"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat...I totally understand O.J. I get it." -Hulk Hogan (to Rolling Stone)
Not sure if anybody's heard, but the Yankees now play their baseball games on a new field. The flunkies who work the broadcasts for YES just called this the greatest sports venue ever built. Ugh.
I would try to pay attention to something else, but I'm unemployed.
John Fogerty sighting at the Yankee pre-game shindig. He's got a guitar made out of a baseball bat, he's standing in centerfield, and he's playing...wait for it...Centerfield. His hair helmet is incredible, his double denim outfit appears to have been ironed, and I think he's hiding a hickey with a red bandanna around his neck.
Foges is always good times. Unless you were a former member of CCR.
Unfortunately, they're showing Yankee highlights, not bloopers.
The following Yankee "greats" have just been announced and are walking to the field in navy varsity jackets:
Luis Arroyo, Jesse Barfield, Yogi Berra, Ron Bloomberg, Bobby Brown, Horace Clarke, Jerry Coleman, David Cone, Chili Davis, Bucky Dent, Al Downing, Ed Figueroa, John Flaherty (only 3 seasons w/ the team?!), Whitey Ford, Goose Gossage, Ken Griffey Sr (pushing 350 lbs.), Ron Guidry, Charlie Hayes (another 3 season guy), Rickey Henderson, Reggie Jackson, Tommy John, Jim Kaat, Don Larsen (enormous ears), Hector Lopez, (Constan)Tino Martinez, Lee Mazzilli, Gene Michael, Jeff Nelson (with a new Marine style flat-top), Graig Nettles, Paul O'Neill, Joe Pepitone (wearing a wig from the movie Goodfellas), Willie Randolph, Bobby Richardson, Mickey Rivers (in a pimp hat), Buck Showalter, Moose Skowron, Luis Sojo, Mel Stottlemyre, Ralph Terry, Bob Turley, David Wells, Roy White, Bernie Williams, and Dave Winfield (morphing into Stanley from The Office, if, apparently, Stanley had herpes).
Charlie Hayes caught the final out of the first Series win in 18 years, so I guess that's why he's there. Flaherty was in the broadcast booth. Jim Kaat played a season and a half, but he's out there because he's in the booth.
Johnny Damon and Nick Swisher have their own handshake thing going - they each do devil's horns with their right hand and fist-bump. It makes me happy to watch. Kinda like the way I smile when I watch the Special Olympics. The aggregate IQ of that duo is probably about 160.
And CC is in the bullpen with a wedgie that's got to be a foot long. Yogi Berra could get lost in there. I bet CC is no stranger to clogged toilets.
In case anyone was curious, Paul Davis is headed to Houston for the weekend. Seems like a pretty nice guy, but he was quite baffled when the ticket agent told him it was 15 bucks to check a bag. And he was at the counter trying to get an aisle seat for minimum 10 min.
I once ran into Paul Davis at Chicago O'Hare when he was working out for the NBA Draft. I just pointed at him and loudly exclaimed, "Holy shit! It's Paul Davis" and kept walking. I felt like the 7 footer walking thru the airport needed more attention drawn to him.
inspired by teej and mark (as usual), i checked in to mr. davis' nba resume. wow, he sucks. i thought he'd be better than 4 ppg and under 2 boards in 11 minutes/game.
i actually looked into mr. davis' resume. it's not a hotel, friends. if it were, though, it'd be one of those ones you see on the side of remote country roads with screen doors hanging off hinges, a couple of weatherbeaten pickup trucks in front, and a pair of underfed dogs sniffing about.
Jon Stewart got in on the juvenilia recently as well -- this topic lends itself nicely.
ReplyDeleteIs that Kevin Smith in that photo?
ReplyDelete"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat...I totally understand O.J. I get it."
ReplyDelete-Hulk Hogan (to Rolling Stone)
that's red meat for teejay right there.
ReplyDeleteI think that photo is either Cameron from Ferris Bueller (during the Spin City years) or Yoko Ono.
ReplyDeletejonny flynn hired an agent. bummer.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was Burr at a FNC-sponsored teabagging event.
ReplyDeleteZoltan...I may be a Republican, but I'm not a douchey Ron Paul/Glenn Beck Republican.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if anybody's heard, but the Yankees now play their baseball games on a new field. The flunkies who work the broadcasts for YES just called this the greatest sports venue ever built. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI would try to pay attention to something else, but I'm unemployed.
John Fogerty sighting at the Yankee pre-game shindig. He's got a guitar made out of a baseball bat, he's standing in centerfield, and he's playing...wait for it...Centerfield. His hair helmet is incredible, his double denim outfit appears to have been ironed, and I think he's hiding a hickey with a red bandanna around his neck.
ReplyDeleteFoges is always good times. Unless you were a former member of CCR.
