Not to harp (oh who am I kidding), but Denny Green, this Week 2 quote isn't going away anytime soon: "System-wise, and style-wise, this is probably the best offense in the NFL." He was talking about his OWN offense. Sunday's final score - Falcons 6, Cards 3. The Cardinals were sacked 6 times, lost 4 fumbles, and gained 3.8 yards per play. I mean, come on, Denny's making this too easy.
Usually clueless younger brother Corey Simspon caught the Pat Summerall highlight of the night. As Pat was sending it to my girl Suzy Kolber on the sideline, he dropped this gem: "For moron Norv Turner, here's Suzy..." There was no pause between the words "more" and "on", just sloppy enunciation that is the perfect assessment of Norv, unintentional comedy at its best. Good work Pat, and good work Corey Simspon - now get off my couch.
In no particular order, a tip of the cap to:
- Pedro (not the one you think), who runs a splendid operation on the North Carolina/South Carolina border aptly titled "South of the Border". High quality merchandise at very reasonable prices (sorry, I could barely stop laughing long enough to type that). A must stop if driving to/fro Myrtle Beach or points south. And if you think Pedro's multi-colored billboards are overkill, you apparently weren't subjected to the ESPN marketing push for "Hustle".
- AM Radio, for providing completely random entertainment all along the I-95 corridor. Whether it was picking up the Yankees game on AM 630 in South Carolina, or learning from some Jim Baker clone that the devil can be found everywhere in our daily lives, or just listening to Sean Salisbury take an axe to the Kansas City Chiefs, AM Radio kept me sane.
- FM Radio, for making sure it was impossible to miss a single lap of the MBNA America 400. Man, NASCAR is out of control.
- Kevin Brown, for pitching like an absolute donkey, allowing me to still hate him alot. F U Kevin Brown. (Let's pause for a moment. I also would like to berate whoever it was - Torre, Cashman, Big Stein - that decided pitching Brown at Fenway with a barely healed broken hand was a good idea.)
- The guy running for office (councilman, state representative, who cares) in North Carolina who decided his platform, plastered for all to see on a highway billboard, would be "Get the United States out of the United Nations". Now, I'm no political expert, but I'm gonna bet his constituents might have slightly different issues on their minds than the USA's role in the United Nations. For instance, why the Nathan's is closed at the T&A truck stop off Exit 123.
- The New York Mets, for climbing out of their collective graves and showing some sack. Though, as Whitney mentioned, the Cubs losing only increases the likelihood of the Giants in the playoffs, and frankly, I don't want any part of that. That NL Wild card is an absolute crapshoot, but personally I'm looking for the Cubs to win the WC and the Padres to improbably sneak in and win the NL West. Maybe I can get Jeff Brantley on my side.
- Miniature golf, the only kind of golf where I'll ever sniff par. "You're gonna die, clown."
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