Unbeknownst to us, although the Teej might've felt a disturbance in the force, researchers at the University of Zurich have been quietly working on one of our enduring challenges. That being solving the problem of how, exactly, to extract riches from underwear.
My friends, we may have a breakthrough.
The summary of a recent Science News article tells the whole story:
More than 1,000 volunteers buried cotton underwear across Switzerland to help scientists measure how active different soils are. The faster the fabric disappeared, the more biological activity was taking place underground. Gardens showed the fastest decomposition, while lawns had the least, revealing how strongly land management can shape soil life.
The results were interesting scientifically. Turns out that private gardens are the most active biological sites, as measured by the decomposition of the underpants. Agricultural fields and meadows were next, with lawns the least active.
Now comes the slightly harder part. We have findings that are a signpost towards the future. All we have to do is:
- Collect underpants
- ? (but it somehow involves soils)
- Profit
I think you all know the next step.
I didn't get around to writing a US Open preview, so here's a quick take. The disparity between Ben Shelton's forehand (incredibly good, he has access to a ridiculously wide range of angles from anywhere on the court) and backhand (pretty timid and narrow compared to the forehand) is the biggest I can think of since Stefan Edberg (who had one of my top three favorite backhands and perhaps the worst forehand ever). He has improved his backhand a lot though. If he hits a lot of slice one-handers you know he's in trouble--modern pros typically do that when they're in distress or don't have confidence that they can come over the top of the ball cleanly from whatever position they're in. His serve is gonzo right now and he beat Alcaraz (admittedly not in top form but he's still Alcaraz). I loathe Zverev (multiple girlfriends accused him of physical abuse) but he plays bigman tennis as well as anyone right now and he's on a streak. That said I'm taking Shelton in four.
ReplyDeleteHey z, interesting to me that Zverev, from all I've read, is generally accepted as friendly and good dude in locker room despite accusations. Don't know if reflects a kind of no-judgment mentality or because big-time tennis is everybody going to separate cars and going different directions, so nobody pays attention or cares.
ReplyDeletecaptain america loses to the giant german ubermensch. boo.
ReplyDeletebut jets/giants superbowl coming!
ReplyDeleteSo if a ball leaves the quarterback's hand and goes backwards, but there was a forward motion of his arm prior to that, it's a forward pass?
ReplyDeleteI mean it's not, it is by physical attributes a backwards pass. But in the NFL, it's a forward pass.
File that one with the Tuck Rule, a football move, and the other silliness the league has written into code.
Week 1 of both college and pro football has had some by-law head-scratchers leaving a lotta people pissed.
There you go again, Whit, with your logic and common sense and eyeball test notions. Next you'll be saying we can't make money off our skivvies.
ReplyDeleteThe word skivvies takes me back to my youth in an amusing way. My family used this term a lot when speaking of drawers.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere along the way we called them underjohnnies. But skivvies reigns supreme.
A happy posthumous birthday to both Ed King and Steve Gaines. Amazingly.
ReplyDeleteEd King was the 3rd guitar of the Three Guitar Army (so damn good) in Lynyrd Skynyrd from 1972-1975, when he had had enough and bowed out. A year later, they replaced him with Steve Gaines. A year after that, the plane crashed near the Mississippi-Louisiana line and Steve Gaines was dead, along with his sister, Ronnie Van Zant, and a few other people. Super tragic, and Ed King always saw himself as incredibly lucky (until his death 41 years later).
Both were terrific Skynyrd guitarists, and it's just curious that they both were born on September 14, 1949.