Despite throwing an interception, Eli Manning looked really good in the Giants home opener yesterday. His uniform was especially clean and his shirt never came un-tucked, unlike some other Giants that I won’t deign to even name. Obviously, he’s been training hard in the off-season, because he even looked good from behind when he was in the huddle.
Manning looked good on the side-line as well. Instead of wearing his helmet all the time-- which looks weird and unfriendly-- or showing the television audience his helmet-hair, he wore a baseball cap with a crisp bill and a Giants logo. That looks good. Not that his helmet-hair looks bad: he’s wearing his hair short and neat, and he doesn't sport any “dreadlocks.” I hope he will look this good all season, and will not start to get bags under his eyes, like Troy Aikman. You’d think you’d be more nervous if you were playing in the game, rather than just offering color commentary, but Eli Manning certainly looked better than Troy Aikman this Sunday.
Manning looked good on the side-line as well. Instead of wearing his helmet all the time-- which looks weird and unfriendly-- or showing the television audience his helmet-hair, he wore a baseball cap with a crisp bill and a Giants logo. That looks good. Not that his helmet-hair looks bad: he’s wearing his hair short and neat, and he doesn't sport any “dreadlocks.” I hope he will look this good all season, and will not start to get bags under his eyes, like Troy Aikman. You’d think you’d be more nervous if you were playing in the game, rather than just offering color commentary, but Eli Manning certainly looked better than Troy Aikman this Sunday.
And that concludes Week 1's new segment "Dave is even gayer than I thought".
ReplyDeleteand the corollary, 'dave the english teacher has some 'splainin' to do'.
ReplyDeleteThe grammar police are looking at Dave like he's Ted Bundy.
ReplyDeletecharlie manuel let pedro martinez throw 130 pitches yesterday. that's malpractice.
ReplyDeleteI actually looked at it differently robert...the guy didn't pitch until the All Star Break, and I actually thought letting him throw that many pitches last night was a good thing, kinda like an extended Spring Training. Now, when he goes into the shitter the rest of the year, you can remind me of this comment.
ReplyDeletePedro, like me, could use some extra work to whittle away the double chin...
ReplyDeletethe problem with that metaphor, teej, is that all the evidence indicates that a pitcher's arm is most vulnerable after it reaches a certain level of repetitive stress in a single outing. that's exactly why pitchers are on pitch limits in extended spring training as they build their ability to withstand the stress of increasingly high numbers of pitches. to allow any pitcher, let alone a fragile one in his 5th start after missing nearly an entire season, to throw 130 pitches is borderline insane. or, in the case of uncle cholly, par for the course.
ReplyDeletedusty baker wonders what the fuss is about.
Charlie's FUPA makes all the calls.
ReplyDeleteDon't assholes have somewhere special to go where you can discuss baseball? Once football season starts, this space should be reserved for football, drunken stories and dick/fart jokes. I'm send you each a memo to follow this up. Any subsequent violations will result in a one drink penalty to be paid to me.
ReplyDeleteThat place, much like Han Solo, seems to be frozen in carbonite.
ReplyDeleteI am pumped and jacked for the start of the Alex Van Pelt Era tonight. I guess it's actually the Second Alex Van Pelt Era, and the First Era (which overlapped with the Todd Collins Era) was pretty terrible, but I'm pumped and jacked for the Second one nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteHere's a sampling of the First Alex Van Pelt Era.
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/o8zzqp
pat patriot!
ReplyDeleteand mark's not gonna be pleased with next month's announcement.
Why are the refs dressed like candystripers? Or are those Auburn throwbacks?
ReplyDeleteIs anyone watching tennis? DelPotro is going to win...
ReplyDeleteI've quoted Boris Becker here before in this regard. A fifth set is all about heart and who wants it more. I'll take Federer. Even if he's down luf-3.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Del Pot-ro dressed like Daniel LaRusso?
ReplyDeleteJeff Garcia, welcome back to Philadelphia. Boy oh boy is this QB soap opera gonna be good come Week 4.
ReplyDeleteYou guys need to stop doubting me on these picks. I have good instincts.
ReplyDeleteJerry just informed me my Del Porto joke was made in a Sports Guy chat. Lucky for me I don't read such chats and can still amuse myself with such witty tennis/Karate Kid jokes.
