Moss at Marshall.
ReplyDeleteDarryl Dawkins is mad brilliant, much more so than Johnny Dawkins or Darryl LaMonica, but less so than Dick Dawkins.
ReplyDeleteseems only a logical decision by knicks really....
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/2bqkmst
The guy was a good at evaluating talent for the draft, he was just a clueless cockbag when it came to business decisions, trades, contracts, and managerial skills. Not a great skill set for a GM.
ReplyDeletecockbag. i like it.
ReplyDeleteWhy won't some team hire me as a consultant? I'm at least as competent as Isiah, or Lon Babby (who is somehow a fucking GM) for that matter.
ReplyDeleteTJ--send out my files to every NBA team first thing on Monday.
Hiring Isiah Thomas to work for your pro basketball team is, at this point, like hiring TJ to work at your rehab counseling center. Just clearly a terrible idea that will end horribly.
ReplyDeleteIn a non-ironic twist, I've been having sum biznass drank for hourz.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me your bidness drank is purple.
ReplyDeleteWhat words do you think prompted General Tso's Pornobot to make an appearance? Cockbag? Turd? Isiah? Thundering chocolate herd?
ReplyDeleteIs a cockbag a back of cocks or a scrotum? Or Fat Albert Haynesworth?
ReplyDeleteWilbon is drunk on PTI or he hit his head before the show. Regarding the worst umpiring call since they began putting chalk down for foul lines (which occurred last night in the Phillies/Marlins game), he made the following pair of brilliantly astute points:
ReplyDeleteReplay wouldn't have made a difference because at those camera angles, it's inconclusive.
(Gee, Mike, you think if MLB adopted replay they might put a camera down the foul lines?)
It was inconsequential because the Marlins aren't in playoff contention.
(Gee, Mike, but the Phillies are, and given that the win swung entirely on that blown call, don't you think that if the Phils squeak into the postseason by 1 game, we might call that consequential?)
Moron.
Nice typically indignant stance by the ump afterwards as well. "Not even close." Well, that's sort of true...
ReplyDeleteanother mismatch in the bronx. this should be as fun as a kick in the balls.
ReplyDeleteLike a kick in the ol' cockbag.
ReplyDeletean hour to play two innings. that's slow, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Sox or Yanks fan, but even if I was I wouldn't be able to sit thru one of their non-playoff games. 4 hours of stalling, strategy, pitch count working drudgery.
ReplyDeleteheartbreaking to see joba reduced to a middle inning guy
ReplyDeleteLooks like a kick in the cockbag is not that bad.
ReplyDeletemore of a gentle caress this evening
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeletewait. a-rod got drilled with a liner during bp while schmoozing with joe buck? c'mon, that's just too easy.
ReplyDeleteD-train, you following Buzz but not GTB? Shame on you.
ReplyDeleteD-train, I like the quick response...
ReplyDeleteyes. following gtb now. and leading them also.
ReplyDeleteIn case you missed it, Tim Tebow has a new haircut: http://twitpic.com/2ckyyv
ReplyDeletemike tomlin gave the entire steelers roster the day off today for dick lebeau's hall of fame induction. i like.
ReplyDeleteTomlin's a hard coach not to like. If only he hadn't gone to college with a bunch of insufferable schmucks.
ReplyDeleteamen to that
ReplyDeleteemmitt's gratitude for moose johnston was some moving shit
ReplyDeleteback from the woods just in time to leave comment #69. click your hooves.
ReplyDeleteIgor had a really good weekend.
ReplyDeleteYou won the lotto? Were cast in the new biopic "Thunder Road"? Are being sarcastic and spent yesterday in the clink?
ReplyDeleteis tiger toast? will he return to to his former self? is his career over? what's up with that goatee? ryder cup? world's #2?
ReplyDeletewill he get laid again? can he break 80 at whistling straits? the hank haney split - is he regretting how that went down? will he take up baseball? what IS his favorite color?
and one other question - is phil mickelson allergic to the #1 spot?
ReplyDeleteEvery one of d-train's questions are answered by one of 文王廷's links.
ReplyDelete