Ponson wears his pot belly like a crownHe calls his child Jesus
'cause he likes the name
And he sends him to the finest franchise in town
Ponson, Ponson likes his money
He makes a lot they say
Spend his days counting
In a bullpen by the motorway
He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day
When the New York Post said the Yanks are dead
And the wars begun
Brian Cashman has a son today
And he shall be Ponson
And he shall be a good man
And he shall be Ponson
In tradition with the family plan
And he shall be Ponson
And he shall be a good man
He shall be Ponson
Ponson throws cartoon sliders in town
His family business thrives
Jesus blows up balloons all day
Sits on the porch swing watching them fly
And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Ponson far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Ponson, Ponson slowly dies...
And he shall be Ponson...and he shall be a good man...
ReplyDeleteHave fun with that...no really.
ReplyDeleteThere is no chance this could go poorly...no chance...
ReplyDeleteHow the hell did Jim Bowden pull off that trade with the Reds?? Am I missing something here...things are looking up in Washington my friends. Not that it will matter this year...
ReplyDelete"We paid a steep price," Reds general manager Wayne Krivsky said. "I'm sure this will be a controversial trade. I know a lot of people will be leaving nasty messages on my voicemail, and I'll have some who think it's great."
ReplyDeleteLadies and gentleman, I give you the Bama of the Week, Reds GM Wayne Krivsky.
this is a guaranteed deadspin link. well done, tombone.
ReplyDeleteAnd we all know Ponson killed and ate the poor Holloway girl, right?
ReplyDeleteIn regard to Wayne Krivsky, I believe AC/DC summed it up best:
ReplyDelete"He's got big balls...he's got big balls..."
Getting fleeced by Jim Bowden in a trade is certainly not something I'd want on my resume if I was looking for a front office job in baseball. Which Krivsky's sure to be doing soon.
ReplyDeleteHas Krivsky commented on what good he thought came out of the deal?? Does he really think Majewski is that good?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, he is currently glued to the BIG RED BUTTON (not the recently deceased guy), smoking a blunt and downing a 40 oz...
ReplyDeleteSquirrel, do we bench Felipe Lopez as he's moving from Cincy's chili can to DC's Bohemian Cavern?
ReplyDeleteyeah, lugo's probably going somewhere, too, but he's a better bet now.
ReplyDeleteBoys, can't you see this comments section is intended for far more important discussions than your fantasy team?
ReplyDeletePoop
Fair enough. Feel free to launch into any one of these enlightened discussions:
ReplyDelete1. Austin Kearns -- a Dubliner man or an Irish Times dude?
2. True/False: did the epithet "rube" really originate from dorky Aruban pitcher Sidney Ponson?
3. Wayne Krivsky -- wasn't he "The Grate One"?
4. What's of less value, another overpriced worthless pitcher to the Yankees, or the Fixins Bar to TJ?
5. So, how will this trade affect Felipe Lopez's offensive production? Of course, I don't mean from a fantasy perspective, but I'm just curious from a major statistical categories angle.
Enjoy.
his name's austin. any guy with a name that floofy is unlikely to frequent a drinking establishment that doesn't include ferns as a major decorative element.
ReplyDeleteoh. sorry.
Reasons Working At Home Is Nice, #371: when you wet your pants laughing a little too hard, you can either fearlessly saunter to change them . . . or not!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Greg.
Reason #1 why I hate Whitney: See Above.
ReplyDeleteESPN.com's Keith Law doesn't seem to think too highly of this trade:
ReplyDeleteThe Reds' apparent strategy here -- trading some of their offensive depth for pitching help -- is sensible, but their specific choices here make no sense. I don't see any way in which trading two of the top 50 hitters in the league for questionable relievers helps the Reds. The most charitable analysis would say that they've acquired 50-60 better bullpen innings at the cost of 400-450 good plate appearances, but given the volatility of reliever performance and Majewski's wildness, there's a good chance that the Reds won't see any benefit in their pen as a result of this deal. Had the Reds traded some spare parts or even good prospects for Majewski and Bray, I could understand it, but they have probably now taken the league's second- or third-best offense and made it merely average.
And I learned long ago drinking alone is awesome...thank you George Thorogood.
ReplyDeleteI also like to mix drinking alone with "electing the pope" alone...that's when you really start talking to yourself.
