Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Last week's Sports Illustrated included this article on Rafael Nadal. I suspect it will become the perfect story to sum up tennis' steroid era. S.L. Price writes:
It's that attitude that had made Nadal—a natural righthander who was raised on clay and once used his serve merely to start rallies—the best lefthander since Rod Laver, an all-surface player with one of the best volleys in the game, and a server whose average delivery had risen in the past year from 107 mph to 119. Then, in an August practice session before the Open, Nadal shifted the grip on his racket to stabilize his wrist and began popping serves in the low 130s. He was broken only five times in New York.So Nadal picked up 12 MPH on his serve through hard work? Then he picked up another 11+ MPH by shifting the grip on his racket? I'm not sure that hard work and a grip shift adds that much pop. And it took him 8 years on the pro tour to realize that he was holding his racket wrong? And he's a natural rightie?!?
I think Nadal picked up some extra oomph at Dr. Galea's office.
Here's a photo of Nadal taken at this year's U.S. Open.
Here's an undated photo I found (in TR's bathroom, of all places); I'm not sure if it was altered.
I'm not the first person to think that tennis has a steroid problem. Go to that link for photos of insanely jacked female tennis players ... if you're into that sort of thing.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
If you have a minute, I suggest you throw up the clip of Will Hill trucking a guy on the Gator sidelines in a wheelchair during Saturday night's game. It will certainly ease the transition into another week for everyone by providing a few laughs. And if you haven't seen it, it will brighten your morning as well. I put it up on my twitter feed yesterday and I'm sure there are even better clips of it now. Make it happen.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Arkansas is going to score on Bama. Over 20, I'm guessing. To this point, I haven't been blown away by Bama's D. Penn State moved the ball fairly easily in the early going and Arkansas has much better offensive talent. Chris Childs is an NFL WR and DJ Williams is the #1 or 2 TE prospect in the country. Mallet is obviously a huge upgrade over Robert Boldin. The chess match between Petrino (a really gifted offensive coach) and Saban should be great to watch. Bama wins, but they don't cover. Arkansas blows it due to either turnovers or redzone inefficiency.
- South Carolina v. Auburn has great potential. South Carolina needs to win this game if they're going to be considered a legit SEC contender. Auburn is beat up from last week's game against Clemson and a win on the road would be a big boost to the Gamecocks confidence. However, winning on the Plains (at night) is no easy task. I don't trust either QB in a big spot late in the game. If I had to choose, I'd go with Cam Newton but that's just because I value my new laptop. Auburn, just barely.
- The RB matchup in the USCe-Auburn game should be fun. Marcus Lattimore has gotten all the pub nationally, but Auburn's freshman RB, Michael Dyer, was the only RB rated above Lattimore in last year's high school rankings. He's an MJD type back in build and style. I'd set the over/under for number of carries for these two at 60, and I'd take the over. At one point last year both of these guys were Auburn commits. Scary.
- Speaking of scary, Florida v. Kentucky scares me. UK can score, lots. In Brian Hartline, Derrick Locke and Randall Cobb they have 3 very experienced and talented offensive playmakers. Florida's D has been pretty good thus far (save for a couple breakdowns on the back line last week) but this will be their biggest test by far. I'm extremely happy this game is in Gainesville as I feel the home crowd will encourage the coaches to open it up a little offensively. And that's a good thing because, in my opinion, the UF coaches are going to have to take the chains off the passing game a bit if they want to have a shot a winning this game by a comfortable margin. Also, if you're going to open it up a bit, tonight is definitely a better setting than next Saturday night in Tuscaloosa.
- Terrible, inexcusable DUI (45 in a 20, on campus with two (yes, two) open bottles of Crown) or not, Frankie Hammond needs to start seeing a lot more time at WR for Florida. He caught a TD last week and seems ready to get himself back in the regular rotation at WR. This is a necessity if the Gator's offense is going to become capable of making big plays in the passing game. He was the second best receiver for UF in the spring and has proven himself to be a playmaker in games and practices during his time at UF. He's the Gators' best route runner and he has the speed to test defenses deep. Look for him to see more action in the slot and on some deep post routes.
