Get ready for a myriad of nonsensical baseball-related posts from G:TB in the next few months. Let the horror begin today with our version of the name game...Aaron Hill - A potential All-Star second baseman in the making for the Toronto Blue Jays. After two competent but unexciting seasons in the bigs, Aaron is absolutely smoking the ball to start the 2007 season: .313, 6 HR, 21 RBI, .586 SLG. His six homers already match his career high. Batting anywhere from 5th to 8th in a powerful Blue Jays line-up, Aaron should be able to excel all season long under the dim Canadian lights.
Henry Hill - American Mob legend. Had a great run. Lufthansa ended up being a big problem.
Shawn Hill - Given the uncertainty of John Patterson's paper mache arm, Shawn very well may be the Washington Nationals ace of the future (stop laughing, these guys are actually pitching much better lately...now, the hitting, yep, that is still atrocious). Hill is 2-3 on the year, but with a 3.00 ERA and 1.08 WHIP. The kid has 25 Ks to only 11 BBs. His worst start of the season was last night, where he gave up three earned in only 6.1 IP vs. the Padres. Prior to that start, he had not given up more than 2 ER in any game.
Alfred Hawthorn Hill, better known as Benny Hill - Comedic genius. Just look.
Rich Hill - Since Carlos Zambrano seems mentally incapable of leading a pitching staff, and Prior and Wood have finally become afterthoughts in Chicago, Rich is the young stud pitcher the Cubs thought they had (several times) the last 5 years. His 12-to-6 curveball is devastating, and a beauty to watch. 29 Ks, 11 BBs, a 3-1 record and 1.07 ERA (and even more absurd 0.87 WHIP). Swint, this guy is the Cubs future AND he's a Michigan alum - you need a jersey ASAP.
One Tree Hill - Crappy "teenage" drama Swint loves (these actors all make Ian Ziering's portrayal of an 18-year-old Steve Sanders believable). Bonus points for giving Rick Fox a job.
Also Receiving Votes: Hank Hill, cartoon patriarch; Bob Hill, ranges from horrendous (Grizzlies) to nondescript (second Magic stint) NBA coach.
And your winner: Rich Hill, King of the Hills...G:TB predicts a Cy Young award for the young Cubbie within the next three years.
Rick Fox is on One Tree Hill? I hope he's reprising his character (Jackson Vahue?) from Oz.
ReplyDeletesir edmund hillary
ReplyDeletehillary clinton
the hills have eyes
the western kentucky hilltoppers
glenallen hill
stop me before i hill again
Hunter Hillenmeyer?
ReplyDeleteThis is ghetting out of hand...
ReplyDeleteWhat about the walking ankle injury known as Grant Hill?
ReplyDeleteWow, I completely forgot about that guy...yet remembered the useless coach of his team. How the mighty have fallen.
ReplyDeleteThe Over-the-Hill-Gang Redskins come to mind.
ReplyDeleteWhat about NFL rookie Jason Hill?
ReplyDeleteAccording to Wikipedia, Jason Hill is childhood friends with Eric Wright (the recently drafted footballer, not Eazy-E) and is also best friends with new teammate Frank Gore. Well, isn't that special.
ReplyDeleteUh, come again?
ReplyDeleteCBS INTRODUCES THE 16 PIRATES COMPETING TO BECOME THE "PIRATE MASTER"
Cameron Daddo To Host
CBS today introduced the 16 pirates who will compete in PIRATE MASTER, the new reality-based series from Emmy Award-winning producer Mark Burnett, when the show premieres Thursday, May 31 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
Australian actor Cameron Daddo will serve as host.
PIRATE MASTER will send 16 modern-day pirates on a high seas adventure where they will live as buccaneers and travel around the Caribbean island of Dominica in search of hidden treasure that will total $1 million. Over the course of 33 days, these pirates will live aboard a massive 179 foot, square-rigged barque which carries 12,500 square feet of sail.
Each week, the pirates will embark on extraordinary expeditions where they will decipher clues along the way in search of missing treasure. Gold coins -- real money which the pirates may take with them beyond the show -- will be awarded after each expedition, but only to some. The gold will play a key role as pirates strike deals with each other or plead for long-term security. In addition to claiming the lion's share of the week's riches, one pirate will become the captain of the ship and will assign roles and chores to the remaining crew members, setting the tone for either law and order or betrayal and sabotage, which could lead to mutiny by the crew.