ReplyDeletethe wife and kids are out of town, so i'll be enjoying some solo drinking this evening. trying to decide between downing a bottle of oregon pinot noir or polishing off what remains of a bottle of macallan. or both.
ReplyDeleteDamn. I am supposed to go see the Black Crowes tonight, so I'll be drinking with a couple thousand people. Reading this makes me want to just tear up the tickets and break into that Jameson 12 that's been making eyes at me.
ReplyDeleteI drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
ReplyDeleteI drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
Now, every morning, just before breakfast,
I don't want no coffee or tea.
Just me and my good buddy Weiser.
That's all I ever need.
Cause I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
Now, the other night I lay sleeping,
And I woke from a terrible dream.
So I called up my pal, Jack Daniels,
And his partner Jimmy Beam.
And we drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
Well, the other night I got invited to a party,
But I stayed home instead.
Just me and my pal Johnny Walker,
And his brothers Black and Red.
And we drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drank alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
Well, my whole family done give up on me,
And it makes me feel so bad.
The only one who'll hang out with me
Is my dear old Granddad.
And we drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
We drink alone, yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
In truth, normally I refuse to drink alone, claiming that this separates me from the true alcoholics. Brilliant logic.
ReplyDeleteBut with the Mets on the tube (albeit in a rain delay right now), I feel like a beer. Since the game is being called by Jon Sciambi, whom I knew when he went to W&M for a year, does that count as not quite drinking alone?
You know, TJ, hanging out with you in real life these days feel like it's missing something. And that something is the Internet. I feel like you need a mini-PC at your disposal so you can quickly come up with this stuff when it comes up in bar-side conversation. Work on it?
ReplyDeleteI'm going down to the Billy Goat to stare at a TV and drink beers. Now, there will be people on the barstools next to me, but I'm still drinking alone right? Or is this about the physical space as well?
ReplyDeleteI recommend the Treo 700 or if, your a windows guy, there's the pocket PC...both available at your nearest Sprint retail outlet...
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 00's, Whit.
This afternoon conversation has been fantastic. I drank alone (and did a little pope electing too)last night. Normally, I'm a beer and a shot guy but last night I knocked back about five 7&7's. Man, they were going down easy. Did I mention I was taking an online traffic class while I was drinking? Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteFor the record "TJ", I'm with Whitney. After months of discussions on this and other blogs I feel as when we actually hang out in N.O. it's going to be terribly awkward (ngs). Well, at least until we get a handful of shots in us.
Thanks for ruining Deadwood "Tim".
I already watched Deadwood this week. I was referring to the Dan/Warren revelation. Head, still, spinning...
ReplyDeletefor the record, i went with the macallan. i needed it to make it through tonight's sox game.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little late to the game here, but Sidney Ponson? The, I assume still coiffed, Sidney Ponson? If that ends up working in any possible way I will have to end myself. On the other hand, if he hijacks the team bus in a drunken stupor one day and drives it off a bridge, well ....
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, as far the Reds, my impression was that when you're making deals towards furthering your playoff chances, you generally want to be the team that's getting the name player, generally. But I think you'd have to say that Kearns is the name player in the Washington deal, so yeah, you gave up a functional bat for some questionable relief pitching. Congrats I guess.
As you say TJ, if they call up offering Griffey and Dunn for, hell, I'll give Sosa, Ray, and Paronto, I think it. I'll even pay for Paronto's meals.
This seems like important information, in light of John Thompson being the worst radio "personality" in the history of broadcast radio...
ReplyDelete"Starting Tuesday (7/18) on 92.7, 94.3, and 730, the RedZeb line-up will be: 6 AM "Mike And Mike," 10 AM Colin Cowherd, noon Larry Michael (only one hour instead of the rumored three), 1 PM Dan Patrick, 4 PM John Riggins and Bram Weinstein, 7 PM "ESPN Game Night," 11 PM "ESPN Up All Night"....."
Wow, that Barbaro just doesn't know when to give up, eh...
ReplyDeletePutting us on, right?
ReplyDeleteHello Greg...
ReplyDeleteDarius Songaila for 5 years and $23 million? Holy Ouch. I know that the Wiz were desperate for something, anything inside but this is Brian Scalabrine territory here.
ReplyDeleteDios Mio...
ReplyDelete