- Boise State v. Oregon State: Sorry, despite the Beaver's recent history of upsets over top 5 teams, I just can't see them going into Boise and knocking off a very good, experienced team that knows it's season is dependent on what they do in there few national showcase games.
Friday, September 24, 2010
A parrot in Colombia has been arrested after it was seized during a police drugs raid.Wait, what? You arrested two other birds? It's an epidemic.
According to environmental authorities, Lorenzo the parrot was trying to tip-off a local drug cartel when officers conducted an undercover raid early Wednesday. "This parrot was sending out alerts," said police officer Hollman Oliveira. "You could say he was some sort of watch bird."
Authorities claim Lorenzo is one of nearly 1700 parrots seized by officials after being trained by drug traffickers to act as lookouts. Lorenzo caused quite the stir on Wednesday as he was presented to journalists. The well trained creature even showed off his look out skills as he yelled out: "run, run you are going to get caught."
"He spent the whole morning saying that," police Colonel Freddy Veloza told RCN television. Despite Lorenzo's attempts, Veloza's officers still managed to seize more than two-hundred weapons, a stolen motorcycle and a large quantity of marijuana. At least four men and two other birds were also arrested in the raids.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Now, I was not going to let a small fan turnout ruin my evening. Oh no not me. After several adult beverages and some atrocious food concessions, I decided to mix things up and berate Screech a bit, basically accusing him of being a Braylon Edwards-esque drunk driver. No, I do not know why I thought that was a good approach. Screech got me back the only way a dude (or gal) bumming in a mascot costume can...by sitting right next to me for an entire half inning.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Coach: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Turner: Cat Game? What's the record?
Coach: Gibbs did six, but I think you can do ten.
Turner: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
[Shanahan laughs, then buzzes Frieda to have Larry shown in]
Larry Johnson: Sorry about the 10 yard disoriented run last week...
Turner: All right meow. (1) Hand over your playbook and minibar key.
[Shanahan gives the peace sign over LJ's shoulder]
Larry Johnson: Sorry.
Turner: Is there something funny here LJ?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Turner: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Turner: Am I saying meow?
Larry Johnson: I thought...
Turner: Don't think LJ. Meow, (4) do you know how slow you were going?
Turner: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Turner: Do I look like a cat to you, LJ? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Shanahan is peeing his pants with laughter]
Turner: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
Turner: Do you see me eating mice?
Turner: You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson: Yes sir.
Turner: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to release you today. No buts meow. (8) It's the way of the Not-For-Long league.
Turner: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Turner: Meow! (10)
Playboy is putting the "Wow" in J-WOWW.
RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that there is a $400,000 offer from the mag for the Jersey Shore star to pose naked. We've also learned that the deal is not final and may face contractual obstacles from the reality TV show.
"Talks have been going on for a long time now and the highest offer she has received is $400,000," revealed our source.
The curvaceous reality TV star, whose real name is Jeni Farley, has been talking about the news and seems enthusiastic about getting naked.
"Final offer is standing," J-Woww tells E! Online. "Hopefully, it will go through."
RadarOnline.com learned exclusively that negotiations began at $200,000 and the $400,000 offer is contingent on full nudity. Topless only photos would lower the offer.
MTV's The Hills star Heidi Montag stripped for the magazine never bared all. At this point it 's still unclear as to how much the Jersey Shore guidette will show. But sources tell RadarOnline.com, her MTV contract could be the real reason fans will see less skin.
Playboy told RadarOnline.com "no comment" when asked about the deal and the dollar amount.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
So if anyone has a couple of acres out in the country they're not using, please let me know. I won't take up much room - few hundred square feet, tops. And I'll be fairly quiet, too.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Listen, Carolina-Tampa Bay is only so entertaining. And I do really enjoy this clip, despite my obvious affiliation with, and love for, the University of Florida.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Mini-moo: 33-inch English cow world's smallestOddly enough, this cow could produce enough burgers to feed rob until 2018...