Each episode will conclude on the ship at Pirate's Court, a lively gathering of public speaking and judgment where one individual will be eliminated and "cut adrift." In the end, one will be the first to find the largest booty, worth $500,000, and claim the title of "Pirate Master."
TJ-- Did you have to look up who Jason Hill was? For shame.
ReplyDeleteI assume Hill and the ecstasy selling Wright grew up together out West. However, I'm curious as to how he and Gore are best friends considering they've always lived hundreds (and usually thousands) of miles away from each other. Actually, I'm not curious. Though I do find it strange.
No, I knew he was the Wazzu WR...but I needed the interweb to throw me a gem or two, which it did. Wonderful, wonderful interweb...
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to process this asinine pirate reality show.
I hope Feathersword has something to do with that pirate show, or I'm not watching.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record, the "first" The Hills Have Eyes was technically the second. The original was an indie classic that introduced us to . . . uh, the bald guy who had a hilarious role terrorizing Gary and Wyatt years later.
Hold the phone...did you just drop a Weird Science AND Wiggles reference in the same comment? That is scary.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's about right for my Nielsen group.
ReplyDeleteLeslie? Brigitte?
ReplyDeletei'm slightly more concerned that teejay caught the wiggles reference.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rob.
ReplyDeleteI learned a lot about the Wiggles after Rob said the lead singer guy had that "mystery illness".
ReplyDeletenobody parse that sentence too closely - you wouldn't like what you'd find
ReplyDeleteYou got me...at least when I'm gone I know G:TB will be in good (but tiny) hands.
ReplyDeleteSkip Bayless is on my television. How do I get him off of it? Thanks in advance.
ReplyDeleteOh, and what about Drew Hill...and Dru Hill?
ReplyDeleteSisqo thanks you for reminding people he existed.
ReplyDeleteAnd the only way to stop Skip Bayless is to shoot the TV Elvis-style.
Geoff always remembers Sisquo b/c of the way he stole Yancey Thigpen from him.
ReplyDeleteUh oh, can Sisqo be spelled as many different ways as the Qur'an? And did you ever think you would see "Sisqo" and "Qur'an" in the same sentence?
ReplyDeleteThe Thong Song was actually inspired by my and Yancey's breakup.
ReplyDeleteHere's a great list of possible things that Stephen Jackosn could do during a game that wouldn't surprise most NBA observers (courtesy of slamonline):
ReplyDelete– Re-enact the opening of The Last Boy Scout.
– Turn and suddenly bite a referee’s face off like Hannibal Lecter.
– Grab a folding chair from the front row and smash Dirk Nowitzki across the back with it.
– Shove a whistle down a referee’s throat.
– Pick up a mop from a ballboy and snap the stick across his knee.
– Use a towel to sneak up and pop Mark Cuban in the butt.
– Throw one of those giant Gatorade coolers onto the court.
– Set the scorers table on fire.
– Run up into the stands and attack a fan, helping to spark the largest brawl in NBA history. Oh, wait…
All completely plausible to me...
ReplyDeleteOh hell, I can't stay mad at Stephen Jackson. I mean, just listen to what he said to Charles Barkley during a taped interview during yesterday's shootaround:
ReplyDeleteJackson, looking straight into the camera, says to Barkley that he's been watching those T-Mobile commercials and he's done some "investigating" as to why Dwyane Wade can't get into Barkley's Fave Five.
"It's probably full," Jackson said. "Here's who's in it: McDonald's, Dominos, Burger King --it was Subway, but he pushed them out for Cinnabon, and Krispy Kreme."
Classic.
Oh...you mean becuase Charles is overweight? I get it. But why is he calling McDonald's? Should he just go there and get more food if he's hungry? I need more details before I buy into Mr. Jackson's theory.
ReplyDeleteQuiet down fatty.
ReplyDeleteThat hurts. I'm gonna go eat a gallon of ice cream until the pain of that comment fades away.
ReplyDeletemight as well. can't get any slower on the softball field.