ReplyDeleteAs always, I'm an idiot.
ReplyDeleteSo is the game two MNF crew Gay Mike, Fat Mike and Ditka?
ReplyDeletesteve young, i believe, rather than ditka. and gtb's boy bronbron will be on with gtb's boy jon stewart this evening. expect a mention.
ReplyDeleteI hope Zeke Mowatt's junk made the Pats 50th Anniversary Team.
ReplyDeleteJon Gruden's suggestion to Dick Jauron for the 2nd Half?
ReplyDelete"Just keep playing"
Maybe it's not a surprise he's out of a job.
And holy hell Suzy Kolber, Mustafa wants his mane back.
on the one hand, poetic justice that the pats get flagged for the low hit personal foul. on the other, that's some chickenshit. even soccer players are laughing.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing one of those Survivor Pools this year, and a New England loss tonight would cut the field basically in half.
ReplyDeleteTrent Edwards, are you listening?
i like this mnf booth. tirico's really good at his job, jaws is a football savant who works his ass off, and gruden's both knowledgeable and insane. works for me.
ReplyDeleteDoes Jaws want to fuck Tom Brady or what? Jesus man settle down.
ReplyDeleteOK, Gruden just made me laugh right there with the "baggage" crack.
ReplyDeleteBummer...looks like Bodhi has caught his last wave.
ReplyDeletewe'll always have 'roadhouse'
ReplyDeletei apologize to the grammar police-- i had four minutes to write and post this before i had to bolt to soccer practice-- but i couldn't pass up the idea.
ReplyDeleteHow many pieces of flair are these officials required to wear?
ReplyDeletethis is a bitch-ass league.
ReplyDeleteWatching the Pats lose is always enjoyable. Though, I'm sure the Bills will find a way to blow it.
ReplyDeleteI know its cool to like throwback unis and hate today's unis but some of these unis are boring, simple crap. I could draw a better Buffalo than that red blob on the Bills' helmets.
ReplyDeleteWatch yourself...those are the OJ jerseys.
ReplyDeleteZoltan just popped another horse tranquilizer.
ReplyDeleteFuck you TJ. Anybody else think its a bit concerning that the Pats have thrown 50+ passes and seemingly can't run the ball for shit?
ReplyDeleteConcerning? Fuck the Patriots.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bills...
ReplyDeleteThat. Was. Awful.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I mean..dickface.
ReplyDeleteFucking Bills. The Pats haven't been able to run the ball since Corey Dillon retired. Instead they throw 4 yard passes.
ReplyDeleteBen Watson's been a fucking monster in the 4th. Never really thought he had that in him.
ReplyDeleteGood point Zoltan. They've had a couple years since then when where I'd argue they were at least competent but they certainly don't have a rep for being physical at the point of attack.
ReplyDeleteDick Jauron is happily munching his way through an extra-large bag of dicks right now.
ReplyDeleteAny chance Edwards gets this done?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but Brandon Merriweather created the fumble on McKelvin.
ReplyDeleteNo TJ...no.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way on God's green earth that Trent Edwards rains on Belichick's parade on opening night at home on Monday when Brady is coming back from injury.
ReplyDeletein case you're wondering, Leno is just as sucky at 10pm as he was at 11:30pm
ReplyDeleteBelichick went crewneck tonight? No hoodie?!
ReplyDeleteand thank God the Pats got it together.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Dave has an opinion on his fashion choice.
ReplyDeleteJauron was too preoccupied with his bag of dicks to keep track of his timeouts.
ReplyDeleteTrent Edwards looks like a less mobile version of Rob Johnson right now.
ReplyDeleteFucking Bills.
ReplyDeleteFuck the Patriots.
ReplyDeleteKSK will have fun with Suzy's postgame chase.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jaws. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteKSK 2: Chasing Tom Brady
ReplyDeleteI'd like to point out that two rookie receivers from the University of Florida started for their respective teams in their NFL debuts this week.
ReplyDeleteAttaboy JaMarcus.
ReplyDeleteThats just Jamarcus being Jamarcus.
ReplyDeleteHow does the list of worst starting QBs in the league look? JaMarcus is gotta be first or second on that list, right?
ReplyDeleteSomeone give Greenberg a roster.
ReplyDeleteCome on...show us the Norv Face...
ReplyDelete