LONDON – A minuscule cow with a taste for contemporary music has been named the world's smallest by the Guinness World Records book. Guinness says the sheep-sized bovine from the West Yorkshire region of northern England measures roughly 33 inches (84 centimeters) from hind to foot. The 11-year-old cow is named Swallow and her owner, Caroline Ryder, said she would spend Thursday either grazing with her herd or listening to BBC radio in her cowshed. Swallow is a Dexter cow, a breed known for its diminutive stature, but is small even by Dexter standards.
Instead of Dexter, shouldn't these be called "Webster" cows?...
And yeah, there's a joke in there about the cow's name...just too lazy...
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Okay, I was really playing golf at the Robert Trent Jones Club. It was a little island of awesome in the ocean of misfit toys that's been my existence for the last few months. Teams of professionals are working on my case, though, so we're expecting a breakthrough soon. Almost holed out from a bunker on 18, then ate a steak sandwich. And a steak sandwich.
Monday, September 13, 2010
- hurricane igor
- gheorghe the blog jason marquis game changer
- eight-day rental gheorghe
- we got some canes over here
- circus peanuts
- worst rock songs of all time
- sadler pi lam
- rachel glandorf
- wiz khalifa gheorghe the blog
- have you heard about the lonesome loser
- internet corn hole
- dewon brazelton girlfriend
- janet jones hot for teacher
- generic viagra blogspot post a comment
- diarrhea fuck
- flux capacitor fluxing
- jimmy connors asshole
- thursdays with maury
- silencing mary court tv
- 1980 topps baseball cards, january 1980
- alfonso ribeiro shirtless
- bea hamel
- cee lo green
- circus peanut contest
- diorama blogspot
- don marcari
- facial expressions in film
- fresh prince
- jay baller
- john murray in teen wolf
- kari wührer
- kevin youkilis summer catch
- lance mehl
- making fuck
- mike magnante pension
- old snowboards
- shawn marie love (allegedly an illegitimate child of cousin and fellow beach boy mike love
- stan kasten email
- whitesnake video girl
- as a young jag officer
- battle of the beaches hoppa
- game on garth""
- greg kihn kihn of hearts blogspot
- heartburn won't keep coming back dance
- how to fuck a shoe
- hung like a horsefly song
- i don't truck with no sissies
- i once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. they were both very drunk!
- i'm not coming in by they might be giants mp3
- janet jonesgretzky botox
- known to do the impossible like broadway joe shirt
- lowell stanley the hammer
- mark gastineau wishes happy birthday
- pink belly baseball
- revenge of the nerds yellow jumpsuit
- ron gant convicted of murder of estranged wife
- russ francis gay
- sand dollars cape cod national seashore
- seasick steve tattoos
- smooth jesse palmer
- tortugas lie cadaveres -banks -nags -kill -carolina -sauce
- valtrex post a comment blogspot
- vinsane florida
- wearing anything under that jacket
- yes i am going to have, eh, 3 fingers of glenlivet with a little bit of pepper, and some cheese
- 1980's baseball cards worth money
Yankees should try not to win the AL East: Second place positions them to play the Twins in the first round and skip the Rangers, who just swept them. Yanks own the Twins in the post-season, and Cliff Lee will always scare me. At least until he's in pinstripes next year. And how about Derek Jeter. His average is down to .261 and he's going to be a free agent. A brutal negotiation session awaits the Yankee brass. He looks like a broken down man in his 15th full year. More like 16+ seasons, if you count the post-season games. His agents will want at least four years, as he still has a shot at Pete Rose's hit record, but I fear the wheels are off. And while we're playing pessimists on the Yankees, they are not looking anything like a World Series contender. An erratic starting pitching staff and too many guys hitting under .270 in key parts of the line-up will not make up for a deep bullpen.