ReplyDeleteWait til tonight. My leg is still a little banged up from last week, so i'll be at least 12% slower.
ReplyDeleteI think I weigh more than Geoff does.
ReplyDeleteNice timing:
ReplyDeleteThe Orlando Magic's team president will take two to three weeks to evaluate Brian Hill's performance coaching the team, and there are no guarantees Hill will return, the Orlando Sentinel reported.
He absolutely should not return.(Which of course, mean he will) His system has stunted the growth of many of the young guys and his offense is stilted and unimaginative.
ReplyDeleteI might be a bit off here, but doesn't it seem like the NBA hires more loser retread coaches than any other league? The NFL might be close, but for some reason I think NBA retreads are both more frequent and far, far more incompetent.
ReplyDeleteI'd say you're right on the mark. The NBA seems to thinkt hat if you've coached in the league before then you're better than anyone who hasn't. Whether it be an assistant coach, college coach of former player.
ReplyDeleteI will say that the level of complexity involved with NBA offenses/defenses has made it harder to find people capable of filling these positions. However, that's hardly an excuse for giving guys like Terry Stotts and Brian Hill 2nd and 3rd chances.
anybody seen the big lead today? this is one of the most batshit absurd thought processes i've seen in some time, and this guy seems to believe what he's written:
ReplyDeletehttp://thebiglead.com/?p=2271#more-2271
I just read it, and subsequently voiced my displeasure. That is so dumb that it's not worth arguing the point.
ReplyDeleteagreed - i nearly posted the same thing. i hope he wrote it as a hoax, but i think he actually believes it.
ReplyDeleteMy comment was removed.
ReplyDeletedid you use naughty words?
ReplyDeleteSo Rob, are you saying that you wouldn't have enjoyed my potential NBA Draftees as World Cup Soccer players post form last summer?
ReplyDeletei would have enjoyed that immensely, because i'd have recognized your comedy stylings.
ReplyDeleteChrist, I go to a 2 hour liquid lunch with Geoffy and all hell breaks loose...after perusing that post, all I can say is that guy is whack.
ReplyDeleteDubliner?
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Our favorite glasswipe somehow talked me into three lunch Guiness.
ReplyDeleteBut of course...
ReplyDeleteAnd my post is back up on Big Lead...so we'll guess it was a technical difficulty.
ReplyDeleteyou had 3 lunches with your guinness? not a great way to maintain that adonis-like physique, lad.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I even come to work today?
ReplyDeleteTo comment about Roger Clemens, naturally. Hangover be damned, the G:TB fan base wants your take. Now.
ReplyDeleteI've never been a big Clemens guy, and I think that announcement yesterday was as egotistical as it gets, but lord knows the Yankees need another starting pitcher right now, so I am glad to have him on the field in a month. Hopefully the Red Sox lead in the AL East will still catchable.
ReplyDeleteI see the Nats have lost 5 in a row and once again have the worst record in baseball at 9-22. Excellent work fellas, right on track for triple digit loses.
ReplyDeleteHere's a nifty little Clemens piece from a couple of years ago by Olbermann.
ReplyDelete(search on Clemens)
TJ's boy getting some love...
ReplyDeletehttp://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/luke_winn/05/07/cubs/index.html
god bless keith olbermann
ReplyDeletehow about syracuse not making the ncaa lax tourney?
ReplyDeleteanyone?
hello?
Um, lacrosse? No thanks...
ReplyDeletehow about some clemens predictions from the rocket surgeons here at g:tb?
ReplyDeletestarts: 22
record: 9-7
yankees' record: 14-8
era: 3.98
innings/start: 5.8
I will happily take that.
ReplyDelete'Nots Stat of the Day:
ReplyDelete2.75: Run support for Nationals' starters heading into last night's game, the lowest in baseball, according to Stats Inc. (Defined as runs scored while the starter is in the game.)
This place sure is recovering from the weekend slowly.
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling to breath. Like a dying fish.
ReplyDeleteI might...might...feel halfway normal by tomorrow. We will see.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I'm impressed by how hard you all must've gone after it this weekend or ashamed by your lack of bounce back.
ReplyDeleteA little of Column A...a half-dozen of the other.
ReplyDelete