More Draft PRETTY Please!

I don't know about you guys, but I was kind of sick at looking at that dude's breasts. If I wanted to spend this evening looking at dudes' breasts, I'd walk into the bathroom, tear off this Indiana State Fair Corndog t-shirt (casual Friday), and stare at my tig ole bitties in the mirror. Therefore, you are getting yet another post in which to comment on Rounds 2 and 3 of the NFL Draft tonight. But wait, I'd be remiss if I didn't leave you with some nuggets from the draft section (re: bowels) of G:TB...a concept column once called "Gheorghe-pourri"...

**Whitney also didn't want to miss out on Filler Week, but unfortunately for him I was too lazy to load this clip up anytime in the last three days. Please, enjoy now. Actually, wait, now I remember what this clip was about. Um, good luck:


**TR left a college hoops post in drafts for a long time entitled"Here's to THE Loser! (and Several Other Losers)". Everytime I saw it I thought it deserved this as a soundtrack, which means I'm posting it, whether it was 21% done or 90% done:
The winner of the 2009-10 0-fer-the-conference award goes to the tri-state area's favorite Jesuit school, the Fordham Rams. The feeble Rams got pasted in all 16 of their conference games this year and finished a meager 2-26 overall. And while the A-10 has gotten some of its strongest press since the Lamar Odom and Yinka Dare days, let's face facts that it's not a brutal conference by any measure. No offense to the alma maters of Lionel Simmons, Jameer and Delonte or the late, great Dare, there are some soft teams in the lower rung of this conference. The average margin of loss was over 17 points in conference play, with only one legitimate squeaker, a 78-76 loss to UMass to start conference play.

After firing head coach Dereck Whittenburg (yes, THAT Whittenburg) in early December, things turned sour up in the Boogie Down Bronx. We salute you, Rams of Fordham. May your fans be allowed to drink away their sorrows in the venerable Dagger John's, the bar that is ingenuously located beneath your home court.

Honorable mention losers:

DePaul: 1-17 in Big East play, 8-23 overall.

Rice: 1-15 in Conference USA play, 8-23 overall. They don't care because they're smarter than you.

Dartmouth: 1-13 in Ivy League play, 5-23 overall. See Rice explanation.
Marist: 1-17 in MAAC play, 1-29 overall.

Toledo: 1-15 in Mid-American play, 4-28 overall.
Air Force: 1-15 in Mountain West play, 10-21 overall. Hard to crush a bunch of pilots that went 9-6 in OOC play.
Bryant: 1-17 in Northeast play , 1-29 overall. Arguably the worst showing in the nation. The Northeast is a putrid conference and the school could barely remain competitive. If you're wondering if your author had heard of the school before March 2010, the answer is a resounding no. The school appears to be located in Rhode Island. Their motto is "The Character for Success." Good for them.

UT-Martin: 1-17 in Ohio Valley play, 4-25 overall. The school is in Martin, TN. It has a friggin'rodeo program. I had no idea it was a rodeo sport. Awesome.

**I wanted to be cute the other day and say "Look, I found John Smoltz, looks like he doesn't want to pitch anymore..."then I got high...
**Finally, I searched the interwebs for the best second round picks of all time, and found a link which I now stupidly deleted, but had these names on it:

QB Brett Favre ’91

DE Fred Dean ’75
RB Thurman Thomas ’88

DE Mike Strahan ’93
RB Roger Craig ’83

DT Howie Long ’81
WR Chad Ochocinco ’01

DT Fred Smerlas ’79
WR Wesley Walker ’77

LB Jack Ham ’71
TE Dave Casper ’74

LB Jack Lambert ’74
OT Dan Dierdorf ’71

LB Rickey Jackson ’81
OT John Elliott ’88

CB Eric Allen ’88
G Steve Wisniewski ’89

CB Lem Barney ’67
G Larry Allen ’94

S Brian Dawkins ’96
C Dwight Stephenson ’80

S Tim McDonald ’87

Wither Darren Sharper?