Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

SHAQ!
Ya damn right!

So finally we are getting some beautiful tabloid stuff (New York Daily News) from the Kobe Fiasco:
"Bryant stated he should have done what Shaq does. Bryant stated that Shaq would pay his women not to say anything. He stated Shaq has paid up to a million dollars already for situations like this."

You see this cat Shaq is a bad mother-
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
But I'm talkin' about Shaq

Now here's the real gem:
"Bryant, 26, also insisted he hadn't thought of a payoff because he treats women much better than his gargantuan teammate."

Cut to quick shot of Kobe devouring a size 13 Nike. The gang at The Smoking Gun have done the dirty work of scouring the transcript of Kobe's interview with the cops (Start reading at the red arrow) - It's a beaut.