rob insisted we post something this morning. So this is something. Last night, as I was headed from my work holiday party to my wife's work holiday party, I had the lovely experience of being drenched by not only the shitty freezing rain hitting our area, but by the ole "car drives through puddle" move. It was every bit as shitty as you might imagine. Looked kinda like this:
I feel super this morning. No semblance of walking pneumonia at all.
I really hate how so may offices have their work holiday parties this far away from Xmas. How about next Thursday so I can be drunk the last time I have to interact with the people I hate/work with before I leave for Xmas? I want an office Xmas party like the ones in Die Hard and Scrooged, where people get hammered, engage in inappropriate hookups and then don't have to see each other for a week or so afterwards.
ReplyDeleteOf course, its a lot better than my old job, where we went out to lunch for our Xmas party. That, my friends, is some bullshit.
The best defense for this is to turn your umbrella into a shield, pointing it towards the impending tsunami and crouching behind it, like William Wallace against a barrage of arrows.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you are sans umbrella, you're wet. And f*cked.
We were supposed to have our holiday party at the Hard Rock in Manhattan. Instead, they fired 500 people, cancelled that party and scheduled a "holiday gathering" in our building. We're guessing that means cupcakes and soft drinks for the company. It means an earlier train home for me.
ReplyDeleteThat's a far cry from two years ago, when we had the Javits Center to ourselves, a top-shelf open bar a surprisingly excellent set from Maroon 5 and a post-party stop at a bar that had an open tab, courtesy of a wasted MD.
During Maron 5's set, smoking hot young girls from my nerdy company were coming out of the woodwork and practically going into heat in the front row. Good times for those guys...
my office party is on january 31. i wish i were kidding. apparently we're celebrating both presidents day and valentine's day.
ReplyDeletei had the pleasure of socializing with teejay's work friends yesterday. our boy is quite the raconteur. i met work jerry, who is much cooler than teejay, just like wheelhouse jerry.
ReplyDeleteMy co-workers thought it was really cool that I knew a little person.
ReplyDeleteI bet they thought Rob was awfully arrogant for a midget, but just let it slide because they thought it was "neat" that somebody like him could carry himself with so much confidence, however displaced it might be.
ReplyDeleterob in a suit.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the way he could get up on the stool all by himself.
ReplyDeletei'm far more arrogant via blog than i am in real life, mark. i'm a veritable prince in person.
ReplyDeleteThats funny, because I'm far more arrogant in real life than I am via blog. I'm a fucking nightmare to be around in person.
ReplyDeleteIs this the equivalent to the drive by for whitey?
ReplyDeleteI watched someone get drenched like that on Constitution Ave last night. I struggled not to laugh. In an odd twist, my company has three Holiday parties...one was Wednesday, one next Wednesday and one next Thursday. Yep, that makes sense...
ReplyDeleteYour company is just being politically correct. You've got Xmas, Hannunkah and Kwanzo covered with these three parties.
ReplyDelete1. Glad TJ posted today--I was starting to worry about you guys.
ReplyDelete2. At the next GTB summit, remind me to tell you about the first Les Boulez office holiday party I went to.
yeah, we had some unavoidable real world issues yesterday. won't happen again.
ReplyDeleteshlara - we'll let you write the 7th day of gheorghe-mas if you promise to make it the les boulez story. 7 feet 7 inches of ghitsa photocopying his ass? legler drinking 7 glasses of punch and trying to coerce a secretary into the broom closet? 7 carols sung by the price brothers? cal cheaney missing 7 straight jump shots?
ReplyDeleteI second that. Best idea the midget dictator's ever had, I say.
ReplyDeleteGetting lifts mightve been his best idea, but this would be second.
ReplyDeleteshlara's been conspicuous in her silence.
ReplyDeleteteej, rhymo, zoltan - you guys pumped for the bernie williams reunion tour?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, so long as it's limited to the WBC.
ReplyDeletecashman won't be able to resist bernie's siren song. and sweet, sweet guitar stylings.
ReplyDeleteSorry! been stuck in a conference room. And, I'm not sure I can really put those stories in writing...let's just say that we were banned from having any holiday parties for several years...
ReplyDeleteoh, that's just mean.
ReplyDeletewake forest and unc are playing some entertaining soccer this evening. and, yes, i'm watching college soccer on a friday night. it's a little bit of a cry for help.
ReplyDeleteTribe lost 1-0 in OT to Wake Forest in the early rounds. We have a great tradition of OT losses against top teams.
ReplyDeleteWow. I always thought the JMU girls were hotter than the W&M co-eds. The Dukes' cheerleaders are providing a "not so fast, my friend" for me tonight.
ReplyDeletejmu is the new black...baggy sweater.
ReplyDeletei'm gonna stretch here and say that losing landers would be a problem for jmu.
ReplyDeleteJMU just can't get a key stop when they need it. And for a predominantly Caucasian offense, the Griz sure have a lot of speed.
ReplyDeleteAnd to Whit's comments about the ladies, I had a few road trips to JMU and can attest to the hotness and generally higher social acumen of the Lady Dukes.
sick free kick goal to end the maryland/st johns game. shame for the johnnies keeper - he was awesome all game.
ReplyDeleteI had a couple of interactions with JMU coeds in Key West and things turned out well. I can't be too mad at their ladies.
ReplyDeleteSo if UNC's men and women's soccer teams sweep the NCAA tourneys this year (the ladies already won), is that as big a deal as UConn having the men's and women's basketball champs at the same time? Or as big deal as the Gators being the defending football and basketball champs?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think so...
When I went to JMU for the game senior year I had heard for 4 years about how JMU girls were hot. Being from NJ I didn't have much of an opinion. They actually managed to exceed expectations. And they were nice. Coming from W&M, this was very weird -- almost uncomfortably so.
ReplyDeleteI thought about pulling for JMU based on conference pride, but I hate them way too much so I'm hoping Montana can hold on.
I also hate St. John's Soccer.
ReplyDeleteMickey Matthews has stuck with that $5 hat for a lot of years now.
ReplyDeletejmu's had some absurd late-game wins this year. these fuckers don't die easily. and shlara's gonna hunt you knuckleheads down if you don't start saying nice things about w&m girls.
ReplyDelete'course, i married a jmu girl.
Hunting guys who complain about W&M girls sounds like a full time job. I'll stipulate that there were probably a lot of ugly guys there if that makes things more palatable.
ReplyDeletenon-sequitur reference to a point mark made via email earlier: you should keep your si subscription, if only to read grant wuhl. his piece on northern state coach don meyer in this week's issue is worth the price.
ReplyDeleteSuck it JMU -- hot girls, high school offense, gay band, inappropriately powerful linemen.
ReplyDeletei hate richmond the way jerry hates jmu. the way the left the caa still pisses me off, and their lacrosse team was the dirtiest squad we played. conference pride will not get in the way tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteBoys, I just got home and am checking in...and I know that you're not talking about me when you make such disparaging remarks about the W&M girls...so I'm not going to take it personally.
ReplyDeleteBut, let's be honest, very few Tribe guys would make the cut for GQ, even though many of them thought they belonged there.
She's right.
ReplyDeleteShe was once overheard describing me as "hunkalicious," but she's right.