College Football: Rutgers and the Big East look awful. Oregon looks frisky. Marcus Lattimore looks like a stud. Why is Arkansas 12th in the nation? Is Mallett that good? Did anybody really think Penn State, Florida State or Miami had a shot this weekend? And what is up with Lou Holtz' lithp? The lisp and the voice seem to be turning into a parody of themselves, moreso by the day.
UPDATE: How 'bout them Dukies!? Ha-yuge upset win over the Hokies is strong sign for lovers of the A-10, err CAA football fans all over the Eastern part of the US. The Dukies' win was so impressive that the team garnered 11 votes in this week's AP poll. I shart you not. Check here if you don't believe me. I love that some guy put them at 15th in the country to get these votes. Hopefully his name will surface.
(D-Train was right that this was indeed news worthy, although the state of Idaho may be a bit crestfallen.)
English Premier League: Wayne Rooney scores in all the wrong ways. In case you missed this news from across the pond, here's a recap. Wayne Rooney used to love whores. He married a foxy chick with a severely disabled younger sister. Wayne impregnated the foxy chick and kept loving whores. Meanwhile, Man U blew a 2 goal lead in the 90th minute against Tim Howard's Everton squad. You stay classy Wayne.
NFL: Not sure if you guys have heard, but the Jets have a game in a new stadium tonight. The team is supposed to be pretty good, when it's not harassing female reporters. I'll check it out and report back. I have seats that are DIRECTLY behind Fireman Ed. 14 rows behind him. Oy ve. I'm tempted to heckle him for being a tool, but the dude looks pretty jacked up.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
EMBED-Hot Colts Fan Cheers For Wrong Team - Watch more free videos
Update: Glad to see zman throw a post up for kickoff weekend banter. I also had planned to get the world excited for Week 1 of the Inaugural Imaginary League. That's right folks, we haven't even called it fantasy football and you're already bored. But bear with us, briefly, and then jump in the comments to laugh at me for losing by 169 to Zman this week.
In brief, ten of us obviously wanted to waste more time on imaginary football at work, so here's the esteemed lineup of owners (with week 1 matchups):
Leinart Wig Company (TJ)
I couldn't even come up with a funny name. Great start to the season.
homeboys bonanza (zman)
I sense some very tense Monday and Tuesday conversations on "Zman and the Teej" over this league.
I hope this is an homage to Huey Lewis.
Mr. Mashed Potatoes (GoldenBoy TNT)
Probably a reference I should get. Or not. Ted likes Philly. Enuff said.
A great Week 1 matchup between the two clear winners in "Best Team Name"...
Paging Dr. Faggot (Geoff)
...though this name has to be #1 simply because it made it through the Yahoo filter unscathed.
Bears (Michael Jack Lang)
Worst. Name. Ever.
WILL HURRICANE IGOR RAVAGE THE LEAGUE WEEK 1!!!!! Jim Cantore will tell us at the half.
The Lumberjacks (Mayhugh)
Hopefully a reference to the classic Monty Python sketch.
The Seaward (WheelhouseJerry)
Not googling this one...don't think it's a Seinfeld reference...it is Jerry, so maybe Arrested Development. Just googled it...I guessed right.
I think we all agreed to chip in 20 bucks for this league. Excitement ensues.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tropical Storm Igor Threatens to Become `Monster' as Season's Peak Looms
Igor, downgraded from a tropical storm to a depression off the Cape Verde Islands, is still forecast to strengthen into a hurricane as it moves across the Atlantic and may become a “monster,” forecasters said.
Igor, with sustained winds of 35 miles (56 kilometers) per hour, was about 155 miles west-northwest of the islands and was moving northwest at 20 mph, the U.S. National Hurricane Center said in an advisory at 4:30 p.m. East Coast time.
It’s still expected to become a hurricane in three days, the center said.
“Igor is going to be a monster, it will live up to its name,” Joe Bastardi, chief hurricane forecaster for AccuWeather Inc. in State College, Pennsylvania, said today.
(Joe Bastardi then lived up to his name by punching a fellow meterologist in the mouth, taking a whiz in a planter in the lobby, and storming out of AccuWeather HQ.)
