I want my two dollars!

Tourney Time in 19 hours, let's see if I can shed some light on these brackets, with a little help from old pals Lane Myer and Charles De Mar (Dennis, Whitney, Rob, Bueller, feel free to jump in):

Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky...To poor saps Alabama, Texas Tech, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Utah and Cincy, my choices to choke in Round 1.
Suicide is never the answer little trouper...To Roy Williams, who according to all media outlets is set to hang himself if his UNC squad has to match up against his former kids from Kansas in the Elite 8. Frankly, this might be the most overblown subplot short of the Illinois travel schedule (as mentioned by Jerry yesterday).
How are we going to get real drugs in this town? We can't even get cable!...To Salim Stoudamire and the rest of the Arizona Wildcats, trapped in Boise, ID with no weed to smoke, I presume. Or maybe Boise has lots of drugs for the Stoudamire kid. Who knows.
What's a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this?...To Duke's J.J. Redick. Shame on you J.J., back to the Joyce Kilmer and Robert Frost.
She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile...To Gonzaga's Ronny Turiaf, who I believe is French. Maybe he knows Tony Parker.
Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that...To three very underrated white guys you might not know about - Nevada's Nick Fazekas (overshadowed last year by Kirk Snyder), ODU's Alex Loughton (CAA Player of the Year), and Iowa's Adam Haluska (Iowa State transfer who has been huge since Pierre Pierce went Lawrence Phillips on his girlfriend).
Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn...To the Fightin' Illini's Dee Brown, who I have leading his team to the Final against...well, you'll just have to wait for Final 4 picks until tomorrow...

Gotta run, my little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave, my mom had to take him to the hospital, my grandma dropped acid this morning, she freaked out, hijacked a busload of penguins, so it's sort of a family crisis...bye...