Unfortunately, they're showing Yankee highlights, not bloopers.
We now have Bernie Williams in Foges' place, doing an instrumental jazz rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame.
ReplyDeleteSounds great, but it sucked out the energy from Centerfield. And Bernie has almost completely morphed into Mets' GM Omar Minaya. Weird.
The following Yankee "greats" have just been announced and are walking to the field in navy varsity jackets:
ReplyDeleteLuis Arroyo, Jesse Barfield, Yogi Berra, Ron Bloomberg, Bobby Brown, Horace Clarke, Jerry Coleman, David Cone, Chili Davis, Bucky Dent, Al Downing, Ed Figueroa, John Flaherty (only 3 seasons w/ the team?!), Whitey Ford, Goose Gossage, Ken Griffey Sr (pushing 350 lbs.), Ron Guidry, Charlie Hayes (another 3 season guy), Rickey Henderson, Reggie Jackson, Tommy John, Jim Kaat, Don Larsen (enormous ears), Hector Lopez, (Constan)Tino Martinez, Lee Mazzilli, Gene Michael, Jeff Nelson (with a new Marine style flat-top), Graig Nettles, Paul O'Neill, Joe Pepitone (wearing a wig from the movie Goodfellas), Willie Randolph, Bobby Richardson, Mickey Rivers (in a pimp hat), Buck Showalter, Moose Skowron, Luis Sojo, Mel Stottlemyre, Ralph Terry, Bob Turley, David Wells, Roy White, Bernie Williams, and Dave Winfield (morphing into Stanley from The Office, if, apparently, Stanley had herpes).
Charlie Hayes caught the final out of the first Series win in 18 years, so I guess that's why he's there. Flaherty was in the broadcast booth. Jim Kaat played a season and a half, but he's out there because he's in the booth.
ReplyDeleteI questioned Luis Sojo. And maybe Barfield -- he hit .231 as a Yankee.
ReplyDeleteAnd the usage of the rebel alliance's music from Star Wars when introducing the current Yankees is amusingly ironic. Well done.
ReplyDeleteJohnny Damon and Nick Swisher have their own handshake thing going - they each do devil's horns with their right hand and fist-bump. It makes me happy to watch. Kinda like the way I smile when I watch the Special Olympics. The aggregate IQ of that duo is probably about 160.
ReplyDeleteAnd CC is in the bullpen with a wedgie that's got to be a foot long. Yogi Berra could get lost in there. I bet CC is no stranger to clogged toilets.
Kelly Clarkson singing the National Anthem and looking awkwardly heavy, much like Audrey from European Vacation. God I miss Jack.
ReplyDeleteSojo did play for 7 different seasons and serve as a coach for a couple more.
ReplyDeleteBarfield was a bit of a bust. If they were gonna have him, why not invite Wayne Tolleson, Bobby Meacham and Kevin Maas?
How did the MLB network wrest this game away from ESPN? And with Costas doing the play-by-play, they are bringing it. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteIn case anyone was curious, Paul Davis is headed to Houston for the weekend. Seems like a pretty nice guy, but he was quite baffled when the ticket agent told him it was 15 bucks to check a bag. And he was at the counter trying to get an aisle seat for minimum 10 min.
ReplyDeleteI once ran into Paul Davis at Chicago O'Hare when he was working out for the NBA Draft. I just pointed at him and loudly exclaimed, "Holy shit! It's Paul Davis" and kept walking. I felt like the 7 footer walking thru the airport needed more attention drawn to him.
ReplyDeleteinspired by teej and mark (as usual), i checked in to mr. davis' nba resume. wow, he sucks. i thought he'd be better than 4 ppg and under 2 boards in 11 minutes/game.
ReplyDeletei actually looked into mr. davis' resume. it's not a hotel, friends. if it were, though, it'd be one of those ones you see on the side of remote country roads with screen doors hanging off hinges, a couple of weatherbeaten pickup trucks in front, and a pair of underfed dogs sniffing about.
ReplyDeleterough start in the new park...
ReplyDeleteDamaso Marte is getting the Ed Whitson treatment in the Bronx...
ReplyDeleteveras and marte creating quite a historical record for themselves. not quite pelfrey/gerut, but distinctive nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteTough day for the Celtics organization...
ReplyDeleteThe Marlins are 8-1. The Nattys are 0-7. Guess who comes to DC this weekend?
ReplyDeleteAdam Dunn just told me to suck it.
ReplyDeletehow is the bruins game not on tv in washington, dc? weird, i know.
ReplyDeleteThe Paul Davis episode of Millionaire Matchmaker is on Bravo right now.
ReplyDeleteDid we miss Paul Davis in the "good college players who sucked in the NBA" discussion? If so, consider it my bad. Or Mark's bad.
ReplyDeleteI think we did Greg...and I blame you.
ReplyDelete