Igor's a monster, baby.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
"Sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and dickheads" all agreed with Grace the secretary. They knew that Ferris Beuller was a "righteous dude."
We were sure this guy was cool too-- or at least cooler than Principal Vernon . . . although in retrospect, the whole "Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns" line seems pretty cool now.
The opening ten minutes of The Breakfast Club are one of the few things from the 80's that pass the nostalgia test. What is the nostalgia test? How do you pass? Something passes the nostalgia test when the actual thing-- movie scene, TV theme song, one hit wonder, novelty toy-- is better than your memory of the thing. I don't think Stretch Armstrong would pass the novelty test. I was discussing this topic over the long weekend with a friend, and we wondered if Wrath of Khan would pass. Doubtful. But Bender versus the world passes. Here it is, if you've forgotten.
And we knew high school would have been much better if we were more like this guy . . .
There was a consensus on what defined cool. You exhibited grace under pressure, you always thought of the perfect thing to say, and your hair defied gravity. You were descended from Shakespeare's Petrucchio. You were Mike Damone. Wherever you were, that was the place to be. And if you were making out, you played side one of Zeppelin IV. You were Detective Axel Foley. You were Teen Wolf.
But over the years, something happened. Cool changed. In fact, it very may may have turned itself inside out. For example:
The next movie, which came earlier, probably helped pave the way for a guy like Napoleon Dynamite. And the soundtrack is so great that it doesn't matter that Max Fischer is a ridiculous dweeb with disturbingly shaggy eye-brows. He is somehow cooler than Miles Davis. I would be cooler if MY life had a great sound track.
You may have empathized with Anthony Michael Hall (The Geek) in Sixteen Candles, but you certainly didn't think he was cool. And you knew where you stood in school; you knew if you were Farmer Ted or Jake Ryan.
But these days, if you conform to the old archetype of cool, you might be headed for disaster. The director might punish you for looking good, being popular, and having hair so beautiful that it is insured for ten thousand dollars.
We can lament the Death of Cool, but, honestly, it was unrealistic and unattainable. It made most of us feel lame and spastic. The new cool is more realistic, less sarcastic, and, most importantly, it gives teenagers hope. And so now we have these guys to aspire to . . . the new paradigm of cool.
Adventureland exemplifies the death of the old cool. The ostensibly coolest guy in the movie, Mike Connell, isn't really cool at all. He never jammed with Lou Reed. His coolness is a lie. Lou Reed was from a distant, cooler time, and these kids have no access to that. They come to accept that they are just awkward teenagers with dysfunctional families trying to make sense of their lives.
And though it is nerdy, the new cool is not sexist.
If they were around today, they'd probably hang out with this guy.
Monday, September 06, 2010
Keep the volume down at work.
I drafted this crossover prediction on Friday night and set it up to publish on Sunday. By Saturday someone already released a "Baltimore club edit," whatever that means. Be prepared to hear this song ad nauseum.
Cee-Lo x Emynd "Fuck You" (Baltimore Club Edit) by Emynd
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Says Zable, "If you've ever eaten a pretzel and taken a swig of beer, that's what it tastes like. Why should you drink beer when you can eat it?"
I think this proves definitively the existence of a supreme being. Only a merciful and beneficent Lord would bestow such a gift on his people. Can I get an "Amen"?
Friday, September 03, 2010
Thursday, September 02, 2010
2010-2011 Wizards Public Address Announcer Tryouts
What: The Wizards are looking for a new voice to announce their home games for the upcoming 2010-2011 season. We’re looking for a booming and authentic voice to help bring our games to life. Basketball announcing experience is a plus, but not mandatory.
When: Monday September 13 from 6pm-9pm
Where: Verizon Center
I've got a booming and authentic voice (many would say annoying as well). I figure if I put this in (virtual) print, I can't back out. So yeah, I'm gonna do this on Monday night the 13th. Wish me luck. No matter what happens at least the wrap-up post will be